For You

August 2, 2011
1:45 AM
Location – The Staals House, Thunder Bay, Ontario
Linda

“Mom, why are you still up?”

I look up from the table to see both Marc and Eric standing before me. I could’ve sworn they went to bed when everyone else did. Maria, Lindsay, Tanya, and Makayla decided to share a room tonight while Joe and Jared shared a room with Eric, Parker and Marc, leaving Mrs. Mariani in Jordans old room and Henry sleeping in our own.

I didn’t go up to bed like everyone else. I stayed downstairs, watching the news and reading online articles on the incident and on Spencer Bradley. I wasn’t going to be able to sleep until I knew both Jordan and Azalia were both home and okay. It was tough to let my baby go out like that, but he had to do what he had to do. “Oh, I couldn’t sleep, that’s all. Have you heard from Jordan?”

“Not since we found out his car blew up,” Marc replies as the two sit down at the table. “Mom, you should really get some sleep.”
“Marc, I’ll be okay.”
“You’re really not going to wait up for him, are you?” Eric asks.
“What makes you think that?”
“Mom, we know you well enough to know that you’re waiting up for him…he was the problem child.”

I don’t say anything, my boys know me to damn well. They knew I wanted to wait up for my son and what I could consider my daughter to walk through the door and say that they’re home and that they are going to bed. I wanted to wait up for them to say, “Hi Mrs. Staal! Jordan got drunk, but don’t worry, I drove his car home!” That wasn’t going to be the case though, I knew damnw well that wasn’t going to be the case. “Did he get hurt from the explosion?” I finally ask.

“He didn’t say, I’m sure he’s fine,” Eric replies.
“You know…Azalia came to visit your dad and I on her spring break.”
“So that’s why she ditched us,” Marc begins.
“Oh please, when Jordan broke up with Heather, she spent the whole weekend with you and Lindsay, don’t even,” Eric interrupts his brother.
“She’s such a good kid, has proper manners, ediquite, no wonder Jordan loves her.”
“She honeslty is a good kid, a hardass, but a good kid,” Eric smiles. “I miss her.”
“I know you do, we all do.”
“Did you talk about Jordan at all when she visited?”

Marcs question takes me back to the conversation I had with Azalia over coffee at nine in the morning on a Tuesday during her spring break. Hank went to go pick us up pancakes, since we really weren’t in the mood to make breakfast what so ever. She was wearing a hoodie of Jared’s she stole when she last saw him, as she sat on the chair drinking coffee with her hair in a messy bun. “She asked how Jordan was holding up after the break up. I told her he was slowly getting over it, when I knew he was one hundred percent over it.”

“You knew he had it for her, didn’t you mom?” Marc asks me.
“Marc, everyone knew he had it for her, everyone but Azalia knew.”
“What happened after that?” Eric asked.

The two sitting there listening to me talk about the subject made me think back to when they were little before Jared was born. They were listening with so much eagerness, as if they were hearing their bedtime story. This was like their bedtime story; it was their way of coping with what was going on with them. “I flat out asked her if she liked Jordan more than a friend.”

“How’d that one go?” Eric asks me as I watch Marc go into the kitchen. “Marc, what are you doing?”
“Making coffee, we’re going to be up for a while, so I might as well make some coffee. Mom, continue please,” he says from the kitchen.
“She was in shock that I asked her the question. She smiled though and flat out said she had feelings for him…that’s when she told me what he told her.”
“What did he tell her?” Eric asks.
“That he broke up with Heather for another girl and he refused to tell Azalia whom it was.”
“Jordan is a fucking idiot.” Marc yells from the kitchen.
“And you’re not?” Eric yells back.
“I had to speak for the guy when met Azalia, come on, lets face it, Jordan is not the brightest crayon in the box.”
“And you are?”
“Boys, stop fighting,” I begin as Eric brings his attention back to me. “I told her she needed to tell him she liked him before hit was to late.”
“Mom, do you have half and half?” Marc yells again.
“It’s in the refrigerator!” Eric yells. “Didn’t you see Jordan shortly after that?”
“I did.”

I watch Marc come back to the table with a coffee pot, three mugs, and the carton of half and half. He pours each of us a coffee and leaves us room to put half and half in. I take a sip while looking at Marc, who is playing with the spoon in his cup. “So mom, keep enlighting us with this information you didn’t share with anyone,” he says.

“Jordan’s team was playing Toronto, so your father and I went to watch. We met up with Jordan for dinner the night before.”
“How’d that go?” Eric is asking. “Was he trying to dodge the conversation?”
“Your father had a phone call to make, so I brought up why he broke up with Heather. He said it was because of another girl, so I asked if it were Azalia.”
“Oh God, did he flip the table?” Marc asks, nearly choking on his coffee.
“Nope, he was honest and said yes, but he wanted to find the right moment to tell her….”
“Mom, are you okay?”

I don’t say anything after I stopped talking in midsentence about Jordan’s feelings over Azalia. There had to be more to what they were fighting about, all we knew is that he thought she still loved Marc. Did she even have feelings for Marc? “I’m just worried about Jordan and Azalia, I really am.”

