We've Proven Our Love Over Time So Strong.

My mind raced about everything going on. Just the thought of being overseas away from Brian for two years was tearing me up inside. I didn't want to do it, at least not now. I felt that it was too soon into a new relationship to test the waters being far apart. On the first day back to school, I asked around and went into an office to talk to one of the lead instructors.

“What brings you in here today?”

“Chief, I wanna D.O.R,” I said flatly.

“May I ask why?”

“I'm not ready to go overseas yet. It sounds dumb, but I have a relationship that's still fresh, and I just feel that I need to let it grow more before being shipped to the other side of the world.”

“Well, I can't decide for you, but you do know that you'll be sent undesignated right? That in it's own isn't a wise decision, but it's your ultimate choice.”

“I'm aware of this, but as for orders, would I get stateside orders?”

“Most likely, but there's also a big chance you'll be on a ship that could deploy.”

I hung my head. “Well I guess that s better than being in a desert for two years.”

He sighed. “You're an excellent student, and I hate to see that go to waste, but if that's what you want, we'll start the paperwork and check you into holding company back at the barracks, and I'll see if they can find you good orders. There's a possibility that you might be able to find another A school too, and also that you can go undes airman to get into an aviation rate.”

“As long as I can stay in the states for a while, it's fine.”

“Alright. You can take your belongings and return to the barracks. Check into holding company and go from there.”

“Thank you, Chief.”

He nodded as I stood and walked out of the office. I avoided my classmates if they were on a break as I exited the building and walked back to the barracks, into the lounge to the admin office.

“Umm, I'm checking into holds. I dropped on request from school.”

They looked at me like I was an alien before beginning the paperwork. It only took about thirty minutes before everything was said and done. I was then told to just hang in my room, go to lunch, then muster with holds at one pm. As I was walking out of the office, one of them stopped me.

“This afternoon too, you need to turn in your phase three chit.”

“Why?” I asked, before I suddenly remembered.

“Due to some troublemakers, all holds are phase one until further notice.”

I sighed, hanging my head at any freedom I had being ripped away from me. “Okay.”

I went to my room, changed into my PT clothes before laying in bed and grabbing my phone to call Brian. I was upset with myself for what I had done, but I just couldn't live with being away from him for so long. The phone rang a few times before he answered.

“Hey, baby,” he answered with a questioning tone.

“I dropped from school,” I said softly, biting back the lump in my throat.

“Dropped? So you re getting out?”

“Just of the school. Baby, I can't be on the other side of the world away from you for two years. Especially this early in our relationship. I want us to be stronger before that happens.”

“Wow...” he paused, and I knew he was shocked. “So what now?”

“I lost my phase three, so I can't go anywhere. I'm in holds until I get new orders. They're gonna work to get me whatever is available in the states. I could go to another school, or I'll just go undesignated seaman or airman and get a new rate in a year or so.”

“Are you sure that's what you wanna do?”

“I'm upset with myself, but there's no turning back now. I signed all the paperwork and everything.”

“Well, keep me posted on everything I guess. Whenever you find out where you're going, let me know and I'll look for an apartment there.”

“That works. That's what I want.”

“You really wanted that job though. Security? That's a good job field.”

“I'll find something better. This place was starting to piss me off anyways.”

“Whatever you say. It's your choice, baby.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Alright. I love you, babe, and I'm here for you, okay?”

“Mmmhmm. I love you too, Bri, and thanks.”

“So what else is new?”

“Not much. I figured I'd let you know what I just did. I'm gonna take a nap now for a few hours before I have to muster with holds at one.”

“Alright. I'll text you later. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

The line disconnected and I curled up on my bed with my pillow. I did regret the decision to drop, but if it meant being able to spend more time with Brian, then it was fine with me. As I began to fall asleep, I groaned at the nauseous feeling that began to form in my stomach. I managed to sleep until my alarm went off at twelve-thirty. I was outside within fifteen minutes, ready to muster with the holds. A few familiar faces gave me questioning looks, but I didn't respond to them. After muster, we went about doing the usual yard work and cleaning that was done everyday, and within an hour, we were put on liberty to our rooms. I still felt sick, and the heat didn't help much. My stomach was doing flips, and my head was starting to hurt. After I showered, I laid down for a while, unable to fall asleep. Another hour passed and I went back outside to find my former classmates. I only then discovered that I was put on a permanent watch from ten P.M till six A.M, Sunday through Thursday. I sat at one of the picnic tables by myself, texting Brian for a while until people started showing up.

“Breezy! What the hell!?” someone shouted.

