Love is Pain
A Walk To The Store
It was cold as ice in the Bronx, New York this November. The light snow covered the streets. My mother had sent me off to the supermarket to get food for dinner. I was finally free of my mother! The weight was lifted off my shoulders! But I knew, that no matter where I went, I was still under her wrath.
It was a beautiful, November day and I needed to get out of the house and explore the streets before my father got home. He would surely understand my desire, I was after all his son. When I stepped down the steep stairs in front of my humble home, I felt free! But the world around me was still as mysterious as the unknown. I wanted so bad to understand everyone and everything that I encountered but it was simply too much to take in.
The crisp air burned my green eyes. The cars zooming down the street made my long, black, ratty hair shift in the wind. Before I knew it, I was stepping into the parking lot of the supermarket. I passed rows upon rows of cars. Some big and some small, some old and some new. If only my mother would let me drive, I was after all of age. I grabbed the nearest cart and entered the store. The cold handle on the cart numbed my hands. The store was large and maze like. Anyone could easily get lost in it. But luckily I had been there at least a thousand times! I began my search for supplies, when a mirror caught me off guard. I looked horrific! I was short and fragile, my clothes fading by the second. I felt weaker and weaker everyday. As I regained my thoughts, I wandered past a young couple. I grew envious! I was lonely and reserved; a freak! And even if I was beautiful like all those other girls, Theresa, my mother, would never except my happiness. The thought of my mother’s devilish grin made me stop dead in my tracks and shiver. Lost in my own thoughts, I hadn’t realized that I’d been inside the store for nearly an hour. Mother would not approve, so I hurried to the check-out line and unpacked my things. The cashier gave me a friendly greeting, but I was clueless to what had been said because time had been stopped by the man standing beside me.
My eyes were fixed on her. She was absolutely beautiful. Yet something was telling me that she didn’t see the same thing that I did. She looked to be around sixteen or so, which was perfect for me. Her green eyes had a hint of sadness stitched in them and I couldn’t help but wonder why. She looked very timid, and shy, but for some reason that drew me in more. She looked as though she hadn’t eaten in days!! I wanted so badly to speak to her. But I was bickering about it inside my mind, so much so, that I couldn’t keep any of the other thoughts straight!
I felt ridiculous! All I could help but do was stare at him! He flashed me a smile and the least I could do was smile back, but I was mesmerized. His smile was as bright as the sun. He seemed so confident and relaxed. He was tall and muscle bound. I actually had a moment of hope when I looked at him, that I might just have a chance. But then I simply unhooked my stare and grabbed my things. As I walked out of the store and into the cold, I was running through my mind how on earth I thought that I would ever have a chance with that?!? He was tall and handsome, and I was short and timid. I had nothing on any of those girls! But before I had completely exited the parking lot, I heard someone calling after me. I stopped and turned around with my bags in my arms.
My mind had finally calmed itself as I watched her walking away from the store. But the more I watched, the more I wanted her. I couldn’t just let this chance slip away! The way her small body swayed from side to side in the cold, was hypnotic. I ran out after her and screamed for her to wait. It was a little awkward because I didn’t even know her name! We hadn’t even spoken. As I looked up, I hadn’t even noticed I was looking down, I had noticed that she stopped.
He was coming after me. I had a moment of excitement, but that wore down quick in a simple ‘Ma’am, you forgot this’ thought. And in a matter of seconds I had convinced myself that that was exactly what was happening. But I as his jog turned into a giddy walk, that he hadn’t been carrying anything, and that he actually looked kind of interested in me. But that would be absurd of course! My heart was pounding in my chest. He was getting closer and closer to me. Every step he took made me want to bolt the other way!
I was finally getting closer to her. From close, up her long black hair looked messy from blowing in the wind and she had a look of confusion in her eyes; almost as if she was questioning the thought of a man coming to her. I was even questioning if I had just done a silly thing. But as I looked her up and down, I thought, it was the greatest thing ever. I would soon realize, that it truly was amazing.
“Hey, umm, I saw you in the store just a second ago. You looked kind of...lonely.”
“Uh, yeah. I guess you could say that. But I really must be heading home.”
“Um, okay.”
“Nice meeting you...?”
“Alex.”
“Carrie.”
“Nice meeting you too...Hey uh, I actually came out here to ask you a question. Um..I was wondering if maybe we could meet up some time and wander the streets of New York?..”
“That’s really nice of you, and I wish I could, but I really can’t.”
“Oh well, maybe another time then?”
“I doubt it.”
“Okaay...well, I guess I’ll see you around then.”
“Yeah...”
I stood in the parking lot watching her body, skin and bones, walk quickly and quietly back home. She really was gorgeous. Why couldn’t she see that? And the way she seemed to blush. Adorable. The curious cat in me, was getting more and more curious as she dwindled out of sight. It was clear to me, that this was the girl I wanted, and that the conversation of maybe five minutes, changed me for good because I wanted nothing more than to get to know Carrie.
As I walked out of the parking lot and turned around the cold, hidden side walk, the fire on my cheeks finally watered down. Alex was taller than I had thought and more handsome. But I could definitely see him being a very persistent person. Little did I know, I was right. His brown eyes seemed to be filled with life! If only I could be that way. But my time was now to be ruined. Thoughts to be long gone. Because I was walking up the drive way of my home.
