These Butterflies

We're all sitting around the island in my kitchen. Derek is sitting right across from me.

"Connor, have they called you back about that lifeguard position at Shoreside?" he asks.

"Oh yeah, I got the job. I start on Wednesday. It kinda sucks though because I have to rush over to basketball practice everyday after my shift."

"Isn't your practice hella late though? Like a 9, right?" Anthony asks. He's getting a soda from the fridge and now he's walking back to his seat next to his girlfriend.

"That's only during school days. But I still have to rush anyways when we get back to school because they told me the only opening they have after school hours is from 4:30 to 8:30 and I can start that in two weeks."

"Hey, that's my shift too!" Derek yells excitedly. He blows me a kiss jokingly as a sign of affection. I mess around and pretend to catch it. "Oh yeah, you like that?" he teases. "You'll be seeing more of that every weekday from 4:30 to 8:30."

"Wait," Anthony interrupts. "I thought you applied to a different water park. Didn't you say The Cavern? Because Lacy said she would reccomend you or something."

"Oh... I was. But she's kinda pissed at me for never calling her back after we slept together last month."

"Oh," he says awkwardly before abandoning the conversation completely. He always does that.

"Hey Michael, didn't you tell me Landon was getting swim lessons at Shoreside during that time?" Luke asks. Landon is Cat and Michael's eight-year-old brother.

"Oh right, from 6:30 to 8:30 every Monday and Wednesday but he's doing morning sessions right now because Shoreside closes way earlier during winter break" Michael says as he reaches for another chocolate chip cookie on Luke's plate of junk food. He's sitting on my right, between Luke and me.

"Yeah, I'll be seeing him," I say. "I'm going to help the little kids learn their strokes."

"Aw, how cute," Riley says.

"Dang Connor, gonna be changing lives," Anthony says.

"I don't think teaching little kids how to swim on their backs is necessarily life-changing," I respond.

"Actually, statistics show that children who become involved in sports at that age are more likely to stay in school and keep an active lifestyle which tends to lower chances of depression and drug use when they hit their teenage years," he states.

"Young Tony dropping knowledge though," Derek says. He's the only one that calls Anthony, Tony. Anthony winks and puts his arm around Riley's shoulders.

"Alright, well I'm bored. Are we going to The Dark Side or not?" Cat asks before taking a sip of Smirnoff. She's the only one drinking. Anyways, Cat got us all fake IDs a while ago. We usually crash this bar downtown called The Dark Side. Everyone, especially Cat, likes it because it mostly play songs from a bunch of cool indie bands and it's always full of college kids from the University of California, Sunrise Valley which is like twenty minutes away. It's also really cool because it's underground, like literally underground. To get in, you go through this one lonely, inconspicuous door between an antique shop and a thrift store. When you look inside, all you see is a hallway with a staircase at the end. It's hard to find really, but Cat is good at finding all these hipster places with her hipster college friends.

"Can't," Anthony says. "I have to be up early tomorrow for that family thing. Aren't you going?"

Cat moans. "Of course not. Our family gatherings are always such a bore, I could die."

"Well I'd love to go to The Dark Side but he's my ride so I can't go either," Derek says. "Besides, I have to pick up my check from work early tomorrow so I don't want to stay up too late."

Cat rolls her eyes. "Well that sucks."

I'm not really all that obsessed with The Dark Side but I had a really shitty day and I feel kind of bad for her so I say, "I'm down."

"Yeah I want to go too," Luke says.

"Riley?" Cat asks.

"Of course I'm coming," Riley responds. They're like, inseparable.

"Can I come?" Michael asks. I feel kind of bad but we didn't take him last time because the time before that, we almost got caught with him. He's the youngest one of us and he may be tall and muscular but he's only a sophomore and still has somewhat of a baby-face, compared to the rest of us anyway.

"No, I'm dropping you off at home," his sister says coldly.

"Why do you always treat me like a baby?" he compains.

