Sequel: I'd Run Away ›
Status: complete
There's Only One Way Down This Road
My friends are in the bathroom getting higher than the empire state
The knocking on the door continued as I began cleaning up my mess and storing my stash. I didn’t care about who was on the outside, however. Instead of answering, I opted to stay on the phone with Cameron for a few hours. And by a few, I mean all the way until 4 a.m. the next morning.
That’s like over twelve hours.
Once we hung up, I continued laying on the bed and staring straight at the ceiling.
I love not have any thoughts.
Around ten o’clock in the morning, the knocking on the door continued again until it stopped briefly. All of a sudden, the door knob was wriggling and the door was flung open. I didn’t even look to see who it was as they entered the room and sat on the bed next to me. I didn’t look to see who it was when they lied on the bed next to me. I only looked over when they pulled me into a hug.
“Talk to me.” Rian demanded, but not in a mean sort of way.
“I’m just done, Ri. I can’t keep doing this.” I answered, laying my head on his shoulder. His hand automatically moved to stroke my hair as he held me.
“Done with what, exactly? Your relationship with Alex, because I would be too after what he said, or with life? Because if it’s the latter, we need to get you in to see a therapist and get a refill on all of your medication.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle slightly at Rian’s comment. “I’m just done with Alex, boo.”
“Why though? You two were so perfect up until a few weeks ago? Tell me the whole story, and I want every detail.” Rian demanded again, still politely.
“Can we go down to the beach so I can tell you? I don’t want anyone to overhear anything.” I question, completely serious. Of course I’m gonna tell Rian everything. He’s the only one in the band besides Zack I can trust not to tell anyone.
So Rian and I were walking down to the beaches, where we found a comfortable place to sit about a mile down.
“Alright, start from the beginning. What happened when we left?”
“Okay. So you guys left and I had to go back to school a few days later and everything was fine. Alex and I were still acting like we always did, I was extremely happy. You know. But then about a week later, I just felt like shit. I was always stressed, I stopped sleeping, I stopped eating, and I was just depressed. It was pretty much like my junior year all over again. I couldn’t tell Alex, though, because I knew he would get worried and want to come home. So I just kept to myself. I couldn’t even tell Becca because I knew she would let something slip to Jack who would tell Alex. It got to the point where I just wanted to die. People began noticing, too. Like Spencer asked me about it, but that ended with me sobbing in his arms for a few hours. Cameron noticed too, like the guy who was dating my best friend and also happened to be one of my best friends until everything happened? Yeah. We met up for coffee and I ended up spilling everything that had been happening to him. Then, we started meeting up a lot and just complaining to each other and venting. Somewhere along the line, however, we started getting high together. Just smoking weed at first, but then we started snorting crank. That became like an every few day occurance. I was always high, it seems. I stopped calling or answering Lex because I didn’t want him to notice. The one time I did, I was crashing hard and ended up sobbing to him and then hanging up. Like it got pretty rough when I crashed, so I just stopped crashing. The first time I’ve crashed in weeks was my first night here. But somewhere when I was hanging out with Cameron, I started developing feelings for him. I mean, people thought we were dating because we were so close. I guess I just needed something close to a relationship to fill the place of Alex when he was gone. I mean, I still love Alex, but I need to try new things. He was my first boyfriend ever, you can’t expect me to stick to him my entire life.”
Until this confession, I’d never seen Rian Dawson speechless. But damn, I stunned the boy.
We sat on the beach in silence until Rian spoke up.
“So you’re stoned right now?”
I busted out laughing at his statement as he sat there looking confused.
“That is all you got of that entire thing? Yes Rian, I am. Really stoned actually.” I said, still giggling at the puzzled boy in front of me.
“Oh, okay. I can’t really tell you much but to be careful. I mean, that stuff can mess with your brain girl, and you’re too smart for that to happen. I can’t really tell you to stop, however, because I’m not your parent. I will ask you to get help, but I can’t force you. You gotta make your own decisions. About the Alex thing? I think you should give Cameron a go. Not trying new things will just limit your possibilities. You deserve the world, and I think someone who is your best friend could give it to you.”
