Love is Pain
A Slight Obsession
I walked inside the house and immediately went straight to the kitchen. As I began to unpack my groceries, I realized how small the house was. It was smaller than a snake hole! My thoughts were interrupted by my mothers crackling voice.
“What took you so long?”
I stared down at the dirty, rusty floor without an answer.
“Ignoring me, are we?”
Her heavy set body approached me slowly. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted that her hair was up. Which could only mean that today would be a rough day. Her hand gently brushed my hair and I readied myself for the upcoming pain. She then ripped my head back with my hair in hand, and began to whisper in my ear.
“You know, when you disobey me, you must be punished.”
I could feel the tears begin to build up in my eyes. The fear of my mother had gotten worse over the years because the punishments did, as well. She then jerked my head into my chest and walked away gracefully.
She was so angry inside, but I could never understand why. She had beautiful blue eyes and silky auburn hair. She even had a significant amount of money from relatives that have passed away. When she left the house she wore long wavy dresses and had a bragging personality. People seemed to actually be jealous of her! If only they could see the real Theresa.
I continued to restore the refrigerator after blinking away my tears. But those tears began to come back when I opened the fridge to a horrid stench! It was atrocious!! As I started to search for the stench, a thought of Alex popped into my head. I was hearing his voice; our conversation.
As I walked down the street with my water at hand, Carrie was on my mind. She was a bug trap and I was a bug. She seemed to easily zap me away, while she left me hanging there in confusion; curious as to my mistakes and her thoughts. But I had nothing to feed off of. Women these days, they were something mysterious. But Carrie wasn’t just any woman...She was the woman I wanted and that I was going to get. When I got home, I would have to tell my dad. So I gulped down my water and quickened my pace.
After I watched my mother scarf down her dinner, I cleaned the dishes. She had stated that my punishment was to have dinner taken away from me that night. I also had to sit there and watch her enjoy it. But watching her eat made me loose my appetite more and more; I felt sick! Little did she know, I had snuck a bag of M&M’s while I was in the store. They were delicious!! But they were long gone now, it had been nearly 3 hours. The store brought back memories. A guy had actually been attracted to me; a real guy! Not just one of a fantasy!
I was watching the soap suds erupt from the sponge and slide down the dishes like an avalanche. It was actually quite comical. Considering that I don’t get out much, anything normal to other people was exciting to me. The flowers blowing in the wind even seemed like a miracle. People easily over-looked things like that, but I cherished the moments like those. Because every night I felt that I was getting closer and closer to the end of my life. Mother lead me to believe that nearly every night.
“Leave the poor girl alone! You probably frightened her! Who chases after someone they don’t even know to ask them if they could maybe hang out?”
“Well in this case I do. And she’s not just some person! She’s a wonderful woman.”
“You don’t know that! You haven’t even had a full-on, normal conversation with her. She could be an insane human being that needs serious help!”
Watching my father’s black, curly-fry mustache had always amused me as a child. But now it was just making my anger flare. Carrie was not an insane person who needed help. That was as clear as the sky to me. I was really looking for some support from my father, but his poker face showed me no signs. On a normal day I could pick out the signs, but there really seemed to be none. I had simply rolled my eyes at my father, Ben, and walked silently to my room and shut the door.
That look in her eyes scared me. I knew something was soon to come. I hated that look, and the anticipation of it all was always worse than the pain. Mother had to have had at least ten drinks and her eyes had an evil, glassy look to them. Plus the television was blaring. Instead of just sitting there watching her, I decided to go and take a bath.
As I lay in bed, I wondered if she was thinking about me like I was thinking about her, or if I was just another blurry face. As I thought about Carrie, I pictured her sad eyes looking into mine. I was so curious as to why she seemed so sad! She was a beautiful girl, what could possibly be so bad? I wanted to be the man that she trusted, the man she could lean on. But that obviously wasn’t going to happen. To her I was nothing, but to me, she was everything. I guess I’d have to just forget her, make her another face in the crowd. But I knew that no matter how badly I wished for that to happen, that it just wouldn’t work.