"Because you're the only virgin," she teases. It's true, so he doesn't respond. He just stays quiet and eats his cookie angrily. It's silly though. I mean, I don't think it automatically makes him the "baby" of the group because even if he did, having sex does not mature anyone in any way, shape, or form. I still grin and hold back my laughter at the fact that it made Michael so mad that she brought up his virginity.

"Aw how sad, no one's taken his V-card yet?" Riley adds. "Michael, I'll have sex with you if you want,"

"Hey!" Anthony yells, insulted at his girlfriend's offer.

"That's disgusting," Cat says. "Don't ever offer to take my little brother's virginity ever again."

"It'll be totally platonic," Riley adds, to my discomfort, very nonchalantly.

"Seriously, you're gross."

"Why? You took Luke's virginity in a totally platonic way."

"That's so weird," Anthony says.

"It was totally plantonic," the girls and Luke say in unison.

"I DON'T CARE. IT'S STILL WEIRD."

Nobody asked me but, "I feel like our entire friendship is us all just being weirdly sexual towards each other."

Cat hurries to finish the sip she was taking from her bottle. "This coming from the guy who has slept with the greater population of the girls at our school."

I feel my phone vibrate. "I think that just makes my point all the more vaild," I say. When I pull my phone out of my pocket and see the name on the screen, I yell, "SHE TEXTED ME." Everyone knows exactly who I'm talking about. I text her back immediately.

"No way," Riley responds in disbelief. "Doesn't she totally hate you? She never said bye after abandoning you at my party and then never called you back."

"Yeah, thanks for the reminder Riley."

"Man, just forget about that. She's obviously over it. What does her text say?" Anthony says.

"She said 'If you still want, I think we should try that second date.'" I responded: Of course I do. How does tomorrow sound? I get a response as I'm reading hers out loud. All she said is "sure" but I'm stoked. "We're going out tomorrow!" I yell.

"Hell yeah!" Derek is excited for me and jumps on my back. I try to catch him but I miss so he kind of just hangs on my back.

Anthony, Michael, Luke, and Riley all cheer for me. I see Cat roll her eyes. "Are you guys seriously this excited? She's so boring."

"Doesn't matter," Michael says. "She's hot."

"I think she's pretty funny," Anthony adds.

"Yeah, and she's like really nice," says Riley.

"Okay, well no one who's tried to date her before has ever gotten far at all. She's a tease and you're a player who's so not her type, and even if you were, it still wouldn't go anywhere because she's such a goody two-shoes prude and her brother hates you."

"Damn Cat, why do you have to be such a buzzkill?" I say.

"Yeah Cat, stop sippin' on that hater-ade," says Derek when he finally lets go.

"Alright, whatever. I'm really not that impressed by her but you children have your fun. I'm going for a swim because I'm so over all of you right now." She takes her drink and saunters over toward the tall glass doors, my swimming pool visible on the opposite side. "We're leaving in an hour, so be ready," Cat says before sliding the door behind her shut.

"I'll join her," Riley says, following close behind.

"I actually should be leaving right now." Anthony rushes over to give Riley a peck on the lips.

"Oh right. Me too," Derek says. "Later." He walks over to Michael and rubs his head.

"Don't touch my hair."

"Anyways, congrats bro and good luck on your date," Derek says to me as he begins walking toward the front door.

"Thanks." I grin at the thought.

"Yeah man, get some," Anthony says in this ridiculous high-pitched voice. "Catch ya guys on the flipside." And then they leave the kitchen.

I turn back around toward Luke and Michael. "I have to go pick what I'm gonna wear for tomorrow."

"Wow, really? Are you really going to be gay about this? I'm hanging out with the girls," Michael decides. He leaves me and Luke inside. We just shrug. Michael's kind of asshole, just like his sister, but we're used to it. I feel like they were both just spoiled as children and are a bit deluded in their own little world. Sometimes I think that if Anthony wasn't their cousin and didn't introduce us, I probably wouldn't have became friends with them but I'm glad he did, mostly with Cat. People like her are really hard to come by. Every now and then, she can be pretty cool. You just have to accept the bad with the good, I guess.