The number one reason why I absolutely adore Rian Dawson; he is so level headed about everything. He doesn’t judge you or hold things against you, but treats you like he’s meeting you for the first time.
He’s amazing.
The drummer stood up and offered a hand out to me, helping me up as well. We began our walk back in a comfortable silence, neither one of us really needing to say much.
I don’t really know how I will be able to tolerate the last full day I have here, tomorrow. I mean, Jack will side with Becca who will obviously side with Alex. Zack will probably just work out a ton, and Rian will always be talking with Cass. Maybe I’ll start working out again, too.
Nah, I’m already skinny as fuck and that would probably cause me to lose more weight.
Then we have their show tomorrow night and we leave for the airport at 1 p.m. the next day.
To be completely honest, I’m ready to get out of here. I’ll have to move out of Jack’s house though. Damnit. Maybe I could stay with Cam? Probably. His parents love me more than Becca’s, and that’s saying something. I’ll have to call him later to see if that’s okay.
I reached for my phone out of my back pocket, where I always left it, to find the pocket empty.
“Hey Rian, did I bring my phone down here with me?” I asked, panicking slightly. If anyone in that house got their hands on my phone, I’m fucked. They all know my code.
“Umm, no. It was charging when we left.”
I immediately began running back to the house, ignoring Rian’s shouts behind me. Running up the stairs was a hassle, due to my cloudy airways and lack of excerise in weeks.
Bursting into my room, I found Alex sitting on the bed with my phone in his hands. Shit.
“Drugs, Jasmine. Really? THAT’S what you thought could replace your medication? How stupid can you get? And not just pot, nooo. You had to go and snort meth. THAT’S why you’ve been so fucked lately. Damn, I can’t believe didn’t realize earlier. I can’t believe you wouldn’t even tell me.” Despite Alex’s harsh tone, I could hear hurt and betrayal seeping through his words. Even worse, I could see it in his eyes and clearly across his face.
“It’s nothing personal against you. I didn’t tell Becca or Spencer either. I just don’t understand why you think you have the right to be going through my phone.”
“Because I’m your boyfriend. And it’s kind of strange for a boyfriend to see his girlfriend’s phone lighting up ever twenty minutes with texts and then looking at one that appears on the lock screen and reading that some guy misses her and loves her. What the hell?”
“Oh, I assumed from what went on yesterday that we’re no longer dating. I can’t date a guy that not only squeezes me so hard I have bruises or calls me a psycho bitch a few times because I have a few mild mental issues, but also uses super personal things that he knows I’m sensitive about over my head in an argument. So if you didn’t assume that yesterday, I’ll clear it up for you now. We’re done, Alex.”
I watched his face completely drop as the words left my mouth, and I almost began to regret my decision. That was until I looked towards the mirror hanging opposite me and saw the lovely hand marks wrapped around my arms.
Alex quickly put on a straight face, void of emotion, and nodded. “Okay. Works for me.” He then walked out of the room and through the crowd that was forming around the doorway once again. Jack immediately followed Alex while everyone else stood and stared at me.
Becca shook her head at me, clearly disappointed. “You’re not gonna get another guy like Alex, Jasmine. Way to mess that up, though. Super proud of you.” She turned on her heel and walked away.
Zack and Rian decided to come in the room, and pulled me onto the bed. I’m pretty sure they were expecting me to cry, but I’m not hurt enough for that. Our relationship has been over for about a week and a half now. I came to accept it.
My phone began vibrating in my pocket, and I couldn’t help retain the smile on my face as I read who the text message was from.
From Cammykins <3
i miss you dear and i cant wait to see you in a day and a half. ill be at the airport to pick you up <3 love you baby x
To Cammykins <3
me and alex are completely over. now i just cant wait to see you (: <3 love you more xx
From Cammykins <3
now youre all mine. i love you more than the amount of stars in the sky. times 4000000000000000. xxx
To Cammykins <3
youll have to take me on a date then. (; i love you more than the amount of people there are in this world times infinity and six. Xxxx
From Cammykins <3
i just cant wait to kiss you. your love will never overdo mine. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx love you darling (;
Cue the butterflies.
