Chernobyl
One of Three.
“Where are you going, Dean?” My five year old voice was prickled as I stood in the doorway of my older brother's bedroom. I hugged my stuffed rabbit, Junibee, closer to my chest as I watched Dean throw a handful of shirts into a suitcase.
“C’mere, Chrissy,” he beckoned me into the room. I scurried over and jumped on his bed.
“Where are you going?” I repeated.
“I don’t know yet,” he said honestly, “but I have to go, okay? Mommy and Daddy don’t want me here anymore.” His voice was hastened and quick, but still patient with me.
“Why not?”
“Because they’re mad at me,” he answered simply
“Can I come with you?” I leaned forward, dropping Junibee next to me.
“No, Chris. I’m sorry, but you have to stay here with Mommy and Daddy,” he put a pair of jeans into the suitcase. It wasn’t until he looked down at me and really looked me in the eyes that he stopped. “Now, don’t cry. Pretty girls don’t cry.”
Easier said than done. Dean was my brother just as much as he was my best friend. Little five-year-old-me couldn’t grasp what was really going on other than Dean was leaving me and I didn’t know where he was going and that I would probably never see him again.
“Look,” he sat down next to me, and pulled me onto his lap, “I’m going to leave for a while, and I don’t want to leave you behind, but I have to, okay?” I nodded against his chest and sniffed a bit. “I promise that one day, when you’re all grown up, I will come back for you. You just have to be patient, got it?”
“O-okay,” I sat up again and wiped at my eyes. “But if you’re gone, then who will play Dinosaurs with me?”
“Junibee will,” he put the rabbit back in my hands. “And when I come back, I will play with you every single day, if that’s what you want. Just don’t forget that one day, I will come back for you. I promise.” He kissed the top of my head and stood back up. “Now go to bed, okay? I will see you in no time.”
After that, I cried. I missed my brother and I wanted him back. I really loved him, and I knew he loved me, so I didn’t understand why he had to go.
The funny thing about being a child, however, is how easily one gets distracted and just how forgiving one is. One week after Dean had left, so had the memory. I didn’t think about him anymore, and no one ever said anything about it. Mom went ballistic the one time I did try and ask what happened, and I had learned to keep my mouth shut. I went about my life playing with Junibee and having tea parties with my other toys. After a while, I had grown to accept it, and I pretty much forgot the pain. I occupied myself with other things and kept myself distracted and poof. No more longing for Dean. No more thinking about Dean.
At least, not until many, many years down the road.
**
AP Chemistry. AP Biology. AP Government. AP Literature. AP Calculus. AP French. What idiot takes all of these classes at once? That idiot was me.
It was a Friday afternoon and I had just come in from school. My backpack dropped down with enough force to cause an earthquake. My six textbooks weighed more than I did, and I was not looking forward to doing the hours of homework I knew were coming.
As always, Mom was at work, and Dad was down in Texas for a business trip, so I had the house to myself.
Sighing as I walked into the kitchen, I threw my keys on the counter and went for a cup of water. I nearly dropped the glass, though, when I heard someone behind me as I was closing the cupboard.
“Chrissy?”
I let out a little scream and snapped around, surprised, scared, and unsure of what to do. Before I could say anything, the figure in front of me spoke up.
“I promised I would come back.”
I looked a little closer at the person before me. The dirty blond hair, the small symmetrical nose, the bright green eyes. I knew them.
“Dean,” I breathed out. “You’re—“
“I’m here.” He had a proud smile on his face as he stood across the room.
“Wh-why are you here?” I set the glass down on the countertop, watching him carefully.
“Because I promised you I wouldn’t be gone forever. Why…you don’t seem too excited?” He started walking toward me, cocking his head in confusion.
“I’m just…um, shocked, I guess. Does Mom know you’re here?” He was now less than seven feet away.
“No. If she knew I were here, she would take you away and never let me near you again. But I wouldn’t let her do that if she tried.” A twinkle in his eye was unsettling, and the way he was walking towards me made me uncomfortable. I remember my brother as my hero, someone who would unconditionally love me and never let anything hurt me, but there had to be a reason Mom kicked him out, and from the way it had been dealt with in the past, I knew it was serious.
“Dean, I think you should leave,” I blurted out, beginning to walk backwards. I didn’t trust him enough to turn my back to him.
“Chrissy?” he followed me out, looking hurt, “Why would you say that?”
Something about this just didn’t feel right. This person had abandoned all of us years ago, and all of a sudden pops up one afternoon without warning. How did he even get inside…?
“I, uh…”
“No,” he held up a hand, “I’m sorry, Chrissy. If you really want me to leave, then I will. Can I just have a hug?” He held his arms out.
I knew that if I didn’t oblige, he would stay forever, remembering how persistent he used to be. Slowly and carefully, I took the steps into his grasp.
This was one of the first mistakes I would make throughout this journey. I should have seen it coming. Everyone would always tell you to trust your instinct and that when something seemed fishy, there probably wasn’t something right. I, being the naive teenager I was, chose to ignore this feeling, and do what I was told.
As soon as I was in his grasp, Dean took a hold of the back of my head, and in an instant, had control over my motions. He pulled my hair, and forced a cloth over my face.
