In Love With a Stripper

(Jynx’s POV)

I swung my leg around the poll and swept my other leg to follow so that I was hanging upside down on it. Then I slowly let my body slide to the floor. It was my first night working at Ruby’s without Robbi and I was so uncomfortable it wasn’t funny. I mean sure I had Babs, but she wasn’t Robbi.

Gerard was still trying his hardest to get me to quit, but I still didn’t want to. I mean I wanted to, but not until I had another job and definitely not till after Robbi was ready to quit. We keep having the same fight over and over again. I really think its tearing us apart and I hate it. Robbi’s called me from California every morning just to check on me. I can tell she’s hiding something from me though. I think I know what it is, but I refuse to force her to tell me. She’ll tell me when she’s ready.

I stood up as the song came to an end and collected my tips. The money was still good, and most times so was the company. As I started off stage someone called me over. I couldn’t see the face cause of the lights. I didn’t care who was calling me anyways. They all knew now who I was dating and a lot of them thought they had a chance. I’d tried many times to dispel that belief, but they just see it as a challenge. I walked off the stage and then out back into the dressing room ignoring the voice that was calling me. I stashed away my tips and then headed out to work the floor. I still had about an hour left before I could go home.

I walked over to a few tables asking if they wanted drinks and then taking their orders. A few men smacked me on the ass, but most of them already knew not to ask me for a lap dance or a private dance. I’d stopped doing those a long time ago. Now I just danced on stage. Some times Ruby asked me to dance twice. It was always a full house when I was there and they all expected a show. Finally it was time for me to go home. I went in the back and changed my clothes quickly then headed out front where Gerard was waiting for me.

Well where Gerard was supposed to be waiting for me. I stepped outside expecting to see him standing next to his car waiting but he wasn’t there and nor was his truck. I stood there for a minute not really knowing what to do. I mean he’d never been late picking me up.

“Hey what are you still doing here?” Michael one of the bouncers asked. He was always the one to look out for me when I was still doing private dances. I thought of him as a friend.

“Gerard isn’t here,” I said walking over to a nearby bench.

“You shouldn’t be out here alone,” he said sitting beside me. “Especially with the whole Jared thing going on,”

“Yeah thanks, but I really don’t want to go back in there though,” I said pointing to the door.

“Yeah I get you. Why don’t you quit? I mean you have a rich boyfriend,” He said taking out a cigarette and lighting it.

“Cause I don’t want people to think I’m a gold digger and I don’t want Robbi to work here alone.”

“Why do you care what people think I mean you do know you’re a stripper right?” I looked at him and rolled my eyes.

“Not cause I want to be. I just want to be able to say that I make my own money so when…” I stopped myself.

“When what?”

“When Gerard gets tired of me, I’ll have something to fall back on,” he burst out laughing. “What so funny?”

“You really think Gerard’s going to let you go?” he said looking at me. “I mean think about it. First off you’re a stripper. For most guys that’s a red flag and they will automatically run the other way or fuck you and leave you cause they think that’s what you want. They don’t think of you as the girl they would take home to mom. You’re just the girl he’s with that one night and if your good he’ll come and see you dance again. Second is that a ring I see on your finger. A guy who plans on leaving doesn’t give diamonds. Third if he was going to leave you he would have already done it,” I smiled at him.

“Thanks Michael I needed to hear that.”

“No problem, we’ve been sitting out here for a while. Why don’t you call Gerard and see where he is,” I pulled out my phone hit two and the phone dialed Gerard’s number. No one answered. Now I was starting to get a little worried.

“No answer?” he asked. I shook my head.

“Nope,”

“Look why don’t I just give you a ride home for tonight?”

“Okay,” I said. I knew Michael well enough that I trusted him with my address. I’d learned from what happened with Jared not to trust everyone, but Michael was cool. We got into his pickup truck and he drove off toward Jersey. Gerard and I had moved back home after he had a complete security over haul of the house and a gate put up around it. We talked the whole way there and I opened the gate long enough for me to walk though. I said goodbye to him there and walked up to the house. It was only about twenty feet. I opened the door and disarmed the alarm.

