The Friendship Project

“Where is Rylee? It’s almost time to leave for dinner.” My mom asked.

I flattened out the skirt of my white sundress hoping I could blend into the chair on the deck. I don’t want to go get Rylee. I didn’t really want to get up for one. And two after we unpacked Rylee sort of disappeared almost…

“Charlotte, why don’t you go find her?” My dad asked this time.

No.

“Charlotte?”

“Yes, I’ll go check our room,” I smiled a very small smile.

I got up from the chair and started to climb up the stairs to the balcony that opened to Rylee’s and my room, and my parents.

“Rylee?” I asked opening the door.

“What?” She emerged looking quite annoyed from the closet wearing her classic pair of ripped jeans and a black bra.

“Oh sorry…” I said turning around shutting the door.

“I don’t care.” Rylee said sounding a little amused.

“Oh… right,” I turned back around. “Mom and dad were only wondering where you were. They want to go to dinner.”

“I know.” Rylee said going back into the closet.

“I’ll just tell them you aren’t ready.” I said turning back around.

“Wait!” Rylee said running back out. I turned back around kind of confused. “Charlie… I don’t have anything to wear.”

“You’re wearing something right now.” I said without thinking. Rylee started laughing… actually laughing. Was it that funny? I’m pretty sure it wasn’t that funny.

“Yeah I know.” Rylee said after a moment. “But… I don’t have anything to wear to go out to dinner in…”

“I’m sure you do,” I said walking into the closet. It was a disaster zone. Well… half a disaster zone. The right side of the closet was a scattered slightly small pile of shirts and what I could make out was a few pairs of pants.

“This is… is everything I own.” She said very quietly. She sounded so embarrassed.

“Looks like we need to go shopping,” I half smiled trying to lighten the mood.

She gave me the dirtiest look I have ever seen her give… so far. “Looks like we need to go shopping.” Rylee said looking at my side of the closet. Which was very plain colors, mostly pastels, a few floral prints. Everything was either folded neatly in stacks or hung up nicely.

“Touché.” I smiled knowing the boring state of my clothes. My mother always wished I’d buy more fun things. But I seemed to only get simple nice things. Even though I will say this because I know it. My family is such a country club family. My dad currently is wearing khaki pants, topsiders, and a white polo. While my brother is wearing the exact same thing almost but I think with a yellow polo and khaki shorts if my memory serves me correct from a few minutes ago. My mother is the slight difference in her black high wasted skirt, printed blouse, and black heels.

“I – err… I’m not good with clothes,” I said looking down at my plain white sundress.

“I just don’t want you guys to look bad because of me.” She said crossing her arms a crossed her chest.

“Oh you won’t! I mean you can borrow anything of mine!” I offered motioning to my side of the closet encouragingly.

“Ugh…” Rylee said looking at me. She bit her lip and looked at my clothes almost disgusted.

“I mean we look like the same size.” I added quickly.

“We are…” She said eyeing a tag from a pair of my pants. “Size 4.”

“Girls! What’s taking so long? We have reservations!” My our mothers voice came through the room.

“In the closet, mom,” I said and she came to the door.

“What’s going on in here? Rylee, why aren’t you ready?” She said looking around.

“Rylee doesn’t know what to wear because she is afraid of embarrassing us in her clothes because this is all of the clothes she owns.” Wow… I’m sometimes too much like my little brother.

“Thanks Charlie.” Rylee said sarcastically smiling at me. She rolled her eyes.

“Sorry.”

“Honey, don’t ever think you’ll embarrass us. We are your family, and no daughter of mine will have nothing to wear. At least you have more style then, Charlotte here.” Mom said bending down noticing a lacey black blouse from the ground.

“Hey!” I yelled and Rylee sniggered.

“Love you, darling.” She said grabbing a white skirt from my side of the closet. “That should work.”

Rylee took the clothes from her gratefully.

“Thank you!” Rylee smiled.

“That should do it,” mom smiled as Rylee began putting on the blouse. “Now we’ll go wait out front, we decided on walking tonight.” And I watched her leave from the closet and soon heard the click of the door closing.

“This works.” Rylee said and I turned around as she shrugged looking in the mirror.

“Yeah it does,” I murmured brushing my hair behind my ear suddenly feeling awkward.

“Let’s go,” she immediately said leaving the closet. I quickly followed as she grabbed her large black purse from her bed. It reminded me of mine sitting on the ground next to the chair I was sitting in on the patio.