“You shouldn’t have tried to leave me,” I instinctively inhaled, and immediately felt lightheaded. “I love you, Chrissy,” was the last thing I remembered before my knees went weak, and I was gone.
“C’mere, Chrissy,” he beckoned me into the room. I scurried over and jumped on his bed.
“Where are you going?” I repeated.
“I don’t know yet,” he said honestly, “but I have to go, okay? Mommy and Daddy don’t want me here anymore.” His voice was hastened and quick, but still patient with me.
“Why not?”
“Because they’re mad at me,” he answered simply
“Can I come with you?” I leaned forward, dropping Junibee next to me.
“No, Chris. I’m sorry, but you have to stay here with Mommy and Daddy,” he put a pair of jeans into the suitcase. It wasn’t until he looked down at me and really looked me in the eyes that he stopped. “Now, don’t cry. Pretty girls don’t cry.”
Easier said than done. Dean was my brother just as much as he was my best friend. Little five-year-old-me couldn’t grasp what was really going on other than Dean was leaving me and I didn’t know where he was going and that I would probably never see him again.
“Look,” he sat down next to me, and pulled me onto his lap, “I’m going to leave for a while, and I don’t want to leave you behind, but I have to, okay?” I nodded against his chest and sniffed a bit. “I promise that one day, when you’re all grown up, I will come back for you. You just have to be patient, got it?”
“O-okay,” I sat up again and wiped at my eyes. “But if you’re gone, then who will play Dinosaurs with me?”
“Junibee will,” he put the rabbit back in my hands. “And when I come back, I will play with you every single day, if that’s what you want. Just don’t forget that one day, I will come back for you. I promise.” He kissed the top of my head and stood back up. “Now go to bed, okay? I will see you in no time.”
After that, I cried. I missed my brother and I wanted him back. I really loved him, and I knew he loved me, so I didn’t understand why he had to go.
The funny thing about being a child, however, is how easily one gets distracted and just how forgiving one is. One week after Dean had left, so had the memory. I didn’t think about him anymore, and no one ever said anything about it. Mom went ballistic the one time I did try and ask what happened, and I had learned to keep my mouth shut. I went about my life playing with Junibee and having tea parties with my other toys. After a while, I had grown to accept it, and I pretty much forgot the pain. I occupied myself with other things and kept myself distracted and poof. No more longing for Dean. No more thinking about Dean.
At least, not until many, many years down the road.
**
AP Chemistry. AP Biology. AP Government. AP Literature. AP Calculus. AP French. What idiot takes all of these classes at once? That idiot was me.
It was a Friday afternoon and I had just come in from school. My backpack dropped down with enough force to cause an earthquake. My six textbooks weighed more than I did, and I was not looking forward to doing the hours of homework I knew were coming.
As always, Mom was at work, and Dad was down in Texas for a business trip, so I had the house to myself.
Sighing as I walked into the kitchen, I threw my keys on the counter and went for a cup of water. I nearly dropped the glass, though, when I heard someone behind me as I was closing the cupboard.
“Chrissy?”
I let out a little scream and snapped around, surprised, scared, and unsure of what to do. Before I could say anything, the figure in front of me spoke up.
“I promised I would come back.”
I looked a little closer at the person before me. The dirty blond hair, the small symmetrical nose, the bright green eyes. I knew them.
“Dean,” I breathed out. “You’re—“
“I’m here.” He had a proud smile on his face as he stood across the room.
“Wh-why are you here?” I set the glass down on the countertop, watching him carefully.
“Because I promised you I wouldn’t be gone forever. Why…you don’t seem too excited?” He started walking toward me, cocking his head in confusion.
“I’m just…um, shocked, I guess. Does Mom know you’re here?” He was now less than seven feet away.
“No. If she knew I were here, she would take you away and never let me near you again. But I wouldn’t let her do that if she tried.” A twinkle in his eye was unsettling, and the way he was walking towards me made me uncomfortable. I remember my brother as my hero, someone who would unconditionally love me and never let anything hurt me, but there had to be a reason Mom kicked him out, and from the way it had been dealt with in the past, I knew it was serious.
“Dean, I think you should leave,” I blurted out, beginning to walk backwards. I didn’t trust him enough to turn my back to him.
“Chrissy?” he followed me out, looking hurt, “Why would you say that?”
Something about this just didn’t feel right. This person had abandoned all of us years ago, and all of a sudden pops up one afternoon without warning. How did he even get inside…?
“I, uh…”
“No,” he held up a hand, “I’m sorry, Chrissy. If you really want me to leave, then I will. Can I just have a hug?” He held his arms out.
I knew that if I didn’t oblige, he would stay forever, remembering how persistent he used to be. Slowly and carefully, I took the steps into his grasp.
This was one of the first mistakes I would make throughout this journey. I should have seen it coming. Everyone would always tell you to trust your instinct and that when something seemed fishy, there probably wasn’t something right. I, being the naive teenager I was, chose to ignore this feeling, and do what I was told.
As soon as I was in his grasp, Dean took a hold of the back of my head, and in an instant, had control over my motions. He pulled my hair, and forced a cloth over my face.
“You shouldn’t have tried to leave me,” I instinctively inhaled, and immediately felt lightheaded. “I love you, Chrissy,” was the last thing I remembered before my knees went weak, and I was gone.