It's What Makes Me, Me

It was my party and none of the guys were here yet, many people were here but I still felt alone, I shouldn’t have said that about Lexii she was the only one I wanted to see but she wasn’t coming. Lexii’s image wouldn’t leave my mind; I didn’t want to think about her it still didn’t help forget.
Grasping my head, I knew I had been out of line, telling the guys her past when she didn’t even know the truth of mine. I couldn’t tell her about my history with Kelly, I had seen her scars and yet she hadn’t noticed mine, maybe if she had cared for me more then she would have seen them, I would tell her it was decided a definite in my mind, whether she wanted to or not she would know why I did what I had done? That was only if the guys didn’t explain it to her first that was the way they saw as equal, I told a past that wasn’t mine to tell and they would tell mine because it wasn’t theirs.
To think of it where had they got to, I had seen Gavin but he looked at his phone and left, am I really that boring? Jared, Alex and Andy should be here by now, they were never late for my parties, were they avoiding me as well.
I walked confidently over to the nearest, good looking girl, if I was going to do this then I was doing it properly. I grabbed a full bottle of vodka of my counter top, downing it all with out a breath; I wanted her image to leave my mind. The bottle slipped from my grip and landed on the side, luckily it was in one piece, cleaning up was a huge diversion from what I had planned. My kitchen wasn’t in too much of a state, the worse part to clean would be the back garden, bottles, cans and everything was in the pool, people lay passed out lit cigarettes slowly burning themselves out. The girl I chose had blonde hair that was straightened with bright splashes of pink through the fringe, she was pretty not hot like Lexii, and I could tell she was trying too hard to act like this. By the hand I dragged her up my large wooden staircase, past other couples and into my room; I made sure we were alone and closed the door.
As we continued kissing, her tongue playfully fought mine at the entrance to my mouth, I suddenly pictured Lexii instead of the blonde, her pure face and black curly hair drew my attention. Thinking of her as Lexii made me more determined to get with her, my hand slipped round the back of her head whilst the other snaked round her waist, until a face appeared in the background breaking my concentration.
Lexii stood there, she looked a state as Jared and Andy held her up right, Alex and Gavin collapsed laughing on the floor, what was so funny? My eyes drew back to Lexii, her dress was ripped, she was bleeding, had vomit in her hair and when I concentrated on her face, she had dried blood, vomit and tears, she was crying, why was she crying?
I would’ve asked if she had given me the chance but instead she ran, I wasn’t sure whether it was me or what I had been doing that caused that reaction. I wasn’t able to explain my actions anymore than hers, as I leapt to my feet and ran after her. I looked everywhere but she had disappeared, she couldn’t have left the house, it looked as if she couldn’t support herself and stand up or she was badly injured.