I'm Scared

I’m tired of pretending, I tried so hard to fake laughter.
I want to stop acting like nothing is wrong.
But I’m scared. What if no one even bother to ask why I’m changing? What if they silently hating the new me, the real me, and what if they slowly pushing me away because I’m not who I used to be?
I’m not the person who I was. I’m not the girl who babble about everything anymore, I’m not the girl with a bunch of stupid jokes everyday anymore, I’m not the girl who can make everyone laugh with my silly words anymore.
I, somehow, just want to sit down in silence.
But at the same time, I’m afraid of losing my friends. So I fight, I fight the real me to be the old me. I need the funny side of me back. I tried to go back, but no, I just can’t.
I just want to tell you, I want to tell you that I’m scared.