“I have to grab my purse from the patio downstairs. I’ll meet you out front?” I said immediately going towards the door to the balcony.

“I’ll come.” Rylee said pulling the strap of her purse over her head walking toward me when it quickly fell from her hand as she hit the dresser with her hand by accident.

Everything from her purse spilled to the floor.

“Fuck.” Rylee quickly spat hastily getting to her knees grabbing everything she could as fast as she could.

“Here let me help,” I said getting on the floor.

“No, no Charlie back off I got it.” She said a little too late.

I picked up her pack of cigarettes.

“You… you smoke?” I said holding the pack almost shaking looking at them. I’ve never actually held anything close to this in my life.

“Yeah what about it?” Rylee grabbed the cigarettes from me angrily. “If you had a drunk for a mom and a dead dad you would do the same.”

“No.”

“What? You don’t think you would get into a bad habit?” Rylee looked appalled at me when I finally lifted my head.

“You don’t have a drunk for a mother and a dead father.”

“Are you joking me? Are you fucking kidding me Miss Charlotte Fucking Perfect Fitzpatrick?” Rylee spat in my face snatching up her last few things and shoving them into her purse.

“Your mom is the woman that just found you an outfit to wear so you wouldn’t be embarrassed to go out to dinner with your father, mother, little brother… and sister.” I said quietly as a few tears slipped down my cheeks. I never thought I would be called “perfect” in my own home. I hated the word. It was my least favorite word and I never wanted to hear it or speak it or think of it ever, anymore. I’m sick and tired of it. “And I am no where near ‘perfect’ Rylee!” I screamed going towards the balcony door brushing away my tears.

“More perfect then I will ever ever be!” She yelled and I again turned to her. She was on her feet going towards the other door, obviously not going with me anymore.

“I don’t believe that.” I said loud enough for her to hear but quiet enough for me to slip through the balcony door hoping she didn’t feel worthless.



Riley and I didn’t sit next to each other at the dinner. I sat in between our father and little brother, as she sat next to our mom and little brother. We didn’t want to sit directly a crossed from each other either.

It’s not like I didn’t want to. If anything I want to help her, not just because she is my sister, but also because I can tell she does feel worthless. It’s unfair for her to feel like that with such a rough past that wasn’t even her fault.

After dinner on our walk back we stopped for ice cream and walked on the beach the rest of the way. I couldn’t help but hang back and walk in stride with my dad. The only time I feel close to him is when we are here… Cape Cod, our home.

Yes, the rest of our family would probably say that Oregon is our home, but as I mentioned before this is much more my home then anywhere else. The smell of the ocean compared to the forest already made my senses tingle like nothing I’ve ever felt in Oregon. I do love Oregon, it’s where I have spent most of my growing up. But it’s nothing compared to this.

As my dad perused his iPhone I watched Junior lick his ice cream running between Rylee and our mom. He had ice cream on the corners of his mouth and he looked so at peace never allowing his mouth be bored between talking and eating his chocolate ice cream. Mom was obviously trying to get a conversation out of Rylee. Something we’ve all tried many times, but I’m the only one that was close to any sort of success. As I watched Rylee fight with herself I couldn’t help but ask my dad questions about his sister. He told me about how when they were little they were best friends. I was surprised he seemed so open to talking about it, since her daughter was now his daughter. He spoke as if it was a far off dream, and it was something that was heavily missed and thought about often. But hidden deep within him.

It wasn’t until he told me about how when they were teenagers I started to see the resemblance. Not between Rylee and her birthmother, but between my Aunt and me.

She was the perfect student, perfect grades, perfect attendance. I need to stop thinking of that word.

Then she met a boy, my Uncle. He turned her world upside down. For the better, he taught her how to have fun, how to live life. I could tell my dad had a big fondness for his brother in law. Like he truly was the brother he always wished for.

After Rylee came along it changed my Aunt. She flew into postnatal depression and no matter what my Uncle did, nothing stopped her. Because of that it started to drive him mad. Literally a little crazy. And that’s how he died. The overstress and love for my Aunt drove him to his death at his young age of a stroke.

The thoughts of my Aunt drove me crazy as I rolled around under the covers trying to fall asleep. I could hear quick breathing from Rylee’s side of the room and I knew she was still awake. I knew my switching sides and sighs wasn’t helping.

