Status: Being Revised. Thoughts and Opinions are always welcomed
Alone
Alone
"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?? DO YOU HAVE A FUCKING CLUE OF WHAT TIME IT IS?? WE WERE SO FUCKING WORRIED!!" after Bianca had let out the loudest yell I had ever heard, (I had tried so hard to come in quietly too.), she huffed and started pacing my room waiting for an answer.
I went to grab for my notebook, but Bianca stopped me.
"No I don't want you to write it down, I want to here you speak the words to me of why you were out so flippin late and had me worrying my flippin ass off. I'm tired of you being a damn mute. Now Speak!" she went and sat on the bed and waited.
Her words were harsh, but I couldn't blame her. I had been out too late and I had worried them all. This was all my fault. I wanted to speak I really did, but I couldn't, because the minute I started talking I would tell them everything, and I wasn't ready for that.
I turned away from them, and opened my door for them to leave. They all got the message and got up to leave. Bianca was first she huffed passed me with silent tears streaming down her face. I felt my heart start to break. I had hurt my friend deeply and I never meant too.
Zachy was next to leave, as he passed me he gave me a quick knowing glance then left the dorm after slamming the door.
Leo was last. He put Bubba down, and went to leave, but before he did he stopped and gave me a hug. It was something I needed. When he pulled away he patted my head and went to leave, but I stopped him. I grabbed his shirt sleeve.
He stopped and turned back to me. I hugged him again, and this time I felt the tears come back. I thought I had stopped them all. I thought I was all cried out. I thought I had no more tears to shed.
But I was wrong. I seemed to be wrong a lot through out my life. When I was finally positive that I had no more tears to cry I pulled away from Leo, and saw that his shirt was stained with my tears.
I gave him a sad apologizing smile about his shirt. He waved it off, saying that it was just a shirt and that he can wash it and it would be good as new.
"Are you going to be okay Kirsten?" I was gonna lie and say yes, but I had no more energy and just shook my head no.
I went over and collapsed on my bed. My face was being suffocated by my pillows, but at the moment I didn't care.
I felt the weight of the bed shift as Leo came and sat down. He tried rubbing my back with soothing circles, but that didn't help. He tried giving me soothing words, but that didn't work either.
"I'm sorry Kirsten, but I'm not very good at this." I sighed. My sigh meant that, that was okay.
We fell into a calming silence which I appreciated. Soon though Leo started talking.
"You know she didn't mean it." I raised my head from my pillows and looked at him.
"Bianca I mean. She didn't mean what she said. She was just tired and very frustrated. I'm sure by tomorrow that you two will make up and everything will be back to normal." I sighed and wished that his words could be true.
Things wouldn't be back to normal. Zachy will still want to know about my scars. Bianca and I will be awkward with each other because of the words she left hanging in the air. I was never normal I guess though.
Leo tried saying some more words that would help me, but it wasn't working. I finally just laid down and looked at the ceiling. I felt Leo lay beside me.
"Looking at your ceiling isn't going to solve anything Kirsten." I nodded knowing this was true.
I felt Leo get off the bed and then I was being dragged out of my dorm. I tried stopping so I could write and ask where we were going but he wouldn't let me.
He finally did stop when we reached our destination. The roof.
I looked at him with questioning eyes, and he just shrugged.
"I come up to the roof when I need to think. I think right now would be a good time to think." I nodded.
I followed him over to chairs that I hadn't noticed before. We each took a seat, and this time instead of staring up at the ceiling I was staring up at the night sky.
I thought about all that had happened since I had come to Arine Academy. Most were good happy thoughts, but others were sad and depressing thoughts.
I felt a breeze go over my skin and I shivered. Leo had seen and he tossed me a blanket he had. I thanked him with a head nod and covered myself up.
"Kirsten?" I looked over to Leo, with questioning eyes.
"Why is Zachy mad at you?" My eyes widened a little.
Zachy hadn't told anyone what he saw, but Leo had picked up on the vibes and tension between Zachy and I.
I shrugged my shoulders saying that I had no idea.
"It's okay you don't have to tell me, but don't lie saying you don't know." Wow Leo was good. I nodded to him.
I heard teeth chattering and looked over to see Leo shivering. I looked around for another blanket and saw that I had the only one, and Leo didn't have a jacket. I got out of my seat and scooted it next to Leo's, so that the chairs were now touching. I then spread the blanket between us.
"Thanks." was all Leo said. I nodded then we continued looking at the stars.
