Don't Try to Stop Me
Chapter 1
Wendy often dreamed of fairy tales, recalling the memories of her youth to cling to, but quickly they were all slipping away. They used to mean the world to her; each adventure, each battle, each victory, every happy ending… They now were slowly bringing her further into what she was trying to escape. Because she knew they were only the dreams of a child, and she couldn’t dream that way anymore; it only made her long for them and that only made her hurt so much more.
This pain inspired the jar Wendy kept on her windowsill at night to let the moon bathe it in its mighty glow. It was in this jar that Wendy kept every one of her dreams. As a new one entered her brain, to paper it was transported, and from there it was placed in the jar. Every wishful thought or idea was kept there to be kept out of her mind.
Wendy glimpsed down at her collection, wondering which dreams she had forgotten in that glass jar. The moon returned to her window that night and with its full brightness caused the jar to sparkle along with every dream inside it. She had the window open, trying to let the fresh air rid her of her illness.
The light wind blew the curtains around her, while the moon let its light in to create the glow that made her long for those dreams so much more. The reason being, as the days passed, she had begun to feel even further from what she wanted the most.
In her nightgown, she rested her hand on her thigh, feeling the tenderness of the bruised skin hidden underneath. No one saw and no one felt the pain she endured daily. That’s all she wanted, a release from the pain…
The night was cloudless and the moon cast shadows all over her room. She picked up the jar and stood with it, but at that simple motion a sharp pain tore through her lower stomach. As a tear escaped her, she doubled over at the sudden wave of agony and, while gasping, dropped the precious jar.
She didn’t move. She couldn’t shift her place in the slightest way; a result of the combination of pain and shock. Around her, there were the shards of glittering glass, almost like sad stars scattered across her floor. Each star a reminder of every broken dream that crashed to the ground just the same as the jar.
The lid had landed at her feet and she, through her pain and tears, saw one shard of glass that was large enough to hold. It was the second to the right of the metal lid, and she fell to her knees to grab it. This was the only way to save herself. It seemed like intuition to pick up the glass and make herself bleed away until there was nothing left, until she could disappear, until her pain, her presence, and her existence was finally forgotten.
She looked around the room she once shared with her brothers, remembering the nights she would spend telling them stories of pirates, fairies, princesses and heroic knights that came to save the day… Wendy’s tearful eyes gazed over the shadows on the walls. They were like symbolic memories, just shadows on the life she used to live.
She knew she couldn’t turn around. She couldn’t face the creator of all the shadows surrounding her; Wendy could not look at the moon for the last time. She pressed the glass to her wrist and whispered the words. “Goodnight, moon. Goodbye…”
The pain dragged over her wrists spreading up her arms. The shadows began fading and all she could hear was the wind blowing behind her, just a faint whisper of the moon wishing her a final goodnight.
~
“Wendy, please, wake up. You broke your promise... You told me you’d never say goodbye, that you’d never forget, but that’s okay. I’m here anyway. I still kept my promise. Wake up, Wendy. You have to remember somewhere in you… Wendy?”
She felt herself being pulled awake by the sound of his voice. The voice was familiar, but completely unknown to her. She mumbled, attempting to speak, but was unable to move.
“Wendy, please remember me…”
That’s all she had to grasp of him, a voice, before she faded back into the darkness he had awoken her from.
This pain inspired the jar Wendy kept on her windowsill at night to let the moon bathe it in its mighty glow. It was in this jar that Wendy kept every one of her dreams. As a new one entered her brain, to paper it was transported, and from there it was placed in the jar. Every wishful thought or idea was kept there to be kept out of her mind.
Wendy glimpsed down at her collection, wondering which dreams she had forgotten in that glass jar. The moon returned to her window that night and with its full brightness caused the jar to sparkle along with every dream inside it. She had the window open, trying to let the fresh air rid her of her illness.
The light wind blew the curtains around her, while the moon let its light in to create the glow that made her long for those dreams so much more. The reason being, as the days passed, she had begun to feel even further from what she wanted the most.
In her nightgown, she rested her hand on her thigh, feeling the tenderness of the bruised skin hidden underneath. No one saw and no one felt the pain she endured daily. That’s all she wanted, a release from the pain…
The night was cloudless and the moon cast shadows all over her room. She picked up the jar and stood with it, but at that simple motion a sharp pain tore through her lower stomach. As a tear escaped her, she doubled over at the sudden wave of agony and, while gasping, dropped the precious jar.
She didn’t move. She couldn’t shift her place in the slightest way; a result of the combination of pain and shock. Around her, there were the shards of glittering glass, almost like sad stars scattered across her floor. Each star a reminder of every broken dream that crashed to the ground just the same as the jar.
The lid had landed at her feet and she, through her pain and tears, saw one shard of glass that was large enough to hold. It was the second to the right of the metal lid, and she fell to her knees to grab it. This was the only way to save herself. It seemed like intuition to pick up the glass and make herself bleed away until there was nothing left, until she could disappear, until her pain, her presence, and her existence was finally forgotten.
She looked around the room she once shared with her brothers, remembering the nights she would spend telling them stories of pirates, fairies, princesses and heroic knights that came to save the day… Wendy’s tearful eyes gazed over the shadows on the walls. They were like symbolic memories, just shadows on the life she used to live.
She knew she couldn’t turn around. She couldn’t face the creator of all the shadows surrounding her; Wendy could not look at the moon for the last time. She pressed the glass to her wrist and whispered the words. “Goodnight, moon. Goodbye…”
The pain dragged over her wrists spreading up her arms. The shadows began fading and all she could hear was the wind blowing behind her, just a faint whisper of the moon wishing her a final goodnight.
~
“Wendy, please, wake up. You broke your promise... You told me you’d never say goodbye, that you’d never forget, but that’s okay. I’m here anyway. I still kept my promise. Wake up, Wendy. You have to remember somewhere in you… Wendy?”
She felt herself being pulled awake by the sound of his voice. The voice was familiar, but completely unknown to her. She mumbled, attempting to speak, but was unable to move.
“Wendy, please remember me…”
That’s all she had to grasp of him, a voice, before she faded back into the darkness he had awoken her from.