Suicidal Memories

Still James's point of view

Suddenly her low sobs ceased, leaving an uncomfortable silence in the room.
Oh c'mon I'm James fucking Sullivan. The Rev. I don't get scared.
Swallowing dry I turned to face her. Now I knew what I was so scared of.

She was sitting inour her bed, her little frame shaking, trying to hold back the sobs that were threatening to come out.
Herbeautiful pale face glowing in the darkness, tears cascading down her cheeks and leaving wet traces.

I felt my heart sinking the moment my eyes met her gorgeous green orbs, bloodshot from crying. It killed me to see her crying.

"Hey", her voice was low and weepy.
"Hi Lyn."
My voice sounded harsher than I wanted it to and I instantly regretted it as more tears fell down her perfect porcelain face.
"I'm so sorry Caitlyn, I didn't mean to make you cry I just...I just don't want my son to think bad stuff about me."
Okay I lied. What I really meant was that it hurt me to know she has such a bad opinion about me.
"I know I shouldn't have said it...I'm so sorry."

Normal point of view

"I know I shouldn't have said it...I'm so sorry", I sobbed loudly.
Wtf why was i even apologizing?? It was senseless, at least after all he made me go through.

But then there he was, staring at me with his gorgeous blue eyes and that cute ashamed face that always made me melt and forgive him, and made me want to run to his arms.

To much of my surprise he sat next to me on the bed and his soft, warm hand gripped mine, pulling me close to his chest. I didn't even try to fight him and let him hold me in his arms.
"Promise me you won't cry more over me."
I shook my head, getting comfortable against his chest "I can't promise such thing."

I heard him sigh but I had completely zonned out by then.
I hadn't been this close to him in quite a while. I could still remember every single thing we used to do, every single way he used to touch me.
And at that exact moment my heart, body and soul were begging for it.

My mind driffted off to all those times we would lay in bed, my back being pressed against the matress by his skilfull hands...

Suddenly my eyes shot open, feeling the exact same motion being done by the exact same skilfull hands.

Staring at me with a smile he end up laying my down and covering me with the sheets.
"Sorry you seemed tirerd. I'll go watch Aaron if you want to sleep."
I found myself drooling again. I think I had forgotten how sweet he can be.

With a slight blush on my cheeks I nodded giving him a sweet smile, "That would be nice James."

Smiling, he leaned down and pressed his lips to my forehead in a small kiss, "We'll be downstairs then."
Sharing one last glance he made his way to the door, closing it behind him.

I cuddled in my sheets feeling a silly teenager again, with a crush, a huge one. Butterflies twirling around inside me giving me this weird feeling.
Exactly like he used to make me feel.