Where's Warren?

That night, I found myself in bed, crossing out potential places Warren could be. After we scoured the city, county and region for any signs of Warren—and not finding anything, not even a thread—we both retired to our respectful beds for a good night sleep before we had to face school and work for the next five days. But sleep didn't come easy for me as my brain worked over time at remembering the party and where Warren could be.

How could he have occupied my mind so easily? Surely, he must have been thinking about me too.

Sighing, I pulled my disheveled hair into a ponytail and slid down in bed. This Daisy was tired, her body worn and ached from all the driving and walking. Her voice hurt from talking to countless people, from screaming at disrespectful people who'd sneered at Mrs. O'Kain. This Daisy needed to sleep, needed to dream....she needed to remember.

Running my hands over my face, I groaned into the palm of my hands. If I'd never gone to that party, Warren would be here. He wouldn't have been untraceable, lost. Lost. My poor Warren was out there, without me. Without his family. He was alone.

I snuggled down in bed and clutched the stuffed bear he bought be for my 14th birthday. The bear was donning a shrunken custom made 'Daisy and Warren' shirt. The memory of him actually giving me the present flitted to my mind, and my body was overwhelmed with a new aching. My body ached for Warren, not sexually, but it ached just to feel his warmth against me. It ached to know whether he was still breathing or not. It ached to know what happened to him. Tears rose to my eyes, and without another thought, I cried, my face buried in the neck of my bear.

I was sure I'd never cried so much, my body over taken with such strong emotions. Tears raced down my cheeks at an alarming rate and, for only a split second, I wondered if I could have cried all the water out my body. It seemed possible.

I had to force myself to stop crying, force the horrible thoughts of Warren's body decapitated and lying at the bottom of an ocean out of my mind and force only positive thoughts into my mind. Like, Warren just wanted to go out of town for something and he's just fine. He'll call me when he finds it.

Actually, that does sound like something Warren would do....

I laid my head on Warren's shoulder as we watched the sunset from his roof. Our feet carelessly dangled off the edge of the building, the wind breezed against our cheeks. I closed my eyes, wondering what it'd be like to capture this moment and hold it forever.

“I wonder what I'm like....on the inside,” Warren murmurs, his voice sounding troubled. I lifted my head and opened my eyes, looking at him in confusion. Warren smiles and trails a hand up and down my side reassuring that he's okay.

“I mean, what I'm like...my inner self. My spirit. My soul.”

Still, his words startled and confused me. “I...I don't understand,”I said, my eye brows knitting together. This just came out of the blue! How was I supposed to react??

Warren could have only smiled again and nuzzled my hair, his breath tickled my neck. I laughed and gently pulled away, staring into Warren's warm blue eyes. His beautiful baby blues that I'd loved so much. The baby blues that burned with love and devotion towards me, which made me smile. I knew Warren would never hurt me, he loved me way too much.

He grabbed my right hand and put it in his lap, rubbing over the back of it with his thumb. His other hand pushed my head back onto his shoulder, and I let him. Warren sighed as we returned to our quietness.

“I just want to find myself, Daisy. I want you to understand that.” He said, his voice was soft and even alluring. “And even though you are the only one that can make me feel so...myself, I'm going to have to go on a venture to find myself. Okay?”

“I understand, I'll always understand. You don't have to explain yourself to me.” It was the only thing I could say.

“Okay.” His answer remained just a simple word, and he kisses my forehead. I waited for him to say something else, but he didn't. Warren stared back into the sunset, his hand idly caressing mine. Questions arose in me just a little too late, but I held them in. He looked so peaceful, so comfortable, so why disturb him while he dreams off? I didn't. I sat there with Warren by my side, and enjoyed the sunset.

“Find his self?” I murmured, the flashback shocking me. I didn't even remember this until now?? How come? What could this have meant? Was my body trying to tell me something? Is this a clue as to not where, but why I couldn't find him? Was he hiding from me? Was he avoiding me? But why?

After almost 2 hours of going over this memory in my mind, I rendered this information useless. What would some information about him 'wanting to find his self' tell me? Nothing! The least someone could have given me was some fucking useful information!!

I tugged on the ends of my hair, my fingers coiling the strands around them in frustration. This was getting NOWHERE!!! But the days are still under 5, so I shouldn't have expected to find him yet, with the way things were going. I knew nothing, except he came with me to the party and we lit something on fire.

Oh wow, look at all the evidence I have!! Not.

I closed my eyes, distracting myself from the consuming thoughts. Soon, I drifted to sleep.



My cheeks hurt. My feet cramped a long time ago. My eyes were still crusted with sleep. Yet, I attempted to sit at attention, a sullen expression on my face as Mrs. O'Kain cried about her missing son to the local news. They had us in her living room, sitting directly next to each other, both dressed and prepped by their fashion team and chastised when we didn't cross our legs under our skirts. Who knew that being on TV would have been so stressful?

