There's Only One Way Down This Road

Alex;
It’s already time to leave again. To say being away from Jasmine is unbearable is a huge understatement.

It’s awful. Having to fall asleep every night knowing that Jasmine is all alone kills me. I want her to have all that she possibly can, and being alone doesn’t fit that. I’m in love with her, so not seeing her or being able to kiss and hug her or hold her is terrible. I wish she could just come on tour with us.

It’s not like I didn’t know that I’d be going on tour when we first started this relationship, though. I knew we would have to eventually. I just didn’t think I’d be lasting months with this girl. I didn’t think I’d fall so hard for her.

But I did, and now we just have to deal with it.

It was 3 a.m. right now, and we’re waiting for the bus to pull up outside of the house. Of course, Matt had us awake at an ungodly hour on a Wednesday morning. Thank goodness Jasmine’s not back in school yet, or she wouldn’t be awake to say goodbye.

“Lexy, I don’t want you to leave.” Jasmine said, while cuddling deeper into my side as we were sitting on the loveseat. I just kissed the top of her head and pulled her even closer into me.

“I don’t wanna leave either, baby girl, but I have to.”

“How long are you gonna be gone for this time?”

“Only about two months before we’re home again. I promise I’ll be here for our seven month anniversary. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Jasmine smiled sadly and pecked my cheek, burrowing her face into my neck. “Do you think you’re gonna be able to come visit during your break? We’ll be in California around that time for a mini break.”

“Damn straight I’ll be there. Warm, cozy beaches over this cold hell? Fuck yes.” Hearing foul words come out of this innocent little girls mouth still shocked me, but I dismissed the thoughts from my mind and leaned down to connect my lips with the beautiful girl in front of me.

I could feel Jasmine smiling slightly into our kiss, making me smile as well. She’s precious. My hands brought Jasmine onto my lap and found a resting place in the back pocket of her skinny jeans. Jasmine wrapped one hand around my neck to play with the hair on the base of my neck while the other one rested on my cheek.

I couldn’t help but slightly nestle my cheek into her hand as we pulled away. Jasmine giggled quietly and pecked my lips again.

“Hey guys, the bus is here.” Matty said, walking into the room with his usual worried look. “Sorry to interrupt and all.”

Immediately, Jasmine’s hands locked around the back of my neck and her head went into my shoulder. Matt gave a sad smile exited the room leaving Jasmine and me alone.

I could feel a wetness soaking my shirt as Jasmine cried. This girl was breaking my heart and she didn’t even know it. Seeing my girl cry was probably number two on my list of least favorite things, right after having to leave her.

“I don’t want you to leave Alex.” Jasmine said moments later, still crying heavily. All I could do was embrace her and rub her back slightly.

“Trust me sweetheart, I don’t want to leave either. But I have to. I promise I will be back as soon as I possibly can. I will call you and text you and skype you all the time, so it’s almost like I haven’t left. I swear on my life I will not let this affect our relationship in anyway. I love you and I will be seeing you in a few weeks.”

Jasmine’s crying eased up and her grip loosened a little bit. “I love you too, baby.”

Reluctantly, Jasmine and I stood up and made our way out to the bus where Matt had already loaded all of my belongings. Once again, we stood in a passionate embrace kissing and just holding each other until we weren’t allowed to anymore.

I pulled Jasmine as close as possible to me and leaned down to kiss her one last time. When my lips met hers, sparks shot all throughout my body and made my knees weak. Lightly and slowly, she let her tongue slide along my bottom lip, forcing my lips to part. I could feel wetness on my cheeks, making me believe that Jasmine was crying again. It wasn’t until we pulled apart and she wiped at my cheeks that I realized that I was the one who was crying.

Matt touched my back and led me onto the bus. When I looked back, Jasmine was crying as well and lifted up her hand to wave goodbye. I brought my hand to my lips and blew her a kiss before mouthing the words ‘I love you.’ Jasmine acted as if she was catching my kiss and holding it to her heart, mouthing the statement back.

Jack lightly touched my arm, leading me away from the doorway of the bus and onto the couch where I cried into his shoulder. I can’t possibly keep leaving her.

Jasmine;

a few weeks later;

Dear Jazzy,

It’s been four weeks since I last kissed you and I do believe I am going insane.
Four weeks is too long for me to be away from the girl I’m in love with.

Thankfully, however, your February break is next week. Seven days. We’ve done twenty eight days just fine, another seven will not ruin us.

I really do miss you, baby.

Writing you emails feels just like when we first started talking. I love you. (:

Can you believe that we’ve almost been dating for six months? That’s half a year. It’s only felt like six weeks.

GUESS WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT!
So we were about to do our show, and Jack decided to dick around after the first song. (as always, right?) Or so I thought, because he gets on the microphone and proclaimed that he wanted to dedicate the show to a very special girl whom he loves dearly. (like absolutely head over heels in love with this girl) Then he called whoever it was on the phone, only assuming it was Becca, and asked her out. When she said yes, of course I’m assuming still because I could only hear his part of the conversation, he said he loved her and hung up. Then decided to tell the sold out arena all about his lover.

It was cute.
for jack.

But yeah! They’re dating now. Which means cute double dates and group dates with the rest of the guys.

But of course, my girlfriend will be the cutest one there. <3

and of course you most likely already know that they are dating. You spend every waking moment with that girl.

In every single city we have stopped in, I’ve bought you a gift. Some more expensive than others, but still good gifts.

I wish I could buy you the world, baby.

How have things been recently at home? Last night, you started crying and said you had to go before I could ask what’s wrong. Honestly, that freaks the fuck out of me because I don’t know if it’s just because you miss me, or if you realized you wanna break up, or if there’s something medically wrong. And I can’t be there, so it sucks ten times more.

What’s wrong? I don’t like you being upset. Ever.
Especially if there’s a chance that I am the reason why.

I am so in love with you it’s not even funny.

Seriously, I am waiting for the day when I can ask you to marry me.

Is it bad that I’m thinking of that?

Whatever. When you love someone, right? (:

Text me as soon as you possibly can after reading this.

I miss you <3

Make sure you bring your acceptance letters when you come to visit me. In seven days.

How are my babies? I’m sure they miss me a lot. I hope you’re not spoiling them, though. I know how you get with them. (:

I miss you and I cannot wait for these seven days to be over.

I can’t wait to kiss those lips again.
Or hold you at night.
Or hug you.

I love you, baby girl.
<3

Love always, Alex.