That’s like over twelve hours.
Once we hung up, I continued laying on the bed and staring straight at the ceiling.
I love not have any thoughts.
Around ten o’clock in the morning, the knocking on the door continued again until it stopped briefly. All of a sudden, the door knob was wriggling and the door was flung open. I didn’t even look to see who it was as they entered the room and sat on the bed next to me. I didn’t look to see who it was when they lied on the bed next to me. I only looked over when they pulled me into a hug.
“Talk to me.” Rian demanded, but not in a mean sort of way.
“I’m just done, Ri. I can’t keep doing this.” I answered, laying my head on his shoulder. His hand automatically moved to stroke my hair as he held me.
“Done with what, exactly? Your relationship with Alex, because I would be too after what he said, or with life? Because if it’s the latter, we need to get you in to see a therapist and get a refill on all of your medication.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle slightly at Rian’s comment. “I’m just done with Alex, boo.”
“Why though? You two were so perfect up until a few weeks ago? Tell me the whole story, and I want every detail.” Rian demanded again, still politely.
“Can we go down to the beach so I can tell you? I don’t want anyone to overhear anything.” I question, completely serious. Of course I’m gonna tell Rian everything. He’s the only one in the band besides Zack I can trust not to tell anyone.
So Rian and I were walking down to the beaches, where we found a comfortable place to sit about a mile down.
“Alright, start from the beginning. What happened when we left?”
“Okay. So you guys left and I had to go back to school a few days later and everything was fine. Alex and I were still acting like we always did, I was extremely happy. You know. But then about a week later, I just felt like shit. I was always stressed, I stopped sleeping, I stopped eating, and I was just depressed. It was pretty much like my junior year all over again. I couldn’t tell Alex, though, because I knew he would get worried and want to come home. So I just kept to myself. I couldn’t even tell Becca because I knew she would let something slip to Jack who would tell Alex. It got to the point where I just wanted to die. People began noticing, too. Like Spencer asked me about it, but that ended with me sobbing in his arms for a few hours. Cameron noticed too, like the guy who was dating my best friend and also happened to be one of my best friends until everything happened? Yeah. We met up for coffee and I ended up spilling everything that had been happening to him. Then, we started meeting up a lot and just complaining to each other and venting. Somewhere along the line, however, we started getting high together. Just smoking weed at first, but then we started snorting crank. That became like an every few day occurance. I was always high, it seems. I stopped calling or answering Lex because I didn’t want him to notice. The one time I did, I was crashing hard and ended up sobbing to him and then hanging up. Like it got pretty rough when I crashed, so I just stopped crashing. The first time I’ve crashed in weeks was my first night here. But somewhere when I was hanging out with Cameron, I started developing feelings for him. I mean, people thought we were dating because we were so close. I guess I just needed something close to a relationship to fill the place of Alex when he was gone. I mean, I still love Alex, but I need to try new things. He was my first boyfriend ever, you can’t expect me to stick to him my entire life.”
Until this confession, I’d never seen Rian Dawson speechless. But damn, I stunned the boy.
We sat on the beach in silence until Rian spoke up.
“So you’re stoned right now?”
I busted out laughing at his statement as he sat there looking confused.
“That is all you got of that entire thing? Yes Rian, I am. Really stoned actually.” I said, still giggling at the puzzled boy in front of me.
“Oh, okay. I can’t really tell you much but to be careful. I mean, that stuff can mess with your brain girl, and you’re too smart for that to happen. I can’t really tell you to stop, however, because I’m not your parent. I will ask you to get help, but I can’t force you. You gotta make your own decisions. About the Alex thing? I think you should give Cameron a go. Not trying new things will just limit your possibilities. You deserve the world, and I think someone who is your best friend could give it to you.”
The number one reason why I absolutely adore Rian Dawson; he is so level headed about everything. He doesn’t judge you or hold things against you, but treats you like he’s meeting you for the first time.
