I Never Want to Leave This Bed

I awoke the next morning to an empty bed. Though his physical being was gone he still lingered in my room. His scent still saturated my sheets; the air in my room was still thick with the sweet smell of sex. Sighing, I pulled myself out of bed and shuffled over to the windows and opened them. I needed to let this room air out; I didn’t want him here anymore. I knew he was gone. It’s your own fault.

With another sigh of melancholy, I began to strip the sheets off my bed. As I carried the large pile of linens to the washer, I saw an envelope on the bar. Instantly dropping the sheets, I snatched up the envelope and tore it open. There was a formal goodbye from Jonathan, written in his neatest handwriting.

Jennifer,
I apologize for not being there to say goodbye, I hate goodbyes. When you have an addiction it seems nearly impossible to give it up and I’m well aware that I am addicted to you. It took every ounce of my being to leave you alone in that bed. Surely, if you gave me the chance, I’d never do it again. You’re the sunshine sifting through the clouds after a long, dark, storm in my life. Though the clouds seem to be rolling over my horizon once again, I can only hope that you’ll reappear and shine your light in my life.
I love you,
Jonathan

Slowly lowering the letter, I placed it back in its envelope and back onto the counter. All the strength I had convinced myself that I had crumbled. The words penned on that mere sheet of paper were burned into my head. What had I done?

It was apparent to me that I just let my new found love go, released him when I had no reason to. My job could have been easily replaced; my bestfriend would love me no matter what. Was all this really worth the loss of somebody who truly understood me? This is who you are.

Sadly, I picked up the linens and continued on with my day. There was no use in sitting here dwelling on lost love, for one day it would be found again. Maybe Jonathan wasn’t the one, maybe love could be found again with somebody new.

With that hopeful thought in mind, I carried on with my daily chores. After my apartment was looking straight, I quickly showered and dressed myself to go visit Sarah. I needed to take my mind off of things and see a friendly face.

Dressed in a pair of jean shorts, a white cami, and a red cardigan I began my journey down the street to Sarah’s complex. Sadly enough, he building was located right next to Jonathan’s. I felt my stomach knot and clench as I passed his building, I secretly hoped he would walk out and I could take back everything said last night. Unfortunately, his presence was absent so seeing him would be impossible.

I looked up at the terrace and remembered leaning against the railing, Jonathan’s arms around me, and his hot breath on my neck, his lips grazing my skin. My stomach felt queasy and I took in a sharp breath, I couldn’t do this to myself.

Mustering up my courage in the elevator, I walked to Sarah’s door and rang the buzzer. She opened the door almost immediately and pulled me into her apartment with a yank of her arm.
“We haveto talk!” She demanded, pulling me further into her apartment and tossing me onto her red sofa. I looked around and took in the Japanese decorations that adorned her apartment as Sarah bounded off to retrieve something. Sarah’s apartment had an edgy asian theme to it, with modern furniture and brightly colored walls. She even had a kimono framed, hanging on her wall. The living room was beyond tasteful, it was breath taking.

“Look at this,” She said flipping through one of those gossip magazines, OK! I believe it was called. When she reached the page she had desired she tossed it in my lap. “Look at that!”

There on a page toward the back there was a page titled “Men on the Prowl”. Within three columns showed three different men spotted with new women after a recent break up. I didn’t understand how this applied to me until my eyes glanced over the last column where Jonathan stood with his arms around a half dressed blonde on a night lit terrace. That blonde was me.

I began to read the text that was located just underneath the picture.

”Jonathan Rhys Meyers was spotted just days ago with this blonde vixen after a rocky split with the London heiress that occupied him for nearly 7 years. The new couple has been spotted leaving not only his L.A. home but also his home in Dublin and London. Jon looks to be taking the leap once again.”

“Have you learned your lesson yet, teenyboppers and gossipy housewives have all seen your sexy panties?” Sarah said coldly, sneering when she looked at Jonathan’s face. Her animosity toward him was greater than I had once thought.

“We’re not together anymore, so you need not worry.” I told her flatly, sliding the magazine across the counter to her. Her scowl faded and turned sympathetic.

“Did he hurt you again?”She asked softly, her features lost their hard edge.

“No, he wanted me to move to his London loft with him while he filmed and I told him no.” I explained a sad tone in my voice.

“It’s probably for the best. He was no good.”Sarah said shaking her head. “Good riddance to him.”

“I loved him.”I said softly, sighing and tilting my head back. Trying desperately to keep the tears in, I had to be strong.

“I did too; he’s a dream boat until you hear his cocky little voice in person.”Sarah ranted. “He’s just like king Henry; the part was perfect for him.”

“I guess you’re right.” I said with an exhausted sigh, I didn’t feel like trying to argue with her. I would never be able to convince her that he had some good. He had made a mistake and Sarah would not soon forget it.

“Don’t even worry about it; we’re on the flight to Madrid in a few days. Then it’s all fun in the sun.”Sarah said with a broad smiling, her beautiful smile brought one to my face. I needed to make the best of things, everything would work out.