I'll Take My Chances

As I woke up again for the second time, Travis wasn't in the bed. I rolled over to a note being shoved in my face

Baby-
went the hospital. come when you wake up. please. love you. trav

I left about an hour later, feeling really uneasy about the whole situation. My iPhone started ringing, so I grabbed it and answered it.

"Hello?"

It was Panda. "Hey. What are you doing?"

"Um on my way to the hospital."

"What, why?"

"Mattie had the kid." I sighed.

"Oh, that's why I haven't heard from Mills."

"Yeah, he's just really wrapped up in it. He was there for 12 hours after the baby was born last night."

"Were you by yourself?"

"Yes, and you know how I fucking hate staying alone at his house at night, it being in such a bad part of town and all."

"I'm sorry, you shoulda called me. Well, tell Travis to call me when you can."

"Okay. Bye."

I walked into the hospital and to the maternity section, and when I walked into the room, Travis was holding Tyson.

Tyson looked just like Mattie, from what I could tell. I gave Mattie a weak smile as she stared at Travis in awe. That bitch better not be getting any ideas.

"Hi." She said to me.

"Where's the other dude that could be the dad?"

"Oh, I told him I was for sure it was Travis'."

"How do you know?"

"I can just feel it."

"Um, okay, there's still a chance it's not his, so, why did you even say that."

"Averi!" Travis glared at me.

"Excuse the fuck out of me. I'm just trying to save a lot of fucking hurt from you if it's not yours."

"But it is-" Mattie started.

"Okay, yeah, because you know, even though both dudes have the same fucking complexion. Just leave me out of this shit." I turned on my heel to leave.

"God damn," He put the baby in the roll-y bed and followed me out of the room. He grabbed my arm and turned me to him. "Averi, what the fuck is wrong, you TOLD me to support this, and for me to be there for her."

"Yeah, Travis, but she doesn't know if that baby is yours! If it's not your going to be depressed and sad and shit, and I'm the one who has to deal with it! It's not fair, to either of us!"

"Well, think about Mattie. How do you think she feels? No, you don't."

I was insulted. "You know what, Travis, I don't know how she fucking feels, and nor do I give any fucks. She was the one going around fucking more than one guy at a time with no fucking birth control, you know better than that shit, Travis!"

"You can't say fucking shit about that, Averi. We have fucking unprotected sex all the time, and you've never gotten pregnant! Don't even be trying to blame this on her, you're the one who left me for rehab-"

"Oh, we're back to that now? It's all because of me, that you got a girl pregnant? I see how this is. I cannot believe you just fucking went there."

"No, Averi,-"

"I'm leaving this fucking hospital. Are you going to come with me or not?" I tried so hard to let him know I wanted him to come home with me, but he just pulled away.

And then that was it. "I need to stay here." He looked at me.

"Okay. I see how it is. I'm the last of your fucking priorities."

"Averi-" I cut him off, and stormed out of the maternity center.

I sped over to Panda's, walked in, and curled up on the couch.

"Panda!!!!" I screamed.

"Yeah?" He walked up the stairs.

"Travis is an asshole."

"Why?"

I told him what happened.

"Damn, I'm sorry, and you're so right. He should have left with you, you should still come first to that boy. Especially if the kid might not even be his. Fuck that Mattie chick.

"He's been there since yesterday afternoon! He came home for like an hour, and left when I was sleeping!"

"Well, did you guys break up... AGAIN?"

"No, I'm not going to keep being rational and breaking up with him over everything. We should try and work things out sometimes, without calling it off."

"True, true."

"I'm just so pissed off right now man."

"Shit, I would be, too."

"Knock, knock." Josh walked in. "Hey, Averi, long time no see!" He kissed me a little too close to my mouth, slightly relieving some stress. He sat down next to me and put his arm around me.

"How have you been?"

"Stressed."

"Travis?"

"Of course, it's always Travis."

"Play with my hair." He turned and laid his head on my lap.

I liked to talk with Josh, he was so honest and funny. He was such a good friend. We were always touchy with each other, not meaning anything by it. Sometimes, we didn't even realize we were doing it.

"Hey Panda is Averi here- Oh." Travis walked in, seeing me and Josh. His face turned to a dark red. Fuck. I was going to get screamed at. "Averi... can we talk? On our way home?"

"I'm not ready to leave yet." He gave me a hard glare, and I sighed. Josh sat up and said bye, and I left my car there to go with Travis.

"Travis, you're shaking." I said as we pulled onto the road.

"You know, I don't mind you and Josh being friends, but I don't like y'all touching all up on each other."

"Well, I don't like you putting a baby and Mattie in front of me. She's only fucking telling you that so you'll stay, Travis. She doesn't 'know' if it's yours because of feeling, she just wants you to be hers. And it scares me."

"Don't let it. I don't want her."

"You don't understand that, Travis, I've seen it happen before. My friend, who lives in Toronto, is pregnant, and she totally stole the guy from his on and off for 4 years girlfriend. It can happen."

"Please, just love me and be with me right now?"

"I do love you, believe me. I love you way too much than I should. And that fucking scares me too."

He grabbed my thigh. "Don't, I love the fact that you're attached to me. I'm the one you want to be with, the one you wake up with, the one you call first thing in the morning if 'm not there, and just the one you come to in general. It makes me the happiest fucking guy in the world. I don't wanna be with anyone else, if you weren't here, I would just be fucking hoes, and being alone at night."