He’s amazing.
The drummer stood up and offered a hand out to me, helping me up as well. We began our walk back in a comfortable silence, neither one of us really needing to say much.
I don’t really know how I will be able to tolerate the last full day I have here, tomorrow. I mean, Jack will side with Becca who will obviously side with Alex. Zack will probably just work out a ton, and Rian will always be talking with Cass. Maybe I’ll start working out again, too.
Nah, I’m already skinny as fuck and that would probably cause me to lose more weight.
Then we have their show tomorrow night and we leave for the airport at 1 p.m. the next day.
To be completely honest, I’m ready to get out of here. I’ll have to move out of Jack’s house though. Damnit. Maybe I could stay with Cam? Probably. His parents love me more than Becca’s, and that’s saying something. I’ll have to call him later to see if that’s okay.
I reached for my phone out of my back pocket, where I always left it, to find the pocket empty.
“Hey Rian, did I bring my phone down here with me?” I asked, panicking slightly. If anyone in that house got their hands on my phone, I’m fucked. They all know my code.
“Umm, no. It was charging when we left.”
I immediately began running back to the house, ignoring Rian’s shouts behind me. Running up the stairs was a hassle, due to my cloudy airways and lack of excerise in weeks.
Bursting into my room, I found Alex sitting on the bed with my phone in his hands. Shit.
“Drugs, Jasmine. Really? THAT’S what you thought could replace your medication? How stupid can you get? And not just pot, nooo. You had to go and snort meth. THAT’S why you’ve been so fucked lately. Damn, I can’t believe didn’t realize earlier. I can’t believe you wouldn’t even tell me.” Despite Alex’s harsh tone, I could hear hurt and betrayal seeping through his words. Even worse, I could see it in his eyes and clearly across his face.
“It’s nothing personal against you. I didn’t tell Becca or Spencer either. I just don’t understand why you think you have the right to be going through my phone.”
“Because I’m your boyfriend. And it’s kind of strange for a boyfriend to see his girlfriend’s phone lighting up ever twenty minutes with texts and then looking at one that appears on the lock screen and reading that some guy misses her and loves her. What the hell?”
“Oh, I assumed from what went on yesterday that we’re no longer dating. I can’t date a guy that not only squeezes me so hard I have bruises or calls me a psycho bitch a few times because I have a few mild mental issues, but also uses super personal things that he knows I’m sensitive about over my head in an argument. So if you didn’t assume that yesterday, I’ll clear it up for you now. We’re done, Alex.”
I watched his face completely drop as the words left my mouth, and I almost began to regret my decision. That was until I looked towards the mirror hanging opposite me and saw the lovely hand marks wrapped around my arms.
Alex quickly put on a straight face, void of emotion, and nodded. “Okay. Works for me.” He then walked out of the room and through the crowd that was forming around the doorway once again. Jack immediately followed Alex while everyone else stood and stared at me.
Becca shook her head at me, clearly disappointed. “You’re not gonna get another guy like Alex, Jasmine. Way to mess that up, though. Super proud of you.” She turned on her heel and walked away.
Zack and Rian decided to come in the room, and pulled me onto the bed. I’m pretty sure they were expecting me to cry, but I’m not hurt enough for that. Our relationship has been over for about a week and a half now. I came to accept it.
My phone began vibrating in my pocket, and I couldn’t help retain the smile on my face as I read who the text message was from.
From Cammykins <3
i miss you dear and i cant wait to see you in a day and a half. ill be at the airport to pick you up <3 love you baby x
To Cammykins <3
me and alex are completely over. now i just cant wait to see you (: <3 love you more xx
From Cammykins <3
now youre all mine. i love you more than the amount of stars in the sky. times 4000000000000000. xxx
To Cammykins <3
youll have to take me on a date then. (; i love you more than the amount of people there are in this world times infinity and six. Xxxx
From Cammykins <3
i just cant wait to kiss you. your love will never overdo mine. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx love you darling (;
Cue the butterflies.