The Chronicles of James Pete Smith and Alysia Urie-Ross

Note: This chapter is Jimmy and Ally's text conversation.

Jimmy Smith: Forever not related to famous people
Ally Urie-Ross: no that’s a liee
Jimmy Smith: what, no cryptic comment like you always make when I talk about my family?
Ally Urie-Ross: Nope~
Jimmy Smith: Yeah sure. “that’s a lie” oh yeah, famous family: Donna and Harry Smith, daughter Emma, son the closeted wicked gay Jimmy.
Ally Urie-Ross: Ha you don’t even have a cluee
Jimmy Smith: We got famous for the car crash? And fuck you if you make some sort of fall out boy reference from that
Ally Urie-Ross: oh nevermind. You’ll figure it out eventuall.
Jimmy Smith: What the fuck do you mean?
Ally Urie-Ross: Well I told you a lot of things y’know, about emo kids and beliebers, etc, etc, right?
Jimmy Smith: Ally, do you even attempt to make sense?
Ally Urie-Ross: No, I don’t. Why try to make sense?
Jimmy Smith: Yeah of course I know about the emos vs auto tuners. I just don’t give a fuck.
Ally Urie-Ross: Oh my god you really have noooooo clueee
Jimmy Smith: Ally what the fuck are you talking about. Lol like I’m related to pete whatshisname.
Ally Urie-Ross: DEAR GOD
Jimmy Smith: Laughable right? Dude they’d worship me more than they worship you! They already want me cuz I have a squinting resemblance to him!
Ally Urie-Ross: Squinting?
Jimmy Smith: Lots of guys are short w dark hair and hazel eyes…actually, I probably look more like Harry Potter than him. I wear glasses sometimes.
Ally Urie-Ross: The irony of this conversation…
Jimmy Smith: My name is Marc Antony and Brutus is a very honorable man. No, really. Like I am his kid. Who’s mom, then?
Ally Urie-Ross: Oh good god. Even if I told you, you wouldn’t believe me.
Jimmy Smith: Jesus Christ ally what drugs are you taking? Lemme go smoke some weed and then you tell me.
Ally Urie-Ross: Oh fffff that’s not funny
Jimmy Smith: Fuck sorry
Ally Urie-Ross: It’s fine. Guess that’s kinda expected of me.
Jimmy Smith: No like I really forgot. Fuck me.
Ally Urie-Ross: Okay, okay, it’s fine. But still. You wouldn’t believe me.
Jimmy Smith: Ally you’re talking to me. I’m like fucking Spiderman or something. Try me…
Ally Urie-Ross: Okay, okay. Let’s just say you were a miracle child. Like…majorly.
Jimmy Smith: I’m Jesus, guys.
Ally Urie-Ross: Oh, shut up. I’m not telling you anything directly. I can, however, take you to meet your parents.
Jimmy Smith: You know them?
Ally Urie-Ross: They’re like my uncles. Of course I know them.
Jimmy Smith: Oh my god, Ally.
Ally Urie-Ross: Oh oops I’ve said too much
Jimmy Smith: Huh? So when can I mete these mystery parents of mine
Ally Urie-Ross: Um. Hm. You like Prince?
Jimmy Smith: Sure…jfc my French teacher is NOT my mother
Ally Urie-Ross: What?
Jimmy Smith: My French teacher is like obsessed with Prince.
Ally Urie-Ross: So are your parents, sweet lil’ dude
Jimmy Smith: Why do you fuckign call me that? On another note can ziggy stardust just get in my bed rn or something
Ally Urie-Ross: Yeah, you will know soon enough. There’s that Prince concert, remember? Unless you’d rather me invite them and you to my house for dinner…
Jimmy Smith: I dunno, it would be awkward as fuck going to a Prince concert since I’m not like a hardcore fan.
Ally Urie-Ross: Yeah, okay. It would be a nicer family reunion in my house, anyway. My dads would be happy to see you, even. Daddy’s also got this thing for cooking now. So everything works out.
Jimmy Smith: So dinner would be cool. Sides, your dads are pretty cool for emo stars. Family reunion?
Ally Urie-Ross: Yep. Family reunion.
Jimmy Smith: Well they are your uncles…wait. How the fuck does that work?
Ally Urie-Ross: Them being my uncles or your dads?
Jimmy Smith: What the fuck
Ally Urie-Ross: Yeeeah.
Jimmy Smith: Transguy dad?
Ally Urie-Ross: Nope.
Jimmy Smith: Um. What.
Ally Urie-Ross: Not even I know how that happened. Hell, they don’t even have a clue.
Jimmy Smith: Ally. What are you fucking talking about.
Ally Urie-Ross: Lol no one ever knows.
Jimmy Smith: What the fuck, Ally. If you’re shitting me, this isn’t nearly funny.
Ally Urie-Ross: I’m not that good of a bullshitter. I’m not even that creative.
Jimmy Smith: But you’re that creative.
Ally Urie-Ross: Well even if I was shitting you, y’know, I would have given up on it by now.
Jimmy Smith: Sure thing, Ally. I’ll believe it when I meet them.
Ally Urie-Ross: Okay. Well then you won’t think I’ve been shitting you for long.
Jimmy Smith: Next weekend?
Ally Urie-Ross: Yeah, I’ll work on it.
Jimmy Smith: Cool. I love going to your house.
Ally Urie-Ross: It’s awesome, isn’t it?
Jimmy Smith: Yeah, and it’s not my house.
Ally Urie-Ross: Good point.
Jimmy Smith: And your dads are really nice to me.
Ally Urie-Ross: Yeah…
Jimmy Smith: Aaand they play cool music.
Ally Urie-Ross: Well of course~
Jimmy Smith: And you have the most fucking gorgeous piano ever. I wish I knew how to play it.
Ally Urie-Ross: It is really pretty. The golden embellishment and all…well, I can’t play much, either. Like. 2 songs, maybe? And only part of those two songs. I’m learning, though.
Jimmy Smith: I can’t even play. At least I have a guitar.
Ally Urie-Ross: Guitar lessons in exchange for piano lessons? Of course, my piano skills are limited.
Jimmy Smith: Dude wicked.
Ally Urie-Ross: Sounds good, then.
Jimmy Smith: Aand more time at your place…J’aime.
Ally Urie-Ross: In that case, throw French in there, too.
Jimmy Smith: Je deteste toi. Mais…okay.