“Gerard!” I called putting my bag by the door. I looked through the whole house. It was three AM where the hell was he? Finally I gave up, took a quick shower and crawled into our bed alone. Maybe he was still at the studio, but he usually called if he was going to be there so late and he never missed picking me up after work. I took a deep breath trying to calm my fears.

This was the first time I was home alone and I didn’t like it. The house was too big. There were too many places that people could hide. I hugged the pillow and closed my eyes hoping to fall asleep. I tossed and turned for a little while. Then just lay there staring at the ceiling.

“Jynx!” Gerard yelled. “Jynx baby you here?” I sat up in bed and waited for him to check our room. It only took about two minutes before he was standing in our bedroom door. “Baby I’m so sorry.”

“Where the fuck were you Gerard?” I yelled.

“I got caught up helping my mother with something…” he said walking over to sit next to me on the bed.

“At 3AM?” He was lying. We could always tell when the other was lying.

“I swear baby I came after you were gone and I asked Ruby where you were she said you had already left. So I flew here as fast as I could to make sure you were okay. I promise next time something like this happens I’ll call or have one of the guys pick you up…”

“Why didn’t you call me. I sat there worried sick for an hour.”

“You were waiting out side the club? Did Jared show up? Why didn’t you wait inside?” he said all of a sudden getting mad at me.

“I would have known to wait inside if you had called and I didn’t wait alone I waited with Michael there, but I wouldn‘t have had to wait at all if you had showed up like you were supposed to.”

“Baby…”

“No stop calling me baby and stop lying to me. You always call me out on my lies now I’m calling you on yours. Why were you out till…”

“I can’t tell you,” He said looking at his hands. I wanted to ask if he’d found someone else, but the answer scared me “Jynx I’m really sorry,” he said kissing me quickly. “I’m going to take a quick shower then I’ll come to bed okay,” I didn’t say anything and we just stood there staring at each other.

He’s cheating on me. That’s the only thing I could think of that would keep him and he smelled like a girl. I mean I’ve smelt Alica’s perfumes I’ve even smelt Frank’s girlfriend Nonnie’s perfume and none of them smelled like that. What am I going to do? I love him and I’ve given him every part of me and now he’s tired of me.

I knew it was going to happen, but he gave me false hope it wouldn’t and now here I am just letting it happen. I’ve always said that if I met a man no matter how much I loved him if he was cheating on me I would leave him no questions asked, but with him its more complicated I love him more than anything. I couldn’t deal with that tonight. I crawled out of the bed and went to leave the room. He grabbed my arm as I walked past.

“Jynx where are you going?”

“I’m going to sleep in the guest room,”

“Baby don’t come on back to bed.” he said in a pleading voice.

“Gerard I can’t not tonight.”

“Jynx I’m…Just please trust me. I can’t tell you where I was tonight and I’m sorry that I wasn’t there to pick you up. I’m sorry I made you worry.” He wrapped me in his arms and I quickly pushed him away.

“No Gerard you can sleep in here,” Then I pushed past him anyway and went into the guest room closing the door behind me. I crawled into the bed and buried my face in the pillow. I was losing him and I didn’t know how to fix it.

This wasn’t the first time he wasn’t where he was supposed to be. Just yesterday I called the studio looking for him. I was only going to ask what he wanted for dinner, but they said he wasn’t even there. I lay there staring at the ceiling for what felt like a long time. I wanted to fight for him, but I didn’t even know what I was up against. I heard the door creak open and closed my eyes so I could act like I was sleeping.

“Jynx?” he whispered crawling into bed.

“What?” I said turning my back to him. He pulled me against his body.

“You do know I love you right?” he asked kissing my neck. “Please just trust me?” I didn’t say anything I just lay there quiet until sleep took over.