“Are you alright over there?” Rylee said quietly, unsure of her volume. And the fact she even said anything I think made it even more unsure sounding.

“Yeah… yeah just can’t sleep.” I rolled over to her side of the room opening my eyes. She was looking at me with her deep bright blue eyes. They were almost scanning me, like when you see a black cat in the darkness with bright blue eyes slinking around.

“Me either. I never go to bed this early.” Rylee commented. We haven’t spoken since our fight. But it was like it was gone. Like it still hurt like the bullet it did but no “I’m sorry’s” needed to be said, because the forgiveness was already there.

“I do,” I said quietly rolling to face the ceiling.

“Figured.” Rylee said getting out of bed and going to the closet.

“What are you doing?” I asked sitting up rubbing my eyes from the blinding light now shooting from the closet.

“Going out.” Rylee’s voice came from the small room.

“What?” I almost leapt out of bed going to the doorframe where she was already half dressed in her signature ripped skinny jeans.

“Yeah, I can’t stand being cooped up in here any longer. Plus I’ve never been away from Oregon before. I need to get out,” she said putting on her bra tucking it underneath her tank top.

“But… but what if we get caught?” I quickly said without thinking as she ripped off her tank top.

“We?” She said in complete shock.

“Well… you can’t go by yourself. I know this place like the back of my hand,” I said as she grabbed a random shirt from the floor.

“Then get dressed sis. We gonna get crazy,” she smirked chucking a pair of her jeans at me.

“Wait what do you mean?” I asked a little unsure holding the pair of pants.

“Oh don’t lie and say you didn’t see that beach concert going on up towards the pier! You know there’s going to be some beer and weed. Perfect place to light it up for the night,” she said applying some heavy black eyeliner in the mirror.

“I’ve never seen you like this.” I said slowly putting on her jeans.

“Well Charlie, I’m Rylee, nice to meet you.” She said turning around holding out her hand.

I looked at it unsure. She raised her eyebrows at me looking from her hand to me.

“I won’t get high, I won’t drink, and you will be next to me the whole time?”

“Can I get high, drink, and almost always be next to you?”

“I don’t know if I can do this. We have to either walk through the house where someone is bound to hear us. Or through the balcony where our parents bedroom is right there!” I said fingering the belt loops of her jeans.

“I am the king of sneaking out.”

“With a drunk mom?” I blurted.

“Wow, Charlie… maybe there is hope for you,” Rylee grimaced.

“I didn’t mean to… it just came out.”

“I’m rubbing off on you.”

“Are not.”

“Are too.”

“Are not.”

“Are too. It was already in your head which means you were at least thinking it.” Rylee raised her eyebrows again looking at her hand.

“I’ve been doing that my whole life.” I admitted.

“All the more reason.” She switched her grimace to a smirk raising her head.

“Fine.”

My shaky hand enveloped hers in a shake.



“Rylee are you sure about this?” I said as we neared the concert. It was getting louder and louder. The small stage was crowded with people holding up red plastic cups and you could see smoke throughout the crowd.

“Charlie, we got past our parents room so easily it was a joke. We are almost there and can’t you hear the music! I was scared it wasn’t going to be good, but it rocks!” Rylee said grabbing my arm.

“At least I am meeting the real you. It’s refreshing from your small comments.” I smiled at her.

“Yeah well, I didn’t have much to say. But now you’re entering my world,” she said just as we entered the outskirts of the crowd.

I looked down at my outfit one last time. It was like an out of body experience. I was wearing Rylee’s signature skinny ripped jeans, one of my white tank tops, a vest of Rylee’s, and flip-flops. Not to mention the black eyeliner outlining my eyes. My just below shoulder length wavy hair flowed naturally down as I wiped the sweat from nervousness on my forehead.

The smell was the first thing that hit me. It was a disgusting mixture of smoke, alcohol, and sweat. I didn’t know how to react. But then Rylee quickly grabbed my hand and dragged me through the thick crowd.

“Keep your phone with you. If we are separated for too long text me.” Rylee shouted in my ear. I nodded and then she disappeared.

I quickly looked around me and saw small groups of people all clumped together as tightly as they could next to everyone else. It was a giant mess. This was a mistake. I’m all alone in a mosh pit. Well it isn’t really a mosh pit. No one is throwing punches. At least isn’t that what happens in mosh pits?

“Hey everyone, we are going to slow it down a little bit if you don’t mind. Getting a little too hot out here if you know what I mean.”

