Status: Being Revised. Thoughts and Opinions are always welcomed
Alone
Alone
I ignored everybody the next day at school. I'm sure Zachy would have kept his mouth shut, but just to stay on the safe side I kept getting away each time someone tried to get to me.
Right now I was in art class. I wrote the teacher telling him I would like extra credit in his class, so he was setting me up with a photography project.
"Okay Kirsten, so you know how to work these cameras I assume." I nodded my yes.
"Good, so this is the project. Think about a very strong moment in your life." he gave me a second to think and then began again.
"Okay, now you will take pictures explaining this moment in your life. You can't write anything down, everything must be done by pictures, then when you have all the pictures you need, you will make them into a collage that will show this moment. You can't use any magazine pictures or anything off the internet. All the pictures must be real life pictures that you have taken. Agreed?" I nodded my agreement.
"Okay good now this won't be due until the end of the year." I nodded.
"Okay you may go now Ms. Lite." I then left.
I wasn't going to go back to my dorm I didn't want to face anybody right now. I know this might make me seem like a chicken, but I have my reasons. These people have no need to know of my past.
I sat at my bench. I had taken to calling it my bench, because I was always going to this bench and I never seemed to see anybody else on this bench.
I sighed and thought to myself. I was so lost in thought, like usual, that I didn't notice anybody sit beside me. I still didn't notice them when they cleared their throat. I only noticed them when they took me by the shoulders and shook me.
"KIRSTEN!!" I blinked a couple of times then focused in on the person. Zachy.
I turned away from him and sighed.
"Kirsten I know what I saw yesterday, so please tell me where they all came from." I sighed and still said nothing, well it's not like I was going to say anything, I was a mute..
"Please tell me." I looked at him and he was pleading with me.
I felt tiny tears prick at the corner of my eyes. I quickly blinked them away, and I let a heavy sigh out.
I got out my notebook and pen. I tore out a piece of paper. I wrote down something, then put all my stuff back into my bag. I gave Zachy the note then got up and ran.
Zachy's POV
I saw her get up and run. I took the note she gave me and read it.
I'm sorry Zachy, but I just can't talk about it.
I sighed in anger and ripped the paper up. I watched as shreds of paper fell to the ground. I yelled at nothing then left to head back to my dorm.
Kirsten's POV
I stopped running when I was sure I was far enough away from Zachy. I fell down to my knees and breathed heavily.
That's when all the memories I had been trying to get away from, the ones I had locked up, the ones I still had nightmares about every night.
The memories came so fast that I knew I wouldn't be able to stop them as they consumed me. I held my head in my hands and fell from my knees to the ground into the fetal position.
I cried out knowing that my voice wouldn't work that well from all this time of not using it. My throat was dry. My voice scratchy.
I remembered when people use to compliment me on how beautiful my voice was, now it was nothing but a scratchy abomination to what used to be my lovely voice.
I cried so hard and long that I never thought that I would stop. All I wanted was to black out or faint. Anything to stop these memories from playing through my mind, and my voice playing through my ears.
It felt like days until all the memories were easier to control, and all that I had left were the happier more recent memories of me and what I now call my friends.
I stopped screaming, and slowly took my hands away from head. I sat up and just stared forward at nothing but trees.
I brought my hands up to my face and I felt tears coming down my face. I rubbed at my eyes, and tried wiping away all the evidence of me ever having this horrible break down.
I knew this probably wouldn't help at all, the most it would do was make it worse, but I didn't care I just wanted this to all go away.
I slowly got up and started walking back towards the school. As I walked I noticed that it had gotten dark and there was now a cool breeze blowing around me. The breeze felt wonderful to me, it made me feel somewhat refreshed.
Once I was at my dorm door I quietly entered hoping not to wake up any of my roommates. I tiptoed to my room, and quickly opened and entered my room.
I switched the light on and turned around. I nearly jumped out of my skin at what I saw.
Bianca, Leo, and Zachy were all there sitting around my room waiting for me. They all looked pissed. I looked again and saw that in Leo's lap was Bubba.
