Run Away

He sat in the bus in his bunk listening to the rain patter against the side of it. He thought of her, but lately, everything reminded him of her. 
"What a shitty day." he said outloud, throwing his long legs over the side and crawling out. His bandmates were walking around downtown Chicago, something he'd done at least 20 other times on previous tours. He wasn't missing much. He walked to the front of the bus and peeked out the window. The rain stopped instantly and the sun was coming out. Fans lined the street, laughing and talking.  
"Hey Gary, I'm going to go for a walk." he mumbled to their tech man.
"The guys are at Urban Outfitters." Gary replied.
"I just want to be alone." he mumbled, putting in his earbuds and pulled up his hood and cautiously walking off the bus. He was instantly rushed by fans. 
"I'd love to stay and talk guys, but I'm busy." he lied. He didn't even flinch anymore. Lying had become easy for him. 
"John, can you just sign this one thing please?" a girl handed him a their flyer that said 'The Maine Summer of 2011 Tour' on it and a marker. He quickly signed it and shoved it back to her, watching her face light up. He pushed through the girls and quickly walked down the street. 
Everything reminded him of her. The air, the streets, the sound of traffic beeping at each other. He pressed play on his iPod, shuffling his songs. He rolled his eyes as the first one that played. Transatlanticism.
"What do you know," he looked at the sky, "it's our song."
He was the shell of a man. One week ago he was vibrant, happy, and in love. Now he was empty, sad, and despite the people that surrounded him everyday, he was lonely. 
He turned down the busy sidewalk and rolled his eyes. His bandmates were walking towards him smiling and laughing.
"Hey it's John!" Kennedy beamed as they met. 
"You finally get out of bed?" Jared asked.
"I didn't have a choice." he mumbled, pulling out his headphones.
"I talked to Lauren's mom last night." Garrett blurted out. The sound of her name made John want to throw up. He put his headphones back in and pushed through them, fastly walking away.
"YOU HAVE TO CONFRONT IT SOME TIME JOHN!" Garrett yelled after him. He didn't care. He kept walking, blocking out every thought of her and thinking about the sidewalk in front of him. It only lasted a minute though because his mind slipped back into her eyes. He thought of her hair, the way the dark brown wavy hair curled around his fingers as she slept. The way she smiled, her lips were so perfect. Her dark brown eyes always getting lighter in the sunlight. He sat down on a bench by a small sandwich shop. He lit a cigarette.  He looked up at the sky and closed his eyes. 
"God Lauren you were so perfect." he said outloud, taking a drag. He thought of her 22nd birthday a month ago in August. He was only 21 days older than her, but he always felt like they were older. Smarter. Wiser. He had bought her a necklace that she had seen a few months before when he practically had to force her to go on tour with him again in the spring. It was an owl with diamond eyes and a heart on the back. She lit up when she saw it, throwing her arms around him. He tried to hear her voice in the memory, but it too had been torn away with her. He opened his eyes and stared at the sky. The sky had given him strength. He felt like she was always above him, looking down. He got up and sighed, throwing the butt on the sidewalk. He turned down the road and silently walked back to the bus in the September breeze, ignoring the fans and keeping to himself. He didn't know how to feel. He was scared. And he was alone.