‹ Prequel: So Much
Second Chance
two.
Matt pulled the car into the parking lot of the Huntington Beach Cemetery. Parking the car he took a shallow breath to calm the nerves that, for reasons unknown to him, appeared every time he would come to visit Jenna or Jimmy’s grave. Slowly getting out of the car he opened up the door to the back seats and gently lifted Maddie into his arms. In one of her arms she held Jimmy and in the other the teddy she had won at the fair.
Following the familiar gravel path he had grown to know, he gently kissed Maddie’s hair as they came to a stop by Jimmy’s grave. Placing her on the ground he moved to sit on the grass as usual when Maddie stopped him,
“Daddy, can I talk to Uncle Jimmy in pwivate pwease?” with a smile he nodded at her trying to act like an adult, “I’ll be over there okay baby.” She nodded at him, and watched until he was far enough away before sitting next to his gravestone. She placed the teddies in front of her before gently stroking the side of the grave,
“Hey Uncle Jimmy. I hope you’re sleeping alright. I still don’t understand why you must be in the ground but if it helps you sleep… Daddy and Uncle Brian took me and Kenna to t’ fair today. I missed you being on the horsies wif me. But, but, but, but I did win you a tiger bear. I named it Squidge after me like I named mine after you.” She lifted Jimmy into the air slightly to emphasise her point. Gently Maddie leaned over and placed the tiger in front of the grave next to the flowers his mother left weekly, “I got it so you wouldn’t forget me. I don’t want you and mommy to forget me while you sweep.” She sniffled as she stroked the ears of her Jimmy bear, “Daddy is going to take me to see mommy after I’ve seen you. I miss you Uncle Jimmy, no one wants to play hide and seek wif me anymore; only you did.” She paused and looked down as if thinking, wiping a tear from her eye she looked back up, “Love you Uncle Jim Jam.”
She sat there for a few moments longer before standing up and after placing a kiss on his gravestone and went over to Matt who was on the phone. He smiled down at her and hung up the phone as her little hand grabbed onto his large one. “Ready to go see mommy?” solemnly she nodded and tried to keep up as he carried on up the gravel path to Jenna’s grave. He came to a stop and followed her across the grass. He watched as Maddie sat down by her mother’s grave stone and began talking.
It made Matt sad to think that the last memories Maddie would have of her mother was in the car with blood covering her body along with those of her laying in a hospital bed with tubes and machines everywhere. From what he had been told, Maddie was told by the doctors that she was not allowed into the room with her mother whilst she had been in hospital. He had been out for five days before he had woken up, the hospital only kept Jenna on life support for three of those before it had been switched off. The only time he had seen her after the crash was when she laid in the coffin at the funeral her fringe covering most of the cuts and grazes on her face. Where the point of impact had been greatest was nearer the back of her skull meaning it was easily hidden as she lay peacefully in her favourite turquoise dress Matt had insisted she be buried in. To him she still looked beautiful.
Matt had also made the decision to not allow Maddie to see her mother in the coffin; it was hard enough for him to see her lying there, so thought it best for Maddie not to. Instead she sat on Johnny’s lap looking around curiously. Being only three years old she found it hard to comprehend that her mother had died so instead his own mom had explained it as Jenna going for a very long sleep she would not wake from. Matt had never felt so out of depth with his daughter until that point. He and the guys had been asked continuously by her why so many people were wearing black and crying around her. None of them could come up with a sufficient answer for her. Instead Michelle had taken her outside and spoken to her. To this day Matt didn’t know what it was Michelle had said to Maddie but whatever it was had put Maddie at ease.
Gently lowering himself onto the ground behind Maddie, he lifted her onto his lap. She turned round and smiled at him before continuing with the story she was telling Jenna. When the news had been confirmed to him that Jenna didn’t make it, he vowed that whatever happened in the future, Madison would not forget her mother.
Maddie had fallen asleep on the car journey home. Lifting her out of the car Matt fiddled with his keys ‘til he was able to select the house key. Turning the key in the lock he tried his hardest to silence Bella as she ran up to him, Maddie awkwardly turning in his arms pushing her face into Matt’s neck. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that she hadn’t woken up. Walking into her room, he pulled back her covers and laid her down. Carefully, as not to wake her, he removed her cardigan and shoes. Pulled only the thin sheet over her body so she wouldn’t overheat during her nap he then smiled as he pulled the door so it wasn’t fully closed then made his way downstairs to make dinner.
