It's What Makes Me, Me

I was on my feet, they were bare and by now had glass splinters embedded in them. Jared walked me, arm around my body supporting my weight, I probably weighed a ton right now. My dress was ruined, my make up had run and my heels were broken and disposed of, my grandmother would not be happy with me.
We walked quietly, not a single word was mentioned until Andy’s voice penetrated the silence, ‘Charlie didn’t mean it you know’ ’What?’ I was caught of guard. ‘He was only upset because he thought his past was happening again’ wait now it was my turn to be shocked, ‘you shouldn’t have said that’ Alex said his first words since my mini breakdown, clearly he had recovered. All eyes fixed on me, ‘What? You get to know about my past, and yet I’m not allowed to know his’ I was screaming now, even though my mind was recovering, I was becoming more logical by the second, still the drug hadn’t fully worn off yet.
I stopped, refusing to walk another step if they wouldn’t tell me what happened to Charlie. I defiantly found the nearest bench, I wasn’t stable enough to stand my ground stood up, sitting there crossing my arms and legs caused myself great pain. Jared came and joined me on the bench his arms engulfing me in a hug whilst Andy came to sit on the other side of me, however Alex remained standing, continuously checking his mobile, apparently Gavin was on his way to find us.
‘O…’ ‘Okay I’ll tell you’ Jared’s voice cut through Andy’s as they both decided I was owed the truth. ‘Well about a year ago when Charlie first moved to this school, he was paired up with one of the popular’s a cheerleader for a project. They grew close, too close, Charlie fell in love with her and she pretended to be in love with him. She used him, found out all his secrets and feelings and used them against him, making him an outcast. She made a book about it and a web page where everyone could write down mean and hurtful things about him and destroy his life. In the end he…’ Jared’s voice trailed off so we sat in silence, I didn’t want to intrude further into Charlie’s life than they would willingly tell me, his past had undoubtedly been bad, even if not as torturous as mine he had suffered, my hatred for him drained away replaced by feelings of guilt and regret, he like me had left out important bits of his life story.
‘In the end he self harmed to such an extent he had to be hospitalized. His parents returned home to find him in the bathroom- the same one you had your breakdown in- drowning in a pool of his own blood, his wrists slit to deep for home recovery. Charlie then spent two weeks in hospital and three months in a psychiatric mental hospital, when he returned we all became friends. Then you came along and everything seemed to be going so well, then you turned popular and ‘ditched’ us to go to that party, I think he thought you were just doing the same thing to him again, he doesn’t ever want to be hurt as badly as that night again’ It was Andy who had finished the story, tears making their way down his cheeks, Jared looked as though any second he would cry too. ‘And look what they did to you at that party, how did you end up like this and here?’ Alex’s words felt like a stab to the heart he was right, I had abandoned safety for social acceptance, and now I would need to explain myself.
‘I will explain this only once so we must find Charlie first’ a hint of urgency broke through my calm demeanor, releasing from Jared’s grip just in time to turn away as blood and bile came spewing out my mouth and nose, ‘I’ve seen this before’ Jared whispered to the others, I turned I wanted to know more, ‘What is happening to me?’ pleading, I had to know. ‘You’ve been drugged, a date- rape drug. Right now you shouldn’t be able to move, talk or think clearly, so why can you? Do you have some sort of past history with this type of drug?’ Jared was calm and controlled, much less could be said about me, I returned to the bench staring at the floor, I was ashamed with myself and now I would have to tell them everything.