It made me want to rip my hair out. My brown tresses, the ones that Warren played with, braided, kissed and nuzzled 24/7. He always loved me to keep my hair long—and brown—for some reason. The few times I did add color to my hair, he claimed to not like it and didn't touch it until the color was gone. He was so picky when it comes to my hair.

Mrs. O'Kain cleared her throat and I realized that without thinking, my hands had began to caress my hair. I immediately returned my hand to my lap, betting that my cheeks were pink.

That must have summoned the attention of the news camera, because the news lady turned to me. Her smile looked plastered on, her cheeks permanently pulled back. I almost snorted at her face. Poor woman must be trying to reverse the signs of aging. I gathered this when she asks me a question and her forehead didn't move.

I stiffened a laugh and answered the question as soberly as I could. The thought of Warren imitating her, his deep voice rising to meet her shrill tone, made me almost burst out in laughter all over again. He would have sounded ridiculous!

Then I remembered that he was gone. It made me stop laughing and without even trying, the sullen experience returned to my face. I remained silent almost the rest of the interview, barely being able to wait until I could go to my house and change out of these ridiculous clothes. It should only have only been a few more minutes left....

Not more than an hour later, I was dressed in my own clothing, my hair combed and brushed the way I want and sadly, heading into school all alone. In Mrs. O'Kain's car, without Warren there to keep me entertained, the air was extremely awkward. I kept my arms wrapped around my body, shivers running through my body. Why was I so cold? I usually embraced the coldness, loving it more than anything. But that day, it felt so bitter.

“We're here,” Mrs. O'Kain said monotonously, her golden eyes hardened and positioned straight forward.

I looked at the shell of the warm, loving mother in pity. She seemed to be going through this alone. Her future ex-husband—Warren's father—had basically disappeared. Not that that's different from before, Mr. O'Kain barely showed up at all in the past. He was always “busy”, much like my own father...and mother. But I'd rather not go into that.

Shaking my head, I opened the car door and climbed out into the prying eyes of the teens in my high school. They all stared at me, some whispering behind their hands, others not bothering to hide their curious stares. I felt so naked, so vulnerable without Warren by my side. Closing the car door, I speed walked into the school, keeping my head down.

School was soo hard and boring. Literature kept repeating horribly sad ballads on love lost, History explored the death of many famous politicians, Algebra killed me, Chemistry explored many poisonous mixtures and Lunch surely contained many poisonous mixtures. By the time that I was walking to my third to last period class, I felt about as life-full as a 600 year old skeleton. With almost the last bits of energy left in my body, I dragged my body into my seat in Spanish.

I had to resist the urge to beat my head against the desk as the rolling tongue of my Spanish teacher spoke, the foreign words jumbled in my head. Oh great. After what seems like forever, my name was said. Lifting my head for practically the first time that day, I looked directly at the teacher.

“Daisy, como se dice....?”She gestured towards a window, asking me how to say it in Spanish.

“Ummm,”I stared at her uselessly, knowing the word but not being able to say it. How come my body won't co-operate today??

“Excuse me, Senorita?” A high pitched voice rung through my ears. Through my peripheral vision, I saw a well manicured hand pop into the air. Turning my head, my eyes came in contact with Little Miss Party Girl herself, Ellen Mae Bonner. She smiled at me, winking with air of mystery.

“Si?”

Ellen Mae launched into Spanish. And I don't mean every-other-word-is-umm kind of Spanish; I mean you-must-have-lived-in-Spain kind of Spanish. She rambled on, the foreign words easily rolling off her tongue. I didn't even bother trying to understand what she was saying; all I knew was that it's something about me.

When she's finally done, the teacher, Senorita Lopez nodded and gave me a sympathetic smile. I blinked back at her.

“Imma soo...sorry for your lose,” She said in her broken English. I nod at her, not really knowing what to say with almost 20 pairs of eyes staring at me. They must have been waiting for me to break down and cry, but I wasn’t going to. Not there, at least.

I turned my eyes back to Ellen, who was giving me a toothy smile. “Hey there Daisy,” She said cheerily.

“Ellen,”I nodded once at her.

She remained smiling at me, not saying another word. Just staring with that wide smile and it gave me a unsettling feeling. I fidgeted in my seat then turned away.

“You know,” Ellen said, grabbing my attention once more. She was smiling down at her desk now, drawing shapes on it with the eraser of her pencil. “You could convince anyone of anything, make them admit to anything, make them say what you want them to say just by making and never breaking eye contact?”

I tilted my head at her. “What does that-How does that...relate to me?”

She looked at me through her lashes. “Just thought you should know, just in case you need to use that on someone.”

Um, okay? Did the alcohol get to her pretty little innocent mind? Or is the girl just crazy? Both were quite possible, because the problem with anyone who was seen as someone who's important, is that they wanted to look perfect. So if Ellen had a disability, no one would have known. She probably wouldn't even know, because they'd hide it.

