Jasey Rae.

Alex and his parents freaked out, like I thought they would, when I told them I was pregnant. Me and Alex had just gotten engaged last week, although we didn’t expect to get married for a while. Of course, I had to ruin the plans our parents had for our futures. I wasn’t the perfect daughter anymore. No, Katie was, because she had waited until she was married to have sex.

See, me and my parents clashed non-stop. They wanted me to be like my older sister – a straight A student, dress like a girl, no tattoos, no piercings besides the ears, and most definitely no boys. They wanted to be able to choose my friends and pick the guy I married.

I had other thoughts about this though. I was the complete opposite of Katie. I had long straight black hair that had red stripes from where I’d dyed it. I was taller than her. On my sixteenth birthday I forged a note saying I could get my lip pierced. For my eighteenth birthday I got the “All Time Low Skull and Crossbones” tattooed on my wrist. And as for the boys part? Well I’ve been dating Alex on and off since 8th grade and I lost my virginity at the tender age of 17, just over 2 years ago.

My parents had gotten tired of my rebellious ways by the time I was 18, and kicked me out. So me and Alex now live in his parents basement – when he’s home. He’s gone 10 out of 12 months a year and he’s getting ready to go on a 4 month long tour. I’m laying on our bed crying because of the way he reacted. There was a knock on the door.

“Haylee” he sighed opening the door. He came over and got down in front of me with a sad and worried look in his eyes.

“Fuck off Alex” I muttered.

“I’m sorry, I flipped on you, Haylee. It’s just – we’re nineteen. I’m gone all the time. I don’t know how we can do this” he said.

“And you think I do? Alex, I don’t even know how this happened. I’m on birth control. And we use protection every time.” I said. He looked down at me before smiling softly. I scooted over so he could lay on our bed with me.

“Well there was that one time.” He said, “right after I came home from the tour and since we hadn’t been having sex, you were off your pill. I didn’t expect to sleep with you that night so I didn’t have condoms. That could’ve been it” he said.

“But that was 5 months ago, ‘Lex. That would mean, I would be getting ready to have this baby when you got back this time.” I said.

“Did the doctor tell you when you were due?” he said.

“No, he just told me come back today and get an ultrasound if I couldn’t figure when the baby was conceived” I said.

“Well let’s go. Because this going to kill me if I don’t know before I leave tomorrow” he said., pulling me up and driving to the doctor’s office.

“Can I help you?” the rather rude secretary asked us.

“Um yeah. I’m Haylee James, I’m here for an ultrasound” I said. She led me back and we waited for the tech. And when she came in, she looked at me and Alex before smiling.

“Newlyweds, or newly engaged.” she said.

“Newly engaged.” I said . She smiled again and told me to lift my shirt up so she could put the gel stuff on. After a minute she found the heartbeat of our child and let us listen before talking.

“I’m surprised you’re not showing yet. It’s a good size baby for almost six months, and you’re a pretty small woman. It’s probably the way the baby is laying, so don’t worry. Some lay farther back But since you’re almost six months, I can tell you the sex” she said. I looked at Alex and he gave me a hopeful look.

“Sure” I said.

“It’s a girl” she said. Once we left – ultrasound pictures in hand, we just drove around.

“She’ll be born in December” I said after minutes of quiet.

“If I did the math right, December 28th is your due date” he said. I smiled at him before he took my hand.

“I really don’t want to leave you now.” he said.

“It’s just a tour, we can talk and text on a daily basis. If you’re not here when she’s born. I will call you. But the idea of raising a baby in your parent’s basement isn’t appealing.” I said.

“I know. And since, I trust you to take pictures – I’m leaving you to look for a house for us.” he said. I smiled before I looked at him solemnly.

“She needs a name.” I said. He pulled into the parking lot at the highschool before he looked at me.

“We always said we were going to name our first daughter Jasey Rae” He said. I grinned at him. I had forgotten that he had said that to me when we lost our virginity.

“Let’s do it.” I said.

3 months and two weeks to the day. Today is Alex’s birthday, but I’m sitting in the hospital instead of calling him. My blood pressure shot up last night and they’re trying to get it down, but it’s not working and it looks like I’m going to have to have a C-Section because it isn’t safe for me to be pregnant any longer. Isobel is sitting in the room with me. We’ve gotten a lot closer since Alex left and I found out I was pregnant. I’m waiting for them to come get me for my surgery when he phone rang.

“It’s Alex.” She said before hitting the answer button “Hello?”

“Hey mom, is Haylee where I can talk to her, I’m worried because I can’t get a hold of her” he said. “We’re home for the holidays then we have to go back on tour. And your car wasn’t at home so”

“Alex calm down, she’s right here. I’ll let her explain what’s going on” she said handing me the phone.

“Hey” I said.

“Are you okay? Is Jasey okay?” he said.

“My blood pressure went up last night, they said it was pre-eclampsia. So they’re doing a C-Section in about 20 minutes. Some birthday huh?” I said.

“Fuck, and the day I come home too. Listen, I’m on my way.” He said. “If I don’t get there before they take you back, I love you.”

