Run Away

Garrett pulled up in his bright yellow car, looking rather upset but still happy to see her.
"Hey Garrett." she half smiled as she slid in, closing the door behind her.
"Hi Lauren." he smiled.
He found it hard to be upset mainly because she was alive and a miracle.
"I just can't forget it right now Garrett." she sighed as he peeled off towards the freeway.
"Don't worry about that right now. Don't worry about any of it. We'll go to your house, you can get your stuff, and you can come back to my house. We can pop some popcorn and watch movies if you'd like." he tried his best at making this sound more amazing than it was.
"That sounds wonderful." she smiled.
She wasn't lying. After sitting in a hospital bed for weeks, eating hospital food and sleeping on a hard mattress, she was excited to curl up on Garrett's big couch and eat some real food like she used to. Before all the bullshit happened.
"It will all be okay, I promise. The error of John's ways has a way of coming back to haunt him, and I guess now is the time, but," he sighed and gripped the steering wheel, ready for the argument that would ultimately be the result of what he was going to say.
"What Garrett?" she asked, pulling her hair out of her face to look at him.
"Give him a small break Lauren. He went though a lot when this all happened." Garrett said fast. He was sure of his words, and he knew they were right, but he couldn't help but hate that he had to say it.
"So you're telling me to give him a break?" she repeated, frowning.
"I know. He never gave you a break when he made the choices that he did, but Lauren. He's human too. He hurts too. He won't ever forgive himself until you let him. Until we all let him. Do you have any idea how bad I hurt him when we got that call? Do you know what I said to his face?" Garrett went on down the road, reliving that night.
"What?" she asked calmly. She wasn't upset with Garrett. She knew he was right. The thought of how he felt always crossed her mind. Always.
"I told him it was his fault. I knew it was. I knew you wanted to die. I knew it all. I know you better than that Lauren. All you ever wanted to do was live, and be happy, until that was all taken away from you. Darkness has a way of fucking everything up, even for the happiest of people. It goes where people are warm and undeserving, and it torments and warps the undeserving souls of people until they can't take anymore. Until they want relief. You wanted relief. And I understand." Garrett spat out.
"You couldn't have said that any better Gary." she stared at him wide eyed. He had said everything she was thinking in the most beautiful way. She always knew Garrett was too smart for his own good, and she loved when he chose to make that known.
After another ten minutes of a thought provoking drive, they pulled up in front of her house. John's car sat lonely in the driveway.
"Is my car still in the garage?" she asked Garrett.
He quietly nodded.
"Okay I'm going in. I'll be back in a few minutes." she braced herself for whatever she was going to see and hear once she stepped foot in the house.
"Good luck." he squeezed her hand and she calmly got out.
Each step towards the house was like a painful knife to her stomach. She had never felt this way about seeing John, and it upset her that things had to be this way now. She opened the door and rolled her eyes at the smell and the sight of broken glass on the floor. Booze. This wasn't anything new. Shit always managed to get broken when John drank.
"JOHN!" she yelled, closing the door behind her and carefully making her way around the broken glass on the floor.
"What?" she heard his quiet voice from the bedroom.
She made her way to the door and slowly opened it. Cigarette smoke and alcohol wafted up her nose. He sat there silently on the bed, bottle in one hand, guitar in the other.
"You look pathetic." she fought back laughter.
"You're kind of a bitch right now." he spat.
"That's the buzz talking." she grabbed a pillowcase out of the dresser and started putting clothes in it.
"Wish I could say something was making you a bitch, but it's just you." he spat again, facing her. She dropped the pillowcase and walked towards him, standing in front of him.
"Look me in the eyes John, and call me a bitch one more time. I dare you. Just do it." she knelt down to his eye level.
"Bitch." he said quietly but powerful.
She reached her arm back and slapped him in the face. He let out a short shriek of pain and grabbed his face.
"I may have survived that car crash, but I'll try it again, and again and again, until you're rid of me." she grabbed the pillowcase off the floor and finished filling it while John sat there and rubbed his burning face. He pulled his hand back and looked at it.
"I'm bleeding." he said.
"Good. I bled a lot to." she took off out of the room, pillowcase over her shoulder.
He got up and followed her.
"That's not fair." he said to her back.
"What's not fair John?" she asked, spinning around.
"You did that to yourself. You stepped in front of that car. You knew what you were doing." he said quietly.
"And you didn't? You didn't know what you were doing when you..." she thought about it all. About what Kennedy told her. She turned around and walked out of the house, angrier than when she had arrived.