Stupid Boy

I stayed awake the whole night, crying. Actually, more like sobbing. I hated what my life had become and how my mom was taken from me. It wasn't fair that all of this happened on the same day that I caught my dad with his freaking secretary. I hope they both go straight to hell.

I was so thankful that Tina was letting me stay with her, though. She already had three kids to take care of, but she still let me into her home without even thinking twice. That was why I loved her like my own mom.

But then there was John. Ugh. All night I just wanted to sneak into his room and cry on his chest and fall asleep in his arms, but I wouldn't let myself. If I did that then he would probably know that I don't hate him at all. I never have and never will. He's one of the only people in my life that I know would be there for me through something like this. I've always known that my other 'friends' were only using me for my money. None of them knew my birthday, or about my relationship with my dad, or what my favorite color was. I didn't really have any friends other than my mom and Tina, and at one time, John.

I don't know why, but around the time we were high school freshmen, he wanted nothing to do with me and I'd heard that he would mock me behind my back. It hurt me so badly to know that the only person in my life who ever truly cared or knew anything about me, didn't like me anymore. I never figured out what made him hate me, but it must have been my fault. Most things were.

When I was younger, I always thought I was going to marry John. My mom planted that idea in my head. She even bought me a wedding book to make plans in, which just turned into a coloring book for me. One day when he was over we even had a little mock wedding after he'd 'proposed' to me. I hardly remember it, but I know that I received my first kiss that day.

Of course I had fallen in love with him. Why wouldn't I? He was sweet, cute, funny, and nice. But all of that just changed one day.

I was depressed for days when he had phased me out of his life. I would hardly eat or speak. I thought I did something wrong, but I woke up one day and realized that he was the jerk. My sadness turned to anger and I was determined to show him that I didn't care if he didn't care.

So from then on I lived a pretty empty life. I focused on my grades mostly and graduated in the National Honor Society, only to go to beauty school. As glamorous as my life may have looked from the outside, it was anything but that in reality.

I awoke the next morning to someone whispering my name. I opened my eyes and saw Tina smiling down at me.

"Hey honey. I was just wondering if you needed anything?" She asked quietly as she ran a hand through my hair.

"No, I'm fine." I said in a raw voice.

"Do you want me to pick you up anything at the store? Food? Shampoo? Anything?" She asked.

"No thanks, aunt Tina. I'll be okay." I answered with a forced smile.

She leaned down and gave me a tight hug before releasing me and saying, "I love you, Gracie."

"I love you too, aunt Tina." I replied.

She gave me a sad smile and left the room as she went to the store. I turned over and pulled the covers over me and attempted to get back to sleep, but it was no use.

I got up and turned the tv on before returning to bed as I flipped through the channels.

There was absolutely nothing on. Even if there was, it probably wasn't anything good enough to hold my attention. I settled on some Mtv show and pulled the covers over me.

After about thirty minutes, I heard a soft knock on my door. I rolled my eyes, knowing who was on the other side. He walked in, fully dressed, and stood in front of the bed.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go get some lunch with me?" He asked nervously as he shoved his hands into his pockets.

"No thanks." I replied quietly as I kept my eyes on the tv screen.

"Well, then do you want me to go get you something and bring it back here?" He suggested.

I shook my head and stayed quiet.

"C'mon Gracie, you have to eat." He lectured.

"I'm fine." I told him.

"I'll make you anything, just tell me what you want." He begged as he took a seat on the bed.

"I'm not hungry." I said.

He sighed and looked defeated before getting up from the bed and strolling over to the door. He took one sad look back at me, and left.

I looked down at my lap and thought about things. Would my mom be happy with me acting like this? No. Would she want me to try and work things out with him? Yes. Would I have listened to her? No.

He was the one who decided that I wasn't good enough. He should be the one to apologize and make things right, not me. But then again, I am the one staying with him. I'm the guest so I should try to be nice, I suppose. Ugh, I don't know what to do or how to act. My brain is going two thousand miles a minute and it just sucks.

I watched tv for a little while longer when somebody opened my door. I figured it was Tina, but I was surprised when I saw John holding a large pizza box and two beers.
"I don't know if you're too fancy to eat Pizza Hut, but it's all I could think of." He said.

He knew that Pizza Hut was my favorite, so that statement made me half pissed off, but half excited.

"What? No caviar?" I said flatly.

He rolled his eyes and sat down next to me. I felt like an idiot for wearing the same clothes as I was yesterday, but it's not like he even cares.

He opened the box and I picked up a slice of pizza. Then he twisted the cap off the beer and handed it to me.

"Thanks." I muttered.

I scarfed down the slice quickly and chased it with the beer. God, I forgot how good alcohol was. After eating a few more slices each, we were stuffed. John leaned back on the bed next to me and looked over.

"I'm sorry, Gracie." He whispered as he took my hand in his.

I nodded, never looking up at him, and mumbled a 'thanks'.

"If you need to talk, I'm here." He said sweetly. I scoffed and rolled my eyes before yanking my hand from his grasp. "What?" He cried.

"You never wanted to talk before all of this, but now that she's dead you think we can just go back to being best friends? That's not how it works." I spat as I got up and locked myself in the bathroom.

I heard him get up and slam the bedroom door.

Once an asshole, always an asshole.