Alex arrived ten minutes before I was taken back, so I could talk to him before hand. I told him I had bought us a house and I gave him the address so if he wanted he could go change, but he told me he wasn’t leaving until me and Jasey were both safe again. When they came in to take me back, they told him that they’d be back for him. He sat beside me as our daughter was delivered and handed to him. He didn’t cry until we got back in the room. She had the bluest eyes and we didn’t know where she got them from until Alex got his wallet out and found the 3 year old picture of him and his brother, taken 3 weeks before he killed himself. That’s when we noticed that she had his brothers eyes.

When Jasey was a week old, on Christmas morning. I walked past the nursery and noticed Alex sitting in there with the rocking chair singing “lullabies.” I walked in the room and noticed Alex was holding his daughter close to him.

“Hey, you okay ‘Lex?” I said.

“Yeah. I haven’t been this emotional since, you know” he said. I gave him a kiss.

“He would have loved her, ‘Lex” I said. “And you know it. If he was still here, he would be telling you he was proud of you because you always said you were afraid of commitment. Now look at you, 20 and a dad.” He nodded and I went downstairs to start cooking, because we were having our family over here for Christmas dinner. After it was in the oven, I walked back upstairs. Alex was still in Jasey’s room holding her. But he was being quieter than usual. I smiled before continuing into our room. When I went to check on him, he was just sitting there, with her in his arms singing softly. I stood there for a good ten minutes before I started to walk out of the room to go check on the food. That’s when I heard him start talking to Jasey.

“Jasey. You had an uncle, you know? I know you’re too little to understand what I’m saying to you, but. His name was Daniel and he was my older brother. He used to tease me because I was afraid of commitment, but I think it was just to hide the fact he wasn’t ready to be an adult. But I loved him no matter what. I part of me died when he died. He would have loved you, baby. You wouldn’t have had to worry because he, no doubt, would have been there when I couldn’t.” He said to our now sleeping little girl. I sat on the stairs and started crying. His words made me realize I needed to make up with my sister. I needed to tell her I loved her. That’s when Alex came out of the room holding her.

“Are you okay, Hay?” he said. I shook my head.

“I heard what you just said to Jasey about Daniel. It made me realize I need to make up with Katie because she’s my sister and no matter what, I’m going to need her.” I said.

“Go talk to her, then. Hays. I don’t want you to end up not having a sibling because you won’t talk to them. Mine is dead, you still have Katie and James and Lucas. They’re your siblings.” he said. I nodded and took Jasey.

“I’m going to talk to Katie. And invite them over for dinner” I said. He nodded, agreeing he’d stay here with the food. I took the baby girl out of the house and put her in the car before driving to my sisters home. I knocked on the door hoping she’d answer because I didn’t want Jasey to get cold. Luckily, she did and let me in.

“So, what’s up?” She said.

“Today, I was walking out of Jasey’s room and Alex started talking to her about Daniel. It made me realize that I needed to make up with you because you’re my older sister and no matter what, I’m going to need you” I said, starting to cry a little bit.

“Oh, Haylee. Don’t cry. I know you just had a baby and your hormones are out of wack but listen to me, I could never ever hate you. You’re my baby sister. You’re always going to need me and I’m always going to need you. I know mom and dad made you seem like such a bad person, but I knew you were just trying to be yourself. I love you Haylee. Please don’t ever forget that.” she said. I sniffed before I got Jasey out of her carrier. I handed her too her.

“She looks like Alex.” she said. I nodded.

“I think Alex see’s a lot of Dan in her, that’s why he cries all the time.” I said.

“Can I tell you something? I told mom and dad that Danny was Michael’s. He’s not. Michael knows it and accepts it. I slept with Daniel before he died, you know? He was the first guy that made me feel good about myself. When he died and I found out I was having a boy, I knew I had to name my son after him. So his name is Daniel Alexander. Because of his uncle and his father” she said. I laughed before hugging her and inviting her to dinner.

[=Team=]

June. Fathers day. Jasey is 6 months old and I’m holding her while they do a fathers day show. I smile as Alex calls me and Katie out on stage. She’s holding now 3 year old Danny on her hip.

“Okay so this is my fiancé Haylee and our daughter Jasey. And this is her sister Katie, and her son, Daniel Alexander. And there’s a meaning to why I have them both out here. You see, Daniel here is the only child of my brother Daniel. So this Father’s Day, I’m singing this song for Daniel. Because I know he’s watching down on me and watching me be the best fucking Uncle this little boy can have.” Alex said. Jack started playing Lullabies. And before Alex started singing, he talked again.

“One last thing. When my daughter was a week old, I sat in the nursery and sang this to her everyday.” he started singing after that. When he was down, he had tears in his eyes. He got down on the three year olds level and Danny ran over to give him a hug and said in his little voice “Don’t cry Uncle Awex. Daddy wouldn’t want you to be sad” before he followed his mother off stage.

“This is our last song for you guys. It’s a country song, but I’ve come to find that it’s true for me and it will always be true. Maybe some of you have heard it. It’s called “Cleaning This Gun(Come On In Boy)” by Rodney Atkins.” He said and they started playing.. I laughed because Alex took Jasey from me half through the song and he had his cockiest grin when he finished the song.

“Thank you, Baltimore. And good afternoon. Go do something with your dads” he said before he exited the stage.