Luke and I walk upstairs to my room where I try throwing outfits together on my bed and pointing at them to ask for his opinion. "Should I wear that or that?"

"Where are you taking her?" he asks.

"Scarpetta," I say with a really bad accent. I clear my throat. "...that Italian place."

"That place is so expensive, oh my god."

I just shrug. I get so much of an allowance that I don't know what to do with it sometimes. Might as well spend it on a pretty girl. "How about this?" I point at a dark blue, almost black suit. "I heard this color really brings out my eyes."

"Michael was right. You are being pretty gay." The side of his mouth lifts into a mocking smirk.

"Dude, whatever. She's cute as hell. I just want to impress her and I don't want to mess up again. I don't have a lot of time."

"How is it that you've been obsessed with her since like eighth grade and you're just now going on your first real date with her?"

I sigh. "She's kinda fiesty. It just throws off my game. And you know her brothers make it so difficult."

"So it took you four years just to get her to go out with you?"

I frown. "You're really killing my vibe right now."

He laughs. "Sorry. Have you slept with her yet though?"

"No," I mumble disappointedly.

"Yeah, I figured. You'll get over her once you have sex with her, just like everyone else."

I shrug while looking through my assortment of ties. "Yeah, I guess."

"Did you know Kaylie Bradford works at Shoreside?" Michael's voice randomly comes from my bedroom door. "She's an assistant swim coach. Did you know that?"

"Uh, I do now," I say.

"You have to put in a good word for me when you start working there," Michael says. "Please. She's so fucking hot."

I roll my eyes. "You think everyone hot." He literally likes a new girl like every week.

"No, but she's ridiculously hot, like so many guys want her. And I think she likes me. Come on man, be my wingman. I need you. You're good with words."

"If you think she likes you, just ask her out already."

"I don't know dude, I can't afford to mess up with someone like her. I made out with her at this party last week and... I don't know, it might be weird."

"Weird how? Stop being such a girl," I tease.

"Just make sure she likes me and I promise I'll ask her out. Just do that for me, please please please."

I sigh. It really won't be that hard figuring out whether she likes him or not. "Alright, whatever. I got you. Don't worry."

His lips expand into a broad grin. "Thanks man. You're rad." I see him take his phone out of his pocket before heading downstairs again.

I tilt my head, looking into my closet to see if I accidentally looked over any potential outfit. "Should I wear a tie or is that too much?" I ask Luke, who hasn't said anything since Michael came and left.

I turn around to look at him. His shrugs his shoulders weakly. "I don't know. Either is fine, I guess." His eyes are doing that thing again. It's always so random. It's like he just shuts down on people and looks so depressed. Just looking at him makes me sad as hell.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing dude." His voice perks up a bit. "Life is wonderful." He sounds kind of sarcastic and forced.

"Alright, you're full of shit but whatever." I turn my back to him again. "Are you wearing that to The Dark Side or do you want to borrow something?"

"I'm fine in this," I hear him say. I just change into a white crewneck and then we head downstairs.

Michael is sitting alone on the couch. I look out at the pool and don't see Cat and Riley. "Where are the girls?" I ask.

"They're getting ready in one of the rooms." He doesn't look up from his phone.

"Texting Kaylie?" I tease.

"Actually yeah. Did you know she won a national title from diving when she was like, ten? And that's that she's a certified beach lifeguard? No wonder she's so fit. But seriously, she's so cool." His thumbs move at a rapid pace across his keyboard.

Luke walks off without saying anything. He's acting so weird again but I don't bring it up because Michael will probably say something douchey and make everything worse. I just sit down next to him. I text Milan. "Wear something nice," I text. "What's that supposed to mean?" She responds. I grin. She's so sassy and unafraid.

"I mean, something elegant. I'm taking you somewhere nice."

"You don't have to do that."

"Oh, but I do. I owe you. It'll be great, I promise."

"Where are you taking me?"

"That's a surprise."