I looked up and saw my friend Joe coming towards me, along with a few of my other friends from class. They all wore questioning looks, and asked me where I went, if I got kicked out, and what was up.

“I dropped. I can't handle being stationed on the other side of the world just yet, even if most of you guys will be there,” I said flatly, wrapping my arms around my stomach that was still doing flips.

I talked with them for a bit until the galley opened. Joe and I went to get something for dinner, but I really didn't feel like eating. I still grabbed some food, made a small salad and sat to eat. Moments after nibbling at a piece of lettuce and swallowing it, I was running to the bathroom, leaned over a toilet heaving, throwing up what I had just eaten. Once I was finished, I went back to the table and sat down, pushing my tray away from me.

“You okay?” Joe asked.

“No. I'm upset, and I don't feel good. I regret what I did today, but I haven't embraced that it would be for the better in the long run. Not to mention, they put me on fucking perm-watch.”

“I wish I could do something to help.”

“I know,” I said as I stood up. “I'm heading back because I need to try and get some sleep.”

I headed back to my room and laid in bed, trying everything to fall asleep. I tossed and turned for the next few hours, unable to do so. My nausea settled down, but my head was now pounding horribly. It was making me wanna rip my head off completely. After getting no sleep, I went to the office at around nine to ask if I could just get out of the watch for this one night because I was exhausted, upset, and just felt horrible. I was given the option of doing the watch or going to medical. I didn't want to go to medical, but I just decided to anyways, because I'd have a better chance of relaxing.

Medical was crowded. It was almost ten when I checked in and was told to wait. Minutes turned into hours as I curled up in a chair to try and fall asleep. I rested a bit, but just wanted to be seen so I can go to bed. Hours passed, closing in on two AM when my name was finally called. I sat in a hospital robe in a cold room, but more comfortable than the chair. I began dozing off when I was left alone until the doctor came in. He asked me questions upon questions trying to figure out what was wrong. After almost another hour, he left me alone while he went to get discharge paperwork done. I was diagnosed with a stress reaction and a tension headache, and it was almost three-thirty when I arrived back at the barracks with instruction on what to do. I laid back down and managed to fall asleep until I had to muster at seven then talk to who I needed to talk to. After I did as instructed by medical, I was then told to just go to my room until the one pm muster. I did so and once again was able to fall asleep until twelve-thirty. When I woke up, I had a few unread text messages on my phone from concerned friends. Somehow word had gotten around to a few people that I went to the hospital, so my friends were worried. I answered all of them that I was fine, and went about my afternoon work as usual. After we were let go, I showered, then laid in bed to call Brian.

“Hey, baby,” he answered as usual.

“Hey. How are you?”

“Same old, just relaxing at home. You?”

“Been better. I'm exhausted, and went to the hospital last night.”

“What!? Why?” he asked quickly with a concerned tone.

“I was nauseous, I had a bad headache, I couldn't sleep, and as soon as I tried to eat dinner, I threw up what I swallowed. I sat at medical for almost four hours before they could see me, and I just got diagnosed with a tension headache and a stress reaction.”

“Aww, baby, how are you now?”

“I feel a little better. I managed to get some sleep finally. I didn't wanna go to medical, but it was either that, or stand this stupid watch with no sleep. I'm on a permanent watch five days a week from ten PM till six AM.”

“Wow. Hopefully it won't last long.”

“Yeah. It isn't that bad I guess. I stand the watch, I get to sleep from six until about twelve-thirty, then I muster at one, work for a bit, then I'm usually done no later than two-thirty, because by then it's just so hot outside. And I'm non-duty, so I have the weekends to sleep since I can't go anywhere.”

“Still...I'm sorry, Lis. Hopefully you do get your orders soon.”

“Me too. I'm trying to see the brightside of things. So what's going on with you and the guys?”

“Nothing much, just relaxing here. Missing you.”

I smiled. “I miss you too. I'll let you go for now, because I still need to call my mom and tell them what's going on.” I frowned again. “Fuck, she's gonna be kinda pissed at me.”

“I doubt it. You didn't get into trouble or anything, but I'll let you go then. It'll be fine, baby, and remember that I'm still here for you.”

“I know, babe. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Oh, and I'll text you when I get on watch too.”

“Okay, get some rest so you get better too.”

I was afraid to call my mom and tell her everything, but to my surprise it went well. She understood where I was coming from, but she also did scold me just a bit. Hearing the truth did hurt, but I needed to hear it anyways. I knew it wasn't a good choice to make, but I knew I'd have better opportunities presented to me. After hanging up with her, I laid back down to try and get some more sleep, and finally was able to fall asleep quite quickly.