Status: Thoughtful
Cold Shock
Cold Shock
Get.. to the... gate.
Not without you.
Go.
Of all his last words. Go.
What exactly had just transpired?
The shocking cold did nothing to reign her thoughts in as conversation went on around her.
“I dialed Earth.”
“Yea I know like I’ve seen you do a hundred times before, but my keen professional eye is seeing a few differences between this place and Stargate Command - THAT for one...”
She looked to the wall of ice illuminated by the flashlight, but she didn’t really see it, didn’t really hear the loud musings of her two male companions.
He had just been bantering about bathrooms and pyramids. Surely Vala’s disappearance was nothing more than an endeavor to relieve herself. He had seemed unworried. She had also picked up on the hint of annoyance at Daniel’s anxiety.
Of course his mood - everyone’s mood - had changed when Teal’c vanished mid explanation of how Vala couldn’t have left the room. She had jumped, gun to the ready as he waved his arms in the just recently vacated space.
He had called her name first, as always expecting her to have all the answers yet never truly disappointed when she didn’t.
And this was one of those times when she didn’t.
She should have. She should have been able to tell him what was going on. She should have guessed the restraints wouldn’t hold the System Lord, should have done something to stop either man before he had...
As her thoughts turned even more inward, retracing their steps through the ultimate journey of any lifetime, her mood dropped at a rate that matched the temperature’s.
Exactly how often had she let him down? She knew this wasn’t the first.
There was the time she had disobeyed an order to leave a child to her own demise miles underground. She had been unable to leave the awake and ailing girl, choosing rather to risk dying along side the little one who had endeared herself to her. She should never have bucked his authority.
There was the time she had gone “Amazon Woman” on him, as he liked to call it, getting dangerously violent to satiate a sudden desire to mate. Granted she had been infected by a virus that had a barbaric manifestation, but she had never allowed herself to just explain it away so easily in spite of his ability to do so. She should have fought it.
There was the time they had been trapped in a frozen cavern, much like this, the DHD buried beneath a layer of ice. When she HAD been able to dig it out, the gate had refused to dial. She had watched him slip slowly away from her then as internal injuries and hypothermia threatened his life. She should have figured out they were already on Earth.
It had been Jack who had visited her in her time of solitude aboard the Daedalus - even if he didn’t know it. She should have told him.
It had been Jack who had said he lo-
“Sam!”
Hearing her name brought a sharp intake of icy air. The question that had been asked eluded her as her train of thought was completely broken, leaving her dazed and confused. Blond head came around momentarily.
“I don’t know.”
She noticed the weak insecurity her own voice had taken to match the inner struggle. She quickly diverted cerulean eyes from Daniel’s in hopes of keeping at least some of it to herself.
Jack had known that insecurity on several occasions. He had seen the fear in her eyes when only a force field separated her from him and freedom. For just a moment they had been invincible with the “upgrades” the Tok’ra had asked them to test. And he had been able to reach into her soul with only his eyes, quietly calming her spirit, silently promising all was not lost when those upgrades failed.
He had known the insecurity when she had accounted to him the months she had worked on rescuing him from a planet he had been unwittingly stranded on. He had seen her despair as she reiterated all the plans she had gone through to unbury the gate so he could come home - never knowing if this was the time, and learning to expect disappointment.
He had known it as he had tried to comfort her through Jolinar’s death, who had trusted the memories left to her by the Tok’ra. Even more importantly he had been there to offer comfort through her father’s blending with a Tok’ra and later his death.
He had seen her break when her - THEIR - best friend in the form of Dr. Janet Fraiser died on a rescue op.
He had seen if flash through her eyes when he explained the details of his promotion to general, and again when he had told the team he was being moved out of Stargate Com-
“Look.”
The sharp yet soft voice meant to reign her back to the present brought her head around. She was unable to hide the pain as she came eye to eye with Cam.
“I know what happened back there, but we need you in here and now. Wherever and whenever that is.”
Of course. Mentally she kicked herself as she worked to get her emotions under control. She was trained for this. She needed to breath, to focus. Jack would have killed her if she allowed herself to fall apart now.
“Right. Ok...”
Survive physically now so you can die mentally later.