“Mom, you’re crying now,” Marc begins as he pats my hand. “We’re all worried. God, one of us should have gone with him earlier.”
“What kind of sick twisted game with rules would someone make?” I ask.
“I don’t know Mom, Jordan’s a tough guy, I’m sure he’ll kill Spencer.”
“What were the two even arguing about before Jordan got knocked out?”
“Me.”
“Marc, honey, did she love you?” I ask him.
“She was jealous of Lindsay, because she said she was a lucky girl to have a guy like me. I told her on New Years Jordan loved her and that I knew somewhere in her she loved him…”
“Shit man, that’s deep,” Eric says.
“And you all think I’m dumb…. anyways, there has to be more than what they were arguing about.”
“Wasn’t she avoiding him when she got here?”

Eric’s face lights up as I ask that. He then hits his head with his free hand before taking a sip of coffee. I watch him set the coffee cup down and look at Marc and I, as I feel like I knew what he was going to say. “She wanted to tell him,” he finally spits out.

“What?” Marc and I ask in unison.
“She wanted to tell him that she loved him, but knowing Azalia, she was afraid he was going to reject her, so she avoided him. Jordan on the other hand, thought she still loved Marc…there was probably a confrontation and words went down…. someone was probably going to share feelings before Spencer appeared on the drive way.”
“You think that’s why she was avoiding him?” Marc asks.
“I know it, trust me, I know that girl like the back of my hand. She doesn’t like rejection and she’s not a hardass, she’s actually a chicken shit.”
“Do you think Jordan will get her out of there alive?”

Marc and Eric look at me as the question leaves my mouth. Marc squeezes my hand as Eric’s eyes close for a good minute. He’s in deep thought, but you can honestly tell he is worried. “Mom,” he finally says, opening his eyes, “Jordan will kill Spencer and get her out of there alive, I can guarantee it.”

“Do you think he’ll be okay?”
“I know Jordan mom, he puts up a fight, and let me tell you something, your son will put up a fight for her.”
“In the meantime, you should probably try to sleep,” Marc tells her.
“Fine, but I’m sleeping on the couch.”
“What’s wrong with yours and dads room?”
“Your fathers’ snoring has been awful lately. I love you both,” I tell them, kissing their cheeks and hugging them before leaving for their fathers office.
“We love you mom, we promise it will be okay.”

Eric

“Moms a wreck.”
“No shit Marc.”

Marc and I are still at the table, drinking coffee after our mother left for our dad’s office. We both know were not going to get sleep tonight, we weren’t sure how anyone else in the house was going to do it, especially Jared, who was became a basket case after Jordan left. “Do you think she’s okay?” Marc is asking me now.

“I honestly don’t know Marc…for all we know, she could possibly be dead.”
“Please don’t talk like that.”
“I know you didn’t want to hear that, believe me, it’s a possibility she could be. Hell, Jordan almost died.”
“What are you thinking about?”

I don’t say anything as I’m in deep thought of the time I first met Azalia. Tanya and I came into town with my mother before the season started. We all went to lunch that day, Tanya, my parents, Mrs. Mariani, Joe, Maria, Makayla, Jordan, and Azalia. I remember watching the stolen glances between Jordan and Azalia, and how I thought Azalia was nuts when she was yelling at the T.V. over a UFC fight. “When I first met the Marianis, I thought Azalia was nuts.”

“You know, she did fall down the stairs then slip on hardwood floor in a thirty second time span.”
“She’s an interesting one…she didn’t say a word until the UFC Fight came on the TV at the pub…oh was she livid.”
“Jordan really likes her, doesn’t he?”
“She really likes Jordan too…”
“This shouldn’t have happened.”
“One of us or if anything, all three of us should be with him right now…Marc, did you honestly care about her the way she cared about you?”

Marc isn’t saying anything now; he’s just looking at his coffee, trying to think of the appropriate words to say. Knowing Marc, he didn’t want to sound like a dick, even though he probably would end up sounding like one.

“Honestly, she’s a nice girl, but when I saw the way Jordan was looking at her when he first saw her, I knew he wanted her and only her. I couldn’t hurt Lindsay, Azalia is a nice girl though, she is really pretty, and you can bet your ass that if I didn’t have Lindsay and Jordan didn’t love Azalia, I’d be chasing Azalia like there is no tomorrow. However, I do care about her, she’s like my little sister, and when Jordan says he’s going to need back up, because believe me, I know he will, my ass will be there in a heartbeat.”

“Shit, you are just full of deep shit tonight Marc.”
“Oh shut up you.”

I hear my phone go off as soon as Marc tells me to shut up. I pull it out of my pocket and see it’s a text from Jordan. I start to get the nerves and I pray to God he is in one piece and a live, instead of dead and in many pieces. My eyes widen as I read the text. “Eric, who is it?”

“It’s Jordan…he’s at the Old Peterborough Hospital.”