I looked up to the stage. My breath caught in my throat as I looked at him. I couldn’t breathe. As he wiped the sweat off his forehead on the towel he quickly threw back against the floor of the stage he smiled at something the drummer said behind him. The perfect smile stayed imprinted on his face. As he turned back around his dark green eyes hit mine. It was an immediate shock that ran through my body. The sweat that was once on my forehead and his seemed to disappear as chills ran up and down my spine.

He quickly opened his mouth the speak but his lips just stayed parted as he stared at me. It was like no one else noticed that me, this girl 30 feet away from the front of the stage, and the lead singer of this band was having this… this moment? Is that what they call it?

The soft music started to play from the guitar and keyboard player. But it was as if it didn’t matter. Like it was for the background. But once the drums kicked in it was like my heartbeat. Which was completely pounding out of my chest at the moment. It was when his vocal chords finally started to work when I thought I’d faint. The heat kicked back in as he continued to eye me as he sang slow and strong.

I cocked my head slightly and took in the rest of his features. His strong build added to his decently tall height. He had wide set shoulders beneath his rolled up white collared shirt that was unbuttoned showing his black wife-beater. He had tight light wash jeans on leading to his converse. My eyes scanned his chiseled face and set in green eyes. It was mysterious underneath his light brown gentle wavy hair. It came down to the middle of his forehead where it was a little wet from sweat.

“Hey,” Rylee appeared next to me. I furrowed my eyebrows quickly as I shook my head looking at her. “So you’re what the lead singer is checking out. You’re welcome.”

“What?” I asked looking from her to the lead singer and back again. I noticed the red cup in her hand. “Found the drinks, I see.”

“Want a sip? It’s not strong. Apparently they have been having trouble with the fuzz lately. I was talking to a few people. No pot either, just cigarettes. But I’ve already got those, there’s an after party with a bonfire a little farther down closer to us where they might have some.” She said taking a sip from her cup. I eyed it.

“You learned all of that since you’ve been gone? I feel like you just left.” I asked confused.

“It’s easily been five minutes.” She laughed.

“Oh…”

“Come on… live a little?” Rylee said holding up the cup.

“Aren’t I already? You got me out!” I laughed, then shrugged. For Rylee.

I took the cup from her and took a sip.

The cool liquid burned my throat a little but didn’t taste that bad. It left a sensation in my mouth I was unsure if I liked or not. So I took another sip.

“Yeah, Charlie!” Rylee yelled.

“Oh shut up,” I said giving her the cup back. I decided to let it sit in my mouth for a little bit, to make up my mind if I like it or not… I think?

“The lead singer is still staring at you.” Rylee nudged me. “Come on lets get closer, they’re really good! Plus I want a better look at the drummer.” She smirked. “The lead singer is cute though!”

“Yeah… yeah he is. Wait where are you taking me!” I said as she took my arm and we started to worm our way through more people again. Until we were right in front of the stage. I looked up and saw him. He was right in front of me. I couldn’t move. He stared down at me as he sang and his green eyes cut through me again like it was a sheet of ice water, I loved the feeling.

“Wow…”

“Yeah… wow.”

“He is so hot! Oh why do I always fall for drummers?” Rylee sighed.

“Screw the drummer. Look at him,” I said again looking at the lead singer.

“Come on and swear a little bit. You can do it. Just say FUCK. You can do it Charlie!” Rylee screamed up as the band started to play a much more upbeat song.

“F… FUCK!” I screamed. I looked at Rylee and we started laughing hysterically.

“You need more of this,” Rylee laughed pushing her cup toward me.

“Are you kidding if 2 sips made me loosen up this much. I’m scared for what’ll happen next!” I yelled with the crowd dancing next to Rylee.

“True! Dude we are so going to the after party. How can we not when you see the lead singer staring at you like that?” She yelled as I looked up again.

He stared down at me as I danced with Rylee’s red cup in my hand. I looked into his green eyes and smirked.

I smirked.

He winked at me and I bit my lower lip hiding my blush.

Rylee again broke us out of our gaze as she took the cup from my hand and finished it off.

“Better you then me,” I laughed.

“Yeah, probably. Now Miss Charlotte, are you happy you came out tonight? Living a little?” Rylee said wrapping her arm around my shoulders. She screamed up into the sky with the crowd.

“I never knew it was this exhilarating! Thank you Rylee,” I smiled at her wrapping my arm around her waist.