Taking out the last jar of ready made pasta sauce given to him by Zacky’s mom, he poured it out into a saucepan. Leaving it to gently heat he switched on the kettle and grabbed a water bottle out of the fridge. Letting Bella out into the back yard, he pressed the button on his phone to check for any messages and rolled his eyes when he heard one from Larry reminding him of the band meeting tomorrow; they would be finalising details on ‘Nightmare’s’ release. The monotone woman’s voice gave him unnecessary information before moving onto a message from his mom reminding him of his parent’s anniversary party and dinner next week. Pouring the water from the kettle into another saucepan, he turned on the hob and added some salt. Adding penne to the water, he turned on the small TV he had put in the kitchen for times like this and sat down to watch the evening news.
Ten minutes later he tried a piece of pasta deciding it was almost done. Smiling he turned round to go get his daughter when she sleepily made her way into the kitchen. He smiled as she climbed up onto the bar stool he’d just occupied.
“Daddy, can I some apple juice pwease?”
“Of course you can darling.” Dishing the pasta into bowls he added extra sauce on top then placed it down in front of Maddie. Moments later he placed a glass of apple juice down in front of her as well as a fork. Gratefully she picked up the glass nearly finishing it in one go. “Slow down baby, it’ll make you even thirstier.” Shrugging she added parmesan over her pasta before quietly eating. They ate in a comfortable silence like most nights, the only sound in the room coming from the TV.
When Maddie had finished her meal she smiled up at her father and showed her empty bowl. Picking it up he piled it on top of his, “How about you go get Bella’s leash, your shoes and jacket and we’ll take Bella for a walk down to the beach.” Maddie nodded at him enthusiastically and carefully climbed off the stool. Shaking his head he quickly washed out the bowls and glasses and left them on the draining board.
Sticking his head out of the back door he whistled for Bella to come in which she happily did so. Locking up the door, he double checked then made his way to the entry way to see a struggling Maddie trying to put on Bella’s leash. Taking it out of her hands he told her to get herself ready then put on Bella’s leash himself. Slipping on his own flip flops and jacket he gave the handle of Bella’s leash to Maddie and locked the door behind him.
Following the familiar gravel path he had grown to know, he gently kissed Maddie’s hair as they came to a stop by Jimmy’s grave. Placing her on the ground he moved to sit on the grass as usual when Maddie stopped him,
“Daddy, can I talk to Uncle Jimmy in pwivate pwease?” with a smile he nodded at her trying to act like an adult, “I’ll be over there okay baby.” She nodded at him, and watched until he was far enough away before sitting next to his gravestone. She placed the teddies in front of her before gently stroking the side of the grave,
“Hey Uncle Jimmy. I hope you’re sleeping alright. I still don’t understand why you must be in the ground but if it helps you sleep… Daddy and Uncle Brian took me and Kenna to t’ fair today. I missed you being on the horsies wif me. But, but, but, but I did win you a tiger bear. I named it Squidge after me like I named mine after you.” She lifted Jimmy into the air slightly to emphasise her point. Gently Maddie leaned over and placed the tiger in front of the grave next to the flowers his mother left weekly, “I got it so you wouldn’t forget me. I don’t want you and mommy to forget me while you sweep.” She sniffled as she stroked the ears of her Jimmy bear, “Daddy is going to take me to see mommy after I’ve seen you. I miss you Uncle Jimmy, no one wants to play hide and seek wif me anymore; only you did.” She paused and looked down as if thinking, wiping a tear from her eye she looked back up, “Love you Uncle Jim Jam.”
She sat there for a few moments longer before standing up and after placing a kiss on his gravestone and went over to Matt who was on the phone. He smiled down at her and hung up the phone as her little hand grabbed onto his large one. “Ready to go see mommy?” solemnly she nodded and tried to keep up as he carried on up the gravel path to Jenna’s grave. He came to a stop and followed her across the grass. He watched as Maddie sat down by her mother’s grave stone and began talking.
