The Chronicles of James Pete Smith and Alysia Urie-Ross

This stupid school. This stupid fucking school. Everyone's all into Biebermort and the kids that aren't are called emo kids, and they're creepy as fuck. The first day was just a prime example of that. And I was able to disassociate myself with the emos. But that first day was also special.

I saw Jimmy "Smith." Or well, whatever. I know who he is, even if he doesn't have a clue. I knew I would see him, though. I saw it in a dream. One of those dreams. Those dreams that made me question the word "supernatural."

But everyone knows I'm strange.

Yes. I'm the adopted daughter of Ryan Ross and Brendon Urie. My dad and my daddy. Yes, I'm rich. Fine, I guess I'm pretty well known amongst the emo kids. But that doesn't make me a fucking prop.

So the first day at Valleysky High School was spent partially beating up douchebags that decided to insult my tits. Emo kids, too. Fucking scary, I tell you. But you know, seeing Jimmy made me forget all about that.

After the incident, we pushed out of the cafeteria. And then he went ahead of me. And he wouldn't tell me where we were going, but whatever. Not like I couldn't see over his head or anything. He was a short dude. So I could see the janitor's closet door when he broke into it.

"Really?"

He shrugged and sat on the floor. "It works. They never come here."

I rolled my eyes and plopped down on a wooden crate. "If they see us, they're gonna. If we get caught, we're dead. And personally I'd rather not eat my lunch when I'm wafting in the scent of shit and dead ferret."

"Well. That scent repels them. So you're going to have to."

I glared at him before pulling a brown paper bag out of my zebra print handbag. Everything I owned fit in that thing, almost.

When I opened the lunch bag, though, I made a face. "Really, daddy?"
There was a thing full of eggs, a thing full of bacon, and then a thing full of broccoli. It made no sense whatsoever. Yet again...we were talking about daddy here. He himself was insane.

Amused curiosity showed on Jimmy's face and I just handed him the bag. His amusement increased and he threw the damn thing at my head.

"Is your family insane?"

The pure irony of that question made me cackle. "Okay, yeah. We're pretty loopy."
You included, I thought. It's humorous when someone doesn't know who they are but you do. No, actually...it's a tad bit sad.

My nose crinkled up and I shook my head. "This gross combo of scents makes me wanna hurl." I pulled out a Midnight Pomegranate body spray--"Don't-"-- and spritzed it everywhere.

Jimmy scowled. "-do that."

I smiled sweetly and dropped the bottle. "Oops."

A swear from Jimmy's mouth and a swarm of emo kids later and I knew the mistake I just made. He was right. That horrible smell really kept them away. It made me want to keep a dead ferret in my purse.

We both stood up and looked out of the door's window.

There were 20 of them. My face was exausted. "Is there a window? A tunnel? An airvent? Or a gun so I can blow my brains out?"

He looked around. "No, no, it's not sturdy, and I see a power saw if you just wanna cut yourself to pieces."

I sneered. "Please give me the power saw, then."

"No."

"Ass." I stuck my tongue out at him. But then I had an idea.

"Jimmy, give me the powersaw. Seriously. Plugged and revved up."

He made a face at me. "Are you really gonna cut yourself up into nothing?"

I rolled my eyes. "Do you want out or not?"

"I do."

"Do it." And he did. I messed up my hair and put my best manic face on before walking out with the saw raised in my hand. "Go away. Go!" I pushed the heavy hunk of powertool in some kid's face, and they ran off crying, along with the lot of them.

I smirked victoriously, going back in the closet with him. I turned the saw off and tossed it aside. "That was fun."

Jimmy looked a bit shocked. Or maybe he was just too awkward.

So I quickly ate the overly greasy food in my lunch bag and we left the closet quickly.

"Where do we go now?" I asked, looking around the hall.

"I don't know. But after that display, I think we'll be safe for a while."

I grinned. "Yay."

Well, it probably was pretty scary. The daughter of two well known musicians, looking like a fucking psycho and holding a powersaw.

God, that better not ever go up on TMZ.

But what was weird was that no one was going near us. Not even the teachers. Or staff. And the piratey principal was terrified of me now.

So people were scared of me for now. Wonderful. At least a day of freedom. Something joyful, I suppose.

So we actually had to go to classes now. Fortunately I ended up in a class with Jimmy. Him and people he liked to pass notes with. He looked like he was on a mission...whatever. But I sat behind one of the girls he was note passing with. She had this really soft looking chestnut hair, and it seemed like she was a Belieber. Joy joy. So I was sitting with those folk. Alright.

Then I made eye contact with the other notepassing buddy.

Whoa.

She had this really long black hair, and it framed her adorable face perfectly. She was really...hot. Really.

And I guess she noticed my gawking, because both her and Jimmy were shooting me daggers. Oops. Obviously showing a little too much interest, I guess? Yeah, okay. I was still going to sneak peeks. No one can tell Ally Urie-Ross what to do. Other than my dads of course. But only because they're insane and awesome. No, scratch that. It's because they scare me. These are the men that ask me if I'm sexting whenever I touch my phone.

Then a note landed on my desk from behind me. Oh, there was an emo kid back there? Hm.

I looked at the note with confusion at first. Then fear. Then I opened it to find a very bad doodle of me with huge balloon boobs. Well I guess they weren't scared of me anymore.

"How much did they cost?"

Oh, can anyone leave my fucking tits alone? No? Are we that fucking immature?

I looked at the stupid kid, smirked, and started scribbling something down in my scribbly handwriting.

"Your mom's virginity." So much for maturity.

Threw the note back. And after a few minutes I got it back.

"Hope your daddies go bankrupt. Boo, you whore."

I got it back and grinned.

"Hope your mommy stops sleeping with everyone in town. and I'm a fucking slut, not a whore.
P.s. My tits are real."

I never got a response back. So I just sat there boredly until the bell rang and I was free for the day, instantly running over to Jimmy for some reason.

"Hi."

"Hey."

Some silence and walking before Jimmy talked again. "They're already making rumors about you."

"About?"

"Your tits, your sexuality, and...everyone thinks you're on crack."

And my heart sank instantly.