“What took you so long?”
I stared down at the dirty, rusty floor without an answer.
“Ignoring me, are we?”
Her heavy set body approached me slowly. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted that her hair was up. Which could only mean that today would be a rough day. Her hand gently brushed my hair and I readied myself for the upcoming pain. She then ripped my head back with my hair in hand, and began to whisper in my ear.
“You know, when you disobey me, you must be punished.”
I could feel the tears begin to build up in my eyes. The fear of my mother had gotten worse over the years because the punishments did, as well. She then jerked my head into my chest and walked away gracefully.
She was so angry inside, but I could never understand why. She had beautiful blue eyes and silky auburn hair. She even had a significant amount of money from relatives that have passed away. When she left the house she wore long wavy dresses and had a bragging personality. People seemed to actually be jealous of her! If only they could see the real Theresa.
I continued to restore the refrigerator after blinking away my tears. But those tears began to come back when I opened the fridge to a horrid stench! It was atrocious!! As I started to search for the stench, a thought of Alex popped into my head. I was hearing his voice; our conversation.
As I walked down the street with my water at hand, Carrie was on my mind. She was a bug trap and I was a bug. She seemed to easily zap me away, while she left me hanging there in confusion; curious as to my mistakes and her thoughts. But I had nothing to feed off of. Women these days, they were something mysterious. But Carrie wasn’t just any woman...She was the woman I wanted and that I was going to get. When I got home, I would have to tell my dad. So I gulped down my water and quickened my pace.
After I watched my mother scarf down her dinner, I cleaned the dishes. She had stated that my punishment was to have dinner taken away from me that night. I also had to sit there and watch her enjoy it. But watching her eat made me loose my appetite more and more; I felt sick! Little did she know, I had snuck a bag of M&M’s while I was in the store. They were delicious!! But they were long gone now, it had been nearly 3 hours. The store brought back memories. A guy had actually been attracted to me; a real guy! Not just one of a fantasy!
I was watching the soap suds erupt from the sponge and slide down the dishes like an avalanche. It was actually quite comical. Considering that I don’t get out much, anything normal to other people was exciting to me. The flowers blowing in the wind even seemed like a miracle. People easily over-looked things like that, but I cherished the moments like those. Because every night I felt that I was getting closer and closer to the end of my life. Mother lead me to believe that nearly every night.
“Leave the poor girl alone! You probably frightened her! Who chases after someone they don’t even know to ask them if they could maybe hang out?”
“Well in this case I do. And she’s not just some person! She’s a wonderful woman.”
“You don’t know that! You haven’t even had a full-on, normal conversation with her. She could be an insane human being that needs serious help!”
Watching my father’s black, curly-fry mustache had always amused me as a child. But now it was just making my anger flare. Carrie was not an insane person who needed help. That was as clear as the sky to me. I was really looking for some support from my father, but his poker face showed me no signs. On a normal day I could pick out the signs, but there really seemed to be none. I had simply rolled my eyes at my father, Ben, and walked silently to my room and shut the door.
That look in her eyes scared me. I knew something was soon to come. I hated that look, and the anticipation of it all was always worse than the pain. Mother had to have had at least ten drinks and her eyes had an evil, glassy look to them. Plus the television was blaring. Instead of just sitting there watching her, I decided to go and take a bath.
As I lay in bed, I wondered if she was thinking about me like I was thinking about her, or if I was just another blurry face. As I thought about Carrie, I pictured her sad eyes looking into mine. I was so curious as to why she seemed so sad! She was a beautiful girl, what could possibly be so bad? I wanted to be the man that she trusted, the man she could lean on. But that obviously wasn’t going to happen. To her I was nothing, but to me, she was everything. I guess I’d have to just forget her, make her another face in the crowd. But I knew that no matter how badly I wished for that to happen, that it just wouldn’t work.