Suicidal Memories

Banner By: <3KalliePie<3

"Hey"
I bit my lip as his blue eyes stared coldly at me, no answer coming from his mouth.
"Hm A-Aaron is upstairs, he will be here in a bit."
Still no answer came from him.
I took a step closer, my eyes watering as I reached for his face "Say something."
"Don't touch me," he snapped, making an awful feeling of emptyness take over me.
Maybe I was wrong when I thought I could take anything bad from him as long as Aaron was happy.
"James please why are you doing this? You know way too well I wouldn't just leave you like that. Maybe I was scared and didn't know what to say but I love so just hear me out. Please."
I could feel tears forming in my eyes, about to fall any minute. A sharp intake of air coming from my lips as he shoved my body against the wall.
"Why is it that I can't believe you?"
The tears I bad been holding back fell freely as he gripped my sides roughly, standing at my eye level.
A low cry left my lips, "Maybe because you're out of your mind."
He growled, staring at me mad.
I knew better than to piss him off but at that moment it really made no difference. He hated me anyway.
"You're the one who's out of your mind if you think appearing half naked in front of me will change what I think."
This surely didn't seem the man I had fallen in love with, this one was out of control. In the worse of the ways.
"What?? You think I'm seducing you?! Well I have to inform you of something you seem to have missed out, I'm not a whore like a certain little friend of yours!"

Another cry left my lips as he once more slammed my body against the wall, growling in my ear "Well you sure as hell look like it to me."
"How dare you!"
My hand was about to meet his cheek in a not so welcome motion when he grabbed my wrist, pinning it to the wall.
The anger burning in his eyes seemed to dim as his stare lingered on my forearm.
"Do you remember when I got it tattoed?"
More tears slid down my cheeks as a numb look took over those features I so deeply loved.
"You had been insisting all week 'cause you thought the idea was perfect." I made a little pause to breathe decently before I started to choke on my words. "I remember you saying you were gonna tattoo me pin-up like, so you could jerk off to it. It sounded so nasty at the time but I would give everything just to have you saying those silly things to me again.
And that time you wanted me to tattoo that first photograph we took of Aaron, when he borned, on my belly and I said I wouldn't do it 'cause it would be disturbing while we had sex, having an image of our son between us. You agreed but said I hadn't complained about that when I was pregnant. I then said it wasn't the same thing, you insisted it was, so I pouted and you spent the next half hour trying to make me kiss you. I remember every detail."
A mixture of a laugh and a cry exited my mouth as I remebered out loud those small episodes of our life.
"We did such silly things...What happened to us?"
The grip he had on my sides softened, just like his gaze as our eyes stared into eachothers.
"I don't know...I wish I did."
Our breathing was a little more steady, grazing hotly over one another.
"It looks like we will never work out."

I watched the way his eyes wandered all over me, taking in every detail they cold find and focusing intensely on it. My mouth apparently his favorite.
"Let's pretend for just one minute we can work out and forget everything around us."
"Sounds like a plan," I lowly whispered.

My fingers ran through his hair, stroking it in a caring way and touching every bit of his face I could find.
Shivers ran down my spine as his hands softly grazed the skin he had just moments ago bruised.
"You're not a whore..."
"You were indeed a little out of your mind."
I smiled sweetly at his statement and gave him an apologetic look, not being able to take back what I had said.
"I know," he softly chuckled "don't worry. Even though it wasn't just a little..."
This burning sensation spread through my lips as his warm breath cascaded over it.
"I know Jimmy, I know."
The soft feeling of his lips against mine was being like torture.
We kept brushing together and parting, doing it over and over. I was craving for him.
"just do it before our minute is over."
It felt as if after these sixty seconds were over, that everything would go back to the same mess as before. I couldn't let such thing happen so quick.
"As you wish."