“Thanks.”

Nodding, Ellen returned to drawing shapes on her desk. I watched Ellen being so oblivious to the world around her as she hummed to herself. It made me want to ask about the party, while she was right in front of me. But she beat me to the punch.

“Any leads on where Warren is?”

“No, none at all. I can't even remember when's the last time I saw him,”I admitted, running my hands over my face in exhaustion. I’m sure that in those short days, I'd dropped almost 4 pounds.

“I can tell you've been looking, too.”

I looked at her through my fingers. “Of course I've been looking for him, he's my best friend. Basically my only best friend.” There was no basically about it.

“Basically? Are you kidding me? Ever since Warren walked into your life, you surrounded your life around him. Same with him,” Ellen said slight disdain in her voice.

“Excuse me?”Her outburst shocked me. Ellen has to be the sweetest girl in town.

“Nothing,” She shook her head, a no-show-no-tell smile covering her pink lips. I stared at her in confusion. Um, what was that about?

“You know, that trick won't work on me.” Ellen grinned and gathered her binders in one arm, slinging her book bag over the other shoulder as she stood up. “My father is the pastor of this town's church and my mother's a lawyer, you think I don't know how to hide my emotions and lie?” When I didn't reply, she let out a hearty chuckle. With a shake of her head, Ellen Mae whizzed out of the room, leaving me alone to realize that the bell that signaled us to move to our next class had rung. And the students had evacuated the class a long time ago.

I gathered my binders and book bag and walked out of the classroom, up the hallway to Health class. I settled in my usual seat, the second to last seat in the first row. Catching a glance at the seat behind me, my heart twisted painfully. Warren's seat.

He'd sit behind me and play with my hair as we waited for the class to be over. It seemed to provide some kind of entertainment for the both of us, just being in each other's company seemed like enough. Now, without his company or anything but memories, class seemed to drag by.

It feel like 6 more hours until I walked out of the horrid school, feeling even more vulnerable and alone as friends stood at their cars and outside, waiting for their bus, conversing while I was talking to no one. I considered making friends with the guy walking beside me, but it didn't seem worth it. Nothing seemed worth it anymore.

Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair. I needed Warren, so bad. SO bad.

A hand landed on my shoulder and jerked me back, almost sending my binders toppling to the ground. My throat released a weak scream a few seconds too late, seeing as the person placed a hand over my mouth already. I twisted my head against their grip and bore down on their hand.

A high pitched squeal startled me. I turned around, half startled-half relieved to see Ellen Mae behind me. She was holding her injured hand in his other, glaring softly at me.

“What were you thinking??”

“I-I thought someone was trying to do...something to me,” I murmured, avoiding her eyes. My answer was pathetic and I hoped she would move on without further questions but she continued with pain evident in her voice.

“In a busy school hallway?? This Warren thing's got your mind warped, Daisy.”

I cast my eyes downward, feeling foolish. What was I thinking? The action was very unusual to me, seeing as I didn't favor germs all that much. Where had I gotten the instinct to bite someone?

Ellen sighed and moved beside me, urging me on. I walked beside her, keeping my distance though. She looked deep in thought, opening her mouth many times but closing it before she said it. Finally, Ellen looked over at me. Her eyes were heavily clouded.

“Have you ever felt like life is a game?”

I started to laugh, but the seriousness on Ellen's face stopped me. Life's a game?

“Um, excuse me?”I managed, talking slowly.

“I mean, just think about it,” Ellen continued without missing a beat. “We go through challenges, life challenges that can make or break you. How's that any different from choosing a story line in a video game?” She didn't let me answer. “With all the technology in the world, you could become whoever the hell you want! How's that any different from choose a character to play with on a game?”

“It isn't...I guess.” I murmured thoughtfully. For a girl I almost considered mentally unstable, she sure did make some sense.

“Then...there's that point when someone's kidnapped or goes missing...”The sentence grabbed my undivided attention and I turned my head, awaiting the rest of her statement. “How's that any different from going on a mission to save someone's daughter in those Secret Service/CSI/FBI games they put out? All you're doing is looking for someone, and you could either get there on time or get there too late.”

I nodded, taking all this information in. Why? I had no idea, seeing as Ellen has a knack for lying, as she so shamelessly admitted earlier.

“The only difference is that if you get there too late, there's no reset button to try to save their life. It's over. They're gone. There's no bringing them back Daisy,” Her tone and words delivered a sucker punch right to my stomach. She was right. I wasn't working hard enough to find him. I only had so much time before not only the police, but other stopped looking for and worrying about Warren.

“Go ahead treat Warren's disappearance as a game, but remember that the life, his life has no reset button.” She moved to walk ahead of me but then stopped and looked over her shoulder, brown hair flying onto the opposite shoulder. “And neither does yours.” Then she was gone, disappeared into the sea of teens.

I stared at the crowd as it slowly disbursed.

Yep, she's definitely mentally unstable.