These Butterflies
His Games.
My left foot taps the floor impatiently.
I haven’t seen Alex since this morning, and it’s driving me crazy. I’ve already shoved my belongings in my backpack. My heart thuds anxiously as I stare at the clock, waiting for these agonizingly slow seconds to pass already. Finally the bell rings. I jump up from my desk, hitting my knee in the process and scurry out of the classroom. As I rush to my next class, I stare across the hall, hoping to just catch a glimpse of Alex. My heart relaxes when I finally spot him in midst of all the random faces around him, all heading in different directions. It looks like he’s been pulling at his hair since he woke up, if he even slept at all. I wouldn’t be surprised. All I get is a split second, and then he’s gone again. He disappears behind the 300 building. And in that same instant, I run into someone else.
“I’m so sorry!” I exclaim as I watch their things smack against the concrete. I crouch down frantically and pick up a binder and a spiral notebook open to a page of mathematic formulas that are so complex-looking that I almost cringe. I notice the penmanship and how familiar it looks. When I lift my head, I realize why. Connor stands before me, a satisfied grin curving his lips.
He lifts his right hand. “High five for clumsiness!” he jokes. There’s something under his ear and that’s when I see something that I wish I hadn’t. I feel my heart sinking in at the sight of his hickey. I feel so stupid for even giving him the time of day and even considering the fact that he might genuinly like me as a person. No wonder Alex thinks I'm an idiot. I should have trusted him and Stephen. They were so totally right about Connor.
I look back down and sigh. “Hey, what’s wrong?” he asks, trying to sound concerned. The truth is I'm having a horrible day and I’m not in the mood for Connor and his games. He takes his belongings from my hands. He gently pushes a strand of hair behind my ear and a chill runs down my spine at his touch, which I know does not come with good intentions.
“Don’t touch me,” I say.
He looks shocked. “I’m sorry,” he lets out, dumbfounded. “Did I do something wrong?”
I shake my head. “I have to go.” I hope no one has noticed us so far because I really don't want Alex to find out Connor was talking to me and get mad again. I go around him but he catches up to me.
“Is there anything I can do? You know you can talk to me, right?”
I begin to get irritated with his lies. He thinks I'll be like those other girls who give him what he wants. It's a bit insulting that he thinks he can use the same tricks on me. “You've done enough, Connor.”
“Lani, please-”
I stop abruptly in my tracks and stare at him directly in the eyes. “Don’t ever call me Lani again. Only my brother calls me by that name. Only him,” I say.
He gulps. “Sorry…” I start walking again. “Listen, I care about you. I want us to be friends,” he says.
I don’t know if he thinks he’s actually convincing me, but he’s far from it. I know the truth. He’s so arrogant and predictable. All he wants is to sleep with me. It's so annoying how persistent he's being about something he's never going to get. Again, I stop. “You’re such a liar! Just stop already. Just leave me alone. I don't want to be seen with you.”
“Listen, I like you. Just give me a chance, please,” he insists.
“You’re wasting your time, Connor. Please just let it go. Leave me alone.”
“Why would you say that? You haven't spent enough time with me to know that.”
“I know enough, Connor. I know your type. I know you like sleeping around.”
“That's not true," he insists. "I'm not like that. Trust me. I mean, I know that's my reputation but-"
I shove my hands in my pockets and sigh. “That hickey wasn’t there on Friday.”
His face drops and he lifts his hand to cover the red swirl on his neck. He wants to think of something, a reasonable excuse, but I think he’s finally realized that he can’t trick me anymore.
I sigh and walk away from him.
I haven’t seen Alex since this morning, and it’s driving me crazy. I’ve already shoved my belongings in my backpack. My heart thuds anxiously as I stare at the clock, waiting for these agonizingly slow seconds to pass already. Finally the bell rings. I jump up from my desk, hitting my knee in the process and scurry out of the classroom. As I rush to my next class, I stare across the hall, hoping to just catch a glimpse of Alex. My heart relaxes when I finally spot him in midst of all the random faces around him, all heading in different directions. It looks like he’s been pulling at his hair since he woke up, if he even slept at all. I wouldn’t be surprised. All I get is a split second, and then he’s gone again. He disappears behind the 300 building. And in that same instant, I run into someone else.
“I’m so sorry!” I exclaim as I watch their things smack against the concrete. I crouch down frantically and pick up a binder and a spiral notebook open to a page of mathematic formulas that are so complex-looking that I almost cringe. I notice the penmanship and how familiar it looks. When I lift my head, I realize why. Connor stands before me, a satisfied grin curving his lips.
He lifts his right hand. “High five for clumsiness!” he jokes. There’s something under his ear and that’s when I see something that I wish I hadn’t. I feel my heart sinking in at the sight of his hickey. I feel so stupid for even giving him the time of day and even considering the fact that he might genuinly like me as a person. No wonder Alex thinks I'm an idiot. I should have trusted him and Stephen. They were so totally right about Connor.
I look back down and sigh. “Hey, what’s wrong?” he asks, trying to sound concerned. The truth is I'm having a horrible day and I’m not in the mood for Connor and his games. He takes his belongings from my hands. He gently pushes a strand of hair behind my ear and a chill runs down my spine at his touch, which I know does not come with good intentions.
“Don’t touch me,” I say.
He looks shocked. “I’m sorry,” he lets out, dumbfounded. “Did I do something wrong?”
I shake my head. “I have to go.” I hope no one has noticed us so far because I really don't want Alex to find out Connor was talking to me and get mad again. I go around him but he catches up to me.
“Is there anything I can do? You know you can talk to me, right?”
I begin to get irritated with his lies. He thinks I'll be like those other girls who give him what he wants. It's a bit insulting that he thinks he can use the same tricks on me. “You've done enough, Connor.”
“Lani, please-”
I stop abruptly in my tracks and stare at him directly in the eyes. “Don’t ever call me Lani again. Only my brother calls me by that name. Only him,” I say.
He gulps. “Sorry…” I start walking again. “Listen, I care about you. I want us to be friends,” he says.
I don’t know if he thinks he’s actually convincing me, but he’s far from it. I know the truth. He’s so arrogant and predictable. All he wants is to sleep with me. It's so annoying how persistent he's being about something he's never going to get. Again, I stop. “You’re such a liar! Just stop already. Just leave me alone. I don't want to be seen with you.”
“Listen, I like you. Just give me a chance, please,” he insists.
“You’re wasting your time, Connor. Please just let it go. Leave me alone.”
“Why would you say that? You haven't spent enough time with me to know that.”
“I know enough, Connor. I know your type. I know you like sleeping around.”
“That's not true," he insists. "I'm not like that. Trust me. I mean, I know that's my reputation but-"
I shove my hands in my pockets and sigh. “That hickey wasn’t there on Friday.”
His face drops and he lifts his hand to cover the red swirl on his neck. He wants to think of something, a reasonable excuse, but I think he’s finally realized that he can’t trick me anymore.
I sigh and walk away from him.