It was a beautiful, November day and I needed to get out of the house and explore the streets before my father got home. He would surely understand my desire, I was after all his son. When I stepped down the steep stairs in front of my humble home, I felt free! But the world around me was still as mysterious as the unknown. I wanted so bad to understand everyone and everything that I encountered but it was simply too much to take in.
The crisp air burned my green eyes. The cars zooming down the street made my long, black, ratty hair shift in the wind. Before I knew it, I was stepping into the parking lot of the supermarket. I passed rows upon rows of cars. Some big and some small, some old and some new. If only my mother would let me drive, I was after all of age. I grabbed the nearest cart and entered the store. The cold handle on the cart numbed my hands. The store was large and maze like. Anyone could easily get lost in it. But luckily I had been there at least a thousand times! I began my search for supplies, when a mirror caught me off guard. I looked horrific! I was short and fragile, my clothes fading by the second. I felt weaker and weaker everyday. As I regained my thoughts, I wandered past a young couple. I grew envious! I was lonely and reserved; a freak! And even if I was beautiful like all those other girls, Theresa, my mother, would never except my happiness. The thought of my mother’s devilish grin made me stop dead in my tracks and shiver. Lost in my own thoughts, I hadn’t realized that I’d been inside the store for nearly an hour. Mother would not approve, so I hurried to the check-out line and unpacked my things. The cashier gave me a friendly greeting, but I was clueless to what had been said because time had been stopped by the man standing beside me.
My eyes were fixed on her. She was absolutely beautiful. Yet something was telling me that she didn’t see the same thing that I did. She looked to be around sixteen or so, which was perfect for me. Her green eyes had a hint of sadness stitched in them and I couldn’t help but wonder why. She looked very timid, and shy, but for some reason that drew me in more. She looked as though she hadn’t eaten in days!! I wanted so badly to speak to her. But I was bickering about it inside my mind, so much so, that I couldn’t keep any of the other thoughts straight!
I felt ridiculous! All I could help but do was stare at him! He flashed me a smile and the least I could do was smile back, but I was mesmerized. His smile was as bright as the sun. He seemed so confident and relaxed. He was tall and muscle bound. I actually had a moment of hope when I looked at him, that I might just have a chance. But then I simply unhooked my stare and grabbed my things. As I walked out of the store and into the cold, I was running through my mind how on earth I thought that I would ever have a chance with that?!? He was tall and handsome, and I was short and timid. I had nothing on any of those girls! But before I had completely exited the parking lot, I heard someone calling after me. I stopped and turned around with my bags in my arms.
My mind had finally calmed itself as I watched her walking away from the store. But the more I watched, the more I wanted her. I couldn’t just let this chance slip away! The way her small body swayed from side to side in the cold, was hypnotic. I ran out after her and screamed for her to wait. It was a little awkward because I didn’t even know her name! We hadn’t even spoken. As I looked up, I hadn’t even noticed I was looking down, I had noticed that she stopped.
He was coming after me. I had a moment of excitement, but that wore down quick in a simple ‘Ma’am, you forgot this’ thought. And in a matter of seconds I had convinced myself that that was exactly what was happening. But I as his jog turned into a giddy walk, that he hadn’t been carrying anything, and that he actually looked kind of interested in me. But that would be absurd of course! My heart was pounding in my chest. He was getting closer and closer to me. Every step he took made me want to bolt the other way!
I was finally getting closer to her. From close, up her long black hair looked messy from blowing in the wind and she had a look of confusion in her eyes; almost as if she was questioning the thought of a man coming to her. I was even questioning if I had just done a silly thing. But as I looked her up and down, I thought, it was the greatest thing ever. I would soon realize, that it truly was amazing.
“Hey, umm, I saw you in the store just a second ago. You looked kind of...lonely.”
“Uh, yeah. I guess you could say that. But I really must be heading home.”
“Um, okay.”
“Nice meeting you...?”
“Alex.”
“Carrie.”
“Nice meeting you too...Hey uh, I actually came out here to ask you a question. Um..I was wondering if maybe we could meet up some time and wander the streets of New York?..”
“That’s really nice of you, and I wish I could, but I really can’t.”
“Oh well, maybe another time then?”
“I doubt it.”
“Okaay...well, I guess I’ll see you around then.”
“Yeah...”
I stood in the parking lot watching her body, skin and bones, walk quickly and quietly back home. She really was gorgeous. Why couldn’t she see that? And the way she seemed to blush. Adorable. The curious cat in me, was getting more and more curious as she dwindled out of sight. It was clear to me, that this was the girl I wanted, and that the conversation of maybe five minutes, changed me for good because I wanted nothing more than to get to know Carrie.
As I walked out of the parking lot and turned around the cold, hidden side walk, the fire on my cheeks finally watered down. Alex was taller than I had thought and more handsome. But I could definitely see him being a very persistent person. Little did I know, I was right. His brown eyes seemed to be filled with life! If only I could be that way. But my time was now to be ruined. Thoughts to be long gone. Because I was walking up the drive way of my home.