I gave a small wave, and when they did nothing, but stare at me I knew I was in deep shit.
Right now I was in art class. I wrote the teacher telling him I would like extra credit in his class, so he was setting me up with a photography project.
"Okay Kirsten, so you know how to work these cameras I assume." I nodded my yes.
"Good, so this is the project. Think about a very strong moment in your life." he gave me a second to think and then began again.
"Okay, now you will take pictures explaining this moment in your life. You can't write anything down, everything must be done by pictures, then when you have all the pictures you need, you will make them into a collage that will show this moment. You can't use any magazine pictures or anything off the internet. All the pictures must be real life pictures that you have taken. Agreed?" I nodded my agreement.
"Okay good now this won't be due until the end of the year." I nodded.
"Okay you may go now Ms. Lite." I then left.
I wasn't going to go back to my dorm I didn't want to face anybody right now. I know this might make me seem like a chicken, but I have my reasons. These people have no need to know of my past.
I sat at my bench. I had taken to calling it my bench, because I was always going to this bench and I never seemed to see anybody else on this bench.
I sighed and thought to myself. I was so lost in thought, like usual, that I didn't notice anybody sit beside me. I still didn't notice them when they cleared their throat. I only noticed them when they took me by the shoulders and shook me.
"KIRSTEN!!" I blinked a couple of times then focused in on the person. Zachy.
I turned away from him and sighed.
"Kirsten I know what I saw yesterday, so please tell me where they all came from." I sighed and still said nothing, well it's not like I was going to say anything, I was a mute..
"Please tell me." I looked at him and he was pleading with me.
I felt tiny tears prick at the corner of my eyes. I quickly blinked them away, and I let a heavy sigh out.
I got out my notebook and pen. I tore out a piece of paper. I wrote down something, then put all my stuff back into my bag. I gave Zachy the note then got up and ran.
Zachy's POV
I saw her get up and run. I took the note she gave me and read it.
I'm sorry Zachy, but I just can't talk about it.
I sighed in anger and ripped the paper up. I watched as shreds of paper fell to the ground. I yelled at nothing then left to head back to my dorm.
Kirsten's POV
I stopped running when I was sure I was far enough away from Zachy. I fell down to my knees and breathed heavily.
That's when all the memories I had been trying to get away from, the ones I had locked up, the ones I still had nightmares about every night.
The memories came so fast that I knew I wouldn't be able to stop them as they consumed me. I held my head in my hands and fell from my knees to the ground into the fetal position.
I cried out knowing that my voice wouldn't work that well from all this time of not using it. My throat was dry. My voice scratchy.
I remembered when people use to compliment me on how beautiful my voice was, now it was nothing but a scratchy abomination to what used to be my lovely voice.
I cried so hard and long that I never thought that I would stop. All I wanted was to black out or faint. Anything to stop these memories from playing through my mind, and my voice playing through my ears.
It felt like days until all the memories were easier to control, and all that I had left were the happier more recent memories of me and what I now call my friends.
I stopped screaming, and slowly took my hands away from head. I sat up and just stared forward at nothing but trees.
I brought my hands up to my face and I felt tears coming down my face. I rubbed at my eyes, and tried wiping away all the evidence of me ever having this horrible break down.
I knew this probably wouldn't help at all, the most it would do was make it worse, but I didn't care I just wanted this to all go away.
I slowly got up and started walking back towards the school. As I walked I noticed that it had gotten dark and there was now a cool breeze blowing around me. The breeze felt wonderful to me, it made me feel somewhat refreshed.
Once I was at my dorm door I quietly entered hoping not to wake up any of my roommates. I tiptoed to my room, and quickly opened and entered my room.
I switched the light on and turned around. I nearly jumped out of my skin at what I saw.
Bianca, Leo, and Zachy were all there sitting around my room waiting for me. They all looked pissed. I looked again and saw that in Leo's lap was Bubba.
I gave a small wave, and when they did nothing, but stare at me I knew I was in deep shit.