She doesn't text me back. I guess I'm not interesting enough, but as long as she's still my date, I still have a chance to win her over so it's okay. Before I know it, the girls' footsteps are coming from the stairway. They're wearing tight dresses with their hair and make-up done. I swear it's like they live here. They leave so much of their girly stuff that they could stay here for weeks and have all the clothes and beauty stuff they need. "You guys ready?" Riley asks.

"Ready for what?" Michael grumbles. He's still mad we aren't taking him, but we don't want to get almost-caught again. He walks to the front door without looking up at anybody.

"Alright, let's go," Cat says. Luke comes up from the kitchen and joins me as I follow them out to Cat's car. Riley sits in the passenger seat while Cat drives. Cat and Michael live closer to downtown so we drop him off on the way. As we begin closing in on our destination, I kind of just gaze out the window and watch people going about their business. Downtown is always so busy, especially at night for some reason. We stop at a red light.

"Hey I see Milan," I hear Luke say. He's sitting behind the driver's seat.

"Really?" My interest spikes. I strain my neck to try and catch a glimpse, then I see her. She's sitting with Stephen, a small circular table between them. They're sitting outside of that new pizza place. "Should I say hi? I should say hi. Stop the car," I tell Cat.

She turns to look at Milan and then returns her eyes to the road. "Connor no." The light turns green and she doesn't even hesitate to hit the pedal.

I sink back into my seat, kind of annoyed. "You're a really sucky human."

"We don't even have time."

"Yeah, sure." I sound kind of like a bratty twelve-year-old and it's embarrassing so I close my mouth. I just want to get drunk and not think of anything anymore.

*

I don't even remember walking into the bar. I'm kind of out of it. This girl I just met is dancing on me. I'm a horrible dancer, so horrible that even when I'm drunk, I still know I'm a horrible dancer. I just kind of nod my head to the music. The song isn't that upbeat.

She moves her lips up to my ear. "My apartment is only a few minutes away."

"You live around here?" I ask.

"Yeah. I go to UCSV."

"Oh, so you're a college girl?" I ask, and I regret it almost immediately. What a dead giveaway that I'm still in high school and underaged. I feel so stupid but she's so drunk too that she doesn't notice it.

"Well yeah, where do you go?"

"USC," I lie. It's always my go-to college when I'm pretending to be of drinking age.

"Oh, that's kinda far." Yeah, exactly, I think. "How about I make it worth your while since you came all this way."

Everything is slushing so slowly as my brain is trying to process what she's saying. I feel like she's coming onto me but I'm not sure. I contemplate what I want. I've slept with a few college girls before. They're kind of crazy in bed.

She leans in to kiss me. My eyes widen and I move away from her. "Whoa, whoa, whoa."

She rolls her eyes. "Don't buy me a drink if you don't plan on sleeping with me after. You just wasted my time." She starts walking away.

"You have a great night now," I say aloud but I can barely hear myself over the music and I feel awkward. She just leaves me standing there and fades into the crowd. I don't even remember buying her a drink. I kind of shrug and take another sip.

I try to look for Luke and the girls, but I feel disorientated and I can't see any of them. I stumble a little as I go back to the car and decide to wait for them there. I start to fall asleep.

Before I knock out I think about how I'm glad I didn't kiss her. I kind of want to pat myself on the back for that actually. I usually don't pass up on offers like that, but I remember how I'm lucky that Milan even agreed at all to go out with me again after all those times I've fucked up around her. And she's not dumb, but I am. I tried lying to her that one time when Lacy gave me those hickies on my neck and I tried acting like I was all innocent. I want to scoff myself just thinking about it. If Milan even senses that I was with another girl, I'll be done with. This last chance she gave me was a total miracle. After that awkward dispute at the mall, I would have bet money that she would never talk to me again. So now I'm more convinced than ever that waiting and being patient is the only thing to do before I can get what I want. I'm not about to mess up with the girl I can't afford to lose. I'd rather wait for Milan than sleep with another girl.