I'm Keeping the Kitten

“Nikolai Kirov!” Madame read out, and I moved into position, waiting for the music to begin before going through the overly-practiced motions. I had worked so hard, poured my heart and soul into the music, into the dance, that if I didn’t do well I decided I would throw my pointe shoes away and never dance again.

Once the music began, I flowed, sinuous and gliding. It was as if gravity had ceased its hold and my toes barely grazed the floor. The arms of a nonexistent held me as I leapt through the air, legs snapping out, feet pointing until pain set in. The moment seemed suspended in time as I covered distance, preparing for the landing on pointe, one leg still held in the air, back arching gracefully as my head came back to meet my foot.

In its entirety, the piece was only two minutes, but it felt eternal, timeless. When the music ended, it was as if I had too, like withering. I panted and gazed out at my teacher and peers, my family and friends. At first, there was only silence, but that silence soon erupted into applause, cheering like which I had never heard before. Mommy was crying and Tyki at her side was bouncing up and down, his newly-dyed hair quivering and moving about jauntily. Swallowing nervously, I skipped off stage and into the audience, Madame being the first one to greet me.

“Nika, that was perfect! You danced with so much power and emotion, your best to date, I think.” Her cherry-red lips were stretched into a wide smile and I couldn’t help but smile back. There was no higher praise Madame could give. She was truly my dance idol. My friends and family were next to greet and congratulate me, Tyki and Mahi wrapping me in a loving embrace with Lettie and Johann squeezing in beside them until I could hardly breathe. I felt like I was drifting on a cloud. I hadn’t felt so good in a month or so. Not since the last time I saw Gallagher before everything went to Hell.

“Nika?” I looked up at my mom, still grinning, confused by the look on her face as she held out my phone. “It’s your dad.”

“Hello, Dad.” Why aren’t you here? Not that I’m not used to your broken promises.

“Kola, long time no hear!” One month, two weeks and three days to be exact. Since the day I returned to Siberia, I hadn’t heard anything from my father except for an envelope of money sent on my birthday and a promise to call soon, followed by a message from him by way of my mother saying he would surely be at my recital.

“Yes . . . is something wrong? Is Gallagher okay?” Of course my mind would jump to that, to my half-brother, the love of my life, imagining him lying dead in a ditch somewhere.

“No, everything’s fine. Your brother’s fine. I was calling because there’s a new school opening up on the island for overachieving students like you. The school everyone usually goes to is getting overcrowded, so this one opened up and you have to take a test to get in. I figured maybe January to July or so you could be in Hawaii, then the rest of the year in Russia. Your mother is fine with it provided it’s what you want, but it’s completely up to you.”

I looked at Tyki and Mahi, their inquisitive looks identical, and bit my lip. “Can I think about it and call you back?”

“Of course, no rush.”

“Thank you. Goodbye.” I felt horribly passive-aggressive cutting him off before he could say anything else, but I liked to think that maybe just once I could be the one hurt and perhaps be selfish about my feelings instead of sacrificing them for someone else’s.

“What was that all about?” The twins demanded simultaneously.

“Dad wants me to go back to school in Hawaii and live there January to July or something like that. Apparently some special school is opening . . . I don’t know what I want yet, though.” The unsaid words spoke louder than the actual ones and they both nodded.

“Gallagher won’t bother you. He’s back to his old ways, just with guys this time.” Tyki shook his head. “Bastard. But don’t worry, Kyte and I took care of it.”

“What?”

“Hardly anyone will speak to him, now,” Mahi explained quietly. “They’ve gotten him pretty much ostracized.”

“But Kyte is Gallagher’s best friend.”

“And he’s my boyfriend, what’s your point?” Tyki shot back, smirking. “He knows you were in the right. I mean who cares if he flew here? It doesn’t change the fact he hurt you numerous times. You were just practicing self-preservation instead of subjecting yourself to what would probably be a painful relationship anyway. I mean think about it. He’s a surfer, you’re a dancer going to a school hella far away, you’re an introvert, he’s an extrovert, you’re sensitive, he’s a dick. I could go on all day.”

That changed nothing.

“I don’t want you hurting his reputation for my sake. I love Gallagher. And even if we aren’t . . . together, he’s still my brother.”

“You’re too nice.”

“I know.”

*^*^*^*^*

I closed my eyes and smiled slightly, squeezing Mahi and Tyki’s hands as the plane began its ascent. I’d taken the test and passed with flying colors, so we agreed that even though the semester had already started, I would go back to Hawaii for the six-ish month period (which took a lot of convincing on Tyki and Mahi’s parts). That time, it didn’t feel so final as I flew away from the small town I loved and the people who were my extended family.

Pooka and Canny-poo were in their carriers and I couldn’t wait to get there so I could hold my babies in my arms again. For the majority of the flight, I slept, only awakening when we stopped off in China, then drifting right back off when we transferred planes. How I slept is a mystery, my mind was churning with thoughts of Gallagher and how he would react, how things would be between us knowing our history. But I couldn’t stay awake long enough to consider before sleep overtook me yet again.

*^*^*^*^*

We arrived at noon, Hawaiian time. Tyki ran off the plane, squealing, into Kyte’s arms, and a pang of envy shot through me. Their joy was overwhelmingly perfect, but once the jealousy passed all I could be was happy for them. Kyte explained he’d talked to Brian and that he would be gone until seven that evening, but he and the twins would stay and hang out until then, though he insisted it had nothing to do with Gallagher, considering he probably wouldn’t be there.

I tugged a pair of cutoffs and my GazeRock Isn’t Dead tank-top on in the bathroom before we set off. It surprised me how easy it was to slip back into my old routines with my Hawaiian friends, joking and laughing and bantering lightly, listening as Tyki and Kyte chatted, their love so obvious I wanted to wrap them up in a perfect little bubble.

Kyte was our ride to the island I knew as my second home, Pooka and Timcanpy freaking out at the water surrounding them on all sides, mewing like crazy and running around across our laps in a frenzy. The island rose into existence and I bit my lip, fingers beginning to shake lightly as we approached, spreading to my entire body by the time we got to the dock. Mahi helped me up, then passed the kittens, who bolted as soon as their paws touched the wood.

“Crap! Canny-poo, Pooka wait!” Without a thought for my things or friends, I took off down the beach after the kittens, Timcanpy darting through the open glass door on the side of the house with Pooka not far behind. “Timcanpy! Pooka!” I called after them as I ran into the house, pausing a moment to listen for the patter of their feet. Hearing them on the stairs, I followed, attempting—in vain—to catch the maddened kitties. Finally, they slowed down, stopping just outside the closed door to my bedroom.