I knew that what happened next would only be a one time thing, and that Leo would accept that. I did it so quickly that it was like I hadn't done anything at all.
"Thanks." I said it quiet and I said it quick that I didn't think he heard me, but he answered me with a head nod, and then we continued looking at the stars.
I went to grab for my notebook, but Bianca stopped me.
"No I don't want you to write it down, I want to here you speak the words to me of why you were out so flippin late and had me worrying my flippin ass off. I'm tired of you being a damn mute. Now Speak!" she went and sat on the bed and waited.
Her words were harsh, but I couldn't blame her. I had been out too late and I had worried them all. This was all my fault. I wanted to speak I really did, but I couldn't, because the minute I started talking I would tell them everything, and I wasn't ready for that.
I turned away from them, and opened my door for them to leave. They all got the message and got up to leave. Bianca was first she huffed passed me with silent tears streaming down her face. I felt my heart start to break. I had hurt my friend deeply and I never meant too.
Zachy was next to leave, as he passed me he gave me a quick knowing glance then left the dorm after slamming the door.
Leo was last. He put Bubba down, and went to leave, but before he did he stopped and gave me a hug. It was something I needed. When he pulled away he patted my head and went to leave, but I stopped him. I grabbed his shirt sleeve.
He stopped and turned back to me. I hugged him again, and this time I felt the tears come back. I thought I had stopped them all. I thought I was all cried out. I thought I had no more tears to shed.
But I was wrong. I seemed to be wrong a lot through out my life. When I was finally positive that I had no more tears to cry I pulled away from Leo, and saw that his shirt was stained with my tears.
I gave him a sad apologizing smile about his shirt. He waved it off, saying that it was just a shirt and that he can wash it and it would be good as new.
"Are you going to be okay Kirsten?" I was gonna lie and say yes, but I had no more energy and just shook my head no.
I went over and collapsed on my bed. My face was being suffocated by my pillows, but at the moment I didn't care.
I felt the weight of the bed shift as Leo came and sat down. He tried rubbing my back with soothing circles, but that didn't help. He tried giving me soothing words, but that didn't work either.
"I'm sorry Kirsten, but I'm not very good at this." I sighed. My sigh meant that, that was okay.
We fell into a calming silence which I appreciated. Soon though Leo started talking.
"You know she didn't mean it." I raised my head from my pillows and looked at him.
"Bianca I mean. She didn't mean what she said. She was just tired and very frustrated. I'm sure by tomorrow that you two will make up and everything will be back to normal." I sighed and wished that his words could be true.
Things wouldn't be back to normal. Zachy will still want to know about my scars. Bianca and I will be awkward with each other because of the words she left hanging in the air. I was never normal I guess though.
Leo tried saying some more words that would help me, but it wasn't working. I finally just laid down and looked at the ceiling. I felt Leo lay beside me.
"Looking at your ceiling isn't going to solve anything Kirsten." I nodded knowing this was true.
I felt Leo get off the bed and then I was being dragged out of my dorm. I tried stopping so I could write and ask where we were going but he wouldn't let me.
He finally did stop when we reached our destination. The roof.
I looked at him with questioning eyes, and he just shrugged.
"I come up to the roof when I need to think. I think right now would be a good time to think." I nodded.
I followed him over to chairs that I hadn't noticed before. We each took a seat, and this time instead of staring up at the ceiling I was staring up at the night sky.
I thought about all that had happened since I had come to Arine Academy. Most were good happy thoughts, but others were sad and depressing thoughts.
I felt a breeze go over my skin and I shivered. Leo had seen and he tossed me a blanket he had. I thanked him with a head nod and covered myself up.
"Kirsten?" I looked over to Leo, with questioning eyes.
"Why is Zachy mad at you?" My eyes widened a little.
Zachy hadn't told anyone what he saw, but Leo had picked up on the vibes and tension between Zachy and I.
I shrugged my shoulders saying that I had no idea.
"It's okay you don't have to tell me, but don't lie saying you don't know." Wow Leo was good. I nodded to him.
I heard teeth chattering and looked over to see Leo shivering. I looked around for another blanket and saw that I had the only one, and Leo didn't have a jacket. I got out of my seat and scooted it next to Leo's, so that the chairs were now touching. I then spread the blanket between us.
"Thanks." was all Leo said. I nodded then we continued looking at the stars.
I knew that what happened next would only be a one time thing, and that Leo would accept that. I did it so quickly that it was like I hadn't done anything at all.
"Thanks." I said it quiet and I said it quick that I didn't think he heard me, but he answered me with a head nod, and then we continued looking