“... Ok. Looks like the active gate warmed things up for a bit...”
Not without you.
Go.
Of all his last words. Go.
What exactly had just transpired?
The shocking cold did nothing to reign her thoughts in as conversation went on around her.
“I dialed Earth.”
“Yea I know like I’ve seen you do a hundred times before, but my keen professional eye is seeing a few differences between this place and Stargate Command - THAT for one...”
She looked to the wall of ice illuminated by the flashlight, but she didn’t really see it, didn’t really hear the loud musings of her two male companions.
He had just been bantering about bathrooms and pyramids. Surely Vala’s disappearance was nothing more than an endeavor to relieve herself. He had seemed unworried. She had also picked up on the hint of annoyance at Daniel’s anxiety.
Of course his mood - everyone’s mood - had changed when Teal’c vanished mid explanation of how Vala couldn’t have left the room. She had jumped, gun to the ready as he waved his arms in the just recently vacated space.
He had called her name first, as always expecting her to have all the answers yet never truly disappointed when she didn’t.
And this was one of those times when she didn’t.
She should have. She should have been able to tell him what was going on. She should have guessed the restraints wouldn’t hold the System Lord, should have done something to stop either man before he had...
As her thoughts turned even more inward, retracing their steps through the ultimate journey of any lifetime, her mood dropped at a rate that matched the temperature’s.
Exactly how often had she let him down? She knew this wasn’t the first.
There was the time she had disobeyed an order to leave a child to her own demise miles underground. She had been unable to leave the awake and ailing girl, choosing rather to risk dying along side the little one who had endeared herself to her. She should never have bucked his authority.
There was the time she had gone “Amazon Woman” on him, as he liked to call it, getting dangerously violent to satiate a sudden desire to mate. Granted she had been infected by a virus that had a barbaric manifestation, but she had never allowed herself to just explain it away so easily in spite of his ability to do so. She should have fought it.
There was the time they had been trapped in a frozen cavern, much like this, the DHD buried beneath a layer of ice. When she HAD been able to dig it out, the gate had refused to dial. She had watched him slip slowly away from her then as internal injuries and hypothermia threatened his life. She should have figured out they were already on Earth.
It had been Jack who had visited her in her time of solitude aboard the Daedalus - even if he didn’t know it. She should have told him.
It had been Jack who had said he lo-
“Sam!”
Hearing her name brought a sharp intake of icy air. The question that had been asked eluded her as her train of thought was completely broken, leaving her dazed and confused. Blond head came around momentarily.
“I don’t know.”
She noticed the weak insecurity her own voice had taken to match the inner struggle. She quickly diverted cerulean eyes from Daniel’s in hopes of keeping at least some of it to herself.
Jack had known that insecurity on several occasions. He had seen the fear in her eyes when only a force field separated her from him and freedom. For just a moment they had been invincible with the “upgrades” the Tok’ra had asked them to test. And he had been able to reach into her soul with only his eyes, quietly calming her spirit, silently promising all was not lost when those upgrades failed.
He had known the insecurity when she had accounted to him the months she had worked on rescuing him from a planet he had been unwittingly stranded on. He had seen her despair as she reiterated all the plans she had gone through to unbury the gate so he could come home - never knowing if this was the time, and learning to expect disappointment.
He had known it as he had tried to comfort her through Jolinar’s death, who had trusted the memories left to her by the Tok’ra. Even more importantly he had been there to offer comfort through her father’s blending with a Tok’ra and later his death.
He had seen her break when her - THEIR - best friend in the form of Dr. Janet Fraiser died on a rescue op.
He had seen if flash through her eyes when he explained the details of his promotion to general, and again when he had told the team he was being moved out of Stargate Com-
“Look.”
The sharp yet soft voice meant to reign her back to the present brought her head around. She was unable to hide the pain as she came eye to eye with Cam.
“I know what happened back there, but we need you in here and now. Wherever and whenever that is.”
Of course. Mentally she kicked herself as she worked to get her emotions under control. She was trained for this. She needed to breath, to focus. Jack would have killed her if she allowed herself to fall apart now.
“Right. Ok...”
Survive physically now so you can die mentally later.
“... Ok. Looks like the active gate warmed things up for a bit...”