It made Matt sad to think that the last memories Maddie would have of her mother was in the car with blood covering her body along with those of her laying in a hospital bed with tubes and machines everywhere. From what he had been told, Maddie was told by the doctors that she was not allowed into the room with her mother whilst she had been in hospital. He had been out for five days before he had woken up, the hospital only kept Jenna on life support for three of those before it had been switched off. The only time he had seen her after the crash was when she laid in the coffin at the funeral her fringe covering most of the cuts and grazes on her face. Where the point of impact had been greatest was nearer the back of her skull meaning it was easily hidden as she lay peacefully in her favourite turquoise dress Matt had insisted she be buried in. To him she still looked beautiful.
Matt had also made the decision to not allow Maddie to see her mother in the coffin; it was hard enough for him to see her lying there, so thought it best for Maddie not to. Instead she sat on Johnny’s lap looking around curiously. Being only three years old she found it hard to comprehend that her mother had died so instead his own mom had explained it as Jenna going for a very long sleep she would not wake from. Matt had never felt so out of depth with his daughter until that point. He and the guys had been asked continuously by her why so many people were wearing black and crying around her. None of them could come up with a sufficient answer for her. Instead Michelle had taken her outside and spoken to her. To this day Matt didn’t know what it was Michelle had said to Maddie but whatever it was had put Maddie at ease.
Gently lowering himself onto the ground behind Maddie, he lifted her onto his lap. She turned round and smiled at him before continuing with the story she was telling Jenna. When the news had been confirmed to him that Jenna didn’t make it, he vowed that whatever happened in the future, Madison would not forget her mother.
-------
Maddie had fallen asleep on the car journey home. Lifting her out of the car Matt fiddled with his keys ‘til he was able to select the house key. Turning the key in the lock he tried his hardest to silence Bella as she ran up to him, Maddie awkwardly turning in his arms pushing her face into Matt’s neck. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that she hadn’t woken up. Walking into her room, he pulled back her covers and laid her down. Carefully, as not to wake her, he removed her cardigan and shoes. Pulled only the thin sheet over her body so she wouldn’t overheat during her nap he then smiled as he pulled the door so it wasn’t fully closed then made his way downstairs to make dinner.
Taking out the last jar of ready made pasta sauce given to him by Zacky’s mom, he poured it out into a saucepan. Leaving it to gently heat he switched on the kettle and grabbed a water bottle out of the fridge. Letting Bella out into the back yard, he pressed the button on his phone to check for any messages and rolled his eyes when he heard one from Larry reminding him of the band meeting tomorrow; they would be finalising details on ‘Nightmare’s’ release. The monotone woman’s voice gave him unnecessary information before moving onto a message from his mom reminding him of his parent’s anniversary party and dinner next week. Pouring the water from the kettle into another saucepan, he turned on the hob and added some salt. Adding penne to the water, he turned on the small TV he had put in the kitchen for times like this and sat down to watch the evening news.
Ten minutes later he tried a piece of pasta deciding it was almost done. Smiling he turned round to go get his daughter when she sleepily made her way into the kitchen. He smiled as she climbed up onto the bar stool he’d just occupied.
“Daddy, can I some apple juice pwease?”
“Of course you can darling.” Dishing the pasta into bowls he added extra sauce on top then placed it down in front of Maddie. Moments later he placed a glass of apple juice down in front of her as well as a fork. Gratefully she picked up the glass nearly finishing it in one go. “Slow down baby, it’ll make you even thirstier.” Shrugging she added parmesan over her pasta before quietly eating. They ate in a comfortable silence like most nights, the only sound in the room coming from the TV.
When Maddie had finished her meal she smiled up at her father and showed her empty bowl. Picking it up he piled it on top of his, “How about you go get Bella’s leash, your shoes and jacket and we’ll take Bella for a walk down to the beach.” Maddie nodded at him enthusiastically and carefully climbed off the stool. Shaking his head he quickly washed out the bowls and glasses and left them on the draining board.
Sticking his head out of the back door he whistled for Bella to come in which she happily did so. Locking up the door, he double checked then made his way to the entry way to see a struggling Maddie trying to put on Bella’s leash. Taking it out of her hands he told her to get herself ready then put on Bella’s leash himself. Slipping on his own flip flops and jacket he gave the handle of Bella’s leash to Maddie and locked the door behind him.
♠ ♠ ♠
Thoughts?