Broken Pieces

Things are different for me. I’m not like other children my own age. Sure, I may have dressed like them, acted the way some of them do, and I seemed like a normal girl. But looks are only skin deep…

I’m a fifteen year old girl who suffers with depression. Along with, I have insomnia, anxiety and I’ve been hearing voices. These voices are my only friends. They have been for the last three years; since I’ve come to live the ‘home’.

The ‘home’, that’s what the nurses and doctors that work and live here call it. In reality though it’s a hell hole. Treatment is tortures’ and the nurses and doctors are the devils and the demons of anyone’s life.

The worse is Greeny. She hates me and I’m not too fond of her, along with some of the other children. She just loves to get me in trouble. You know why? My sexuality; she hates it. I’m a lesbian. She’s always there for my treatment appointments, like her being there will make it a better effort to fix me.

That’s another reason I’m in the ‘home,’ by the way. Nana and Papa placed me in here. Being the very religious people Nana was raised as they sent me here because they thought the depression was causing me to want love from the wrong gender. I disagree with that thought completely. But Nana thinks I’m not mentally stable enough to know what I want. Papa just agreed with her completely. I don’t even think he tried to think about it himself. He just agreed with her to save himself from an argument.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Nana and Papa. They’re the only family, I have since my mom, dad, and sister were in the accident murdered.

I don’t remember them much since I was young when they passed and Nana doesn’t like to talk about them. And I don’t either (from what I do remember.)

Back to what I was saying about Nana and Papa, I love them I do but I’m upset with them. Instead of trying to handle me themselves they sent me away. As soon as they found out they gave up trying to do it themselves. They’re my family, family is supposed to help each other right?

There are other children her too. A few adults but those are only the ones that have been here since they were children. All of them are sent to the ‘home’ for different reasons. And the amount of time one stays is different from another. But the way they treat us all is the same. No matter how long you stay.

First few days nurses treat you so nice. They act like angels that would love to do nothing but help you. But that is far from the truth. After your there a few days and you’ve started to go to the theory, they couldn’t care less. Your just there and all they have to do is a crappy babysitting job till their shift ends for the day.

The living conditions aren’t the best, I think for a $1,000 every two weeks things could be a lot nicer. But what do I really know? This loony bin I’m trapped in could be a lot nicer than the others.

Ha, loony bin. It’s a weird thought to me, even now. Saying it and in all reality it’s just like a juvenile center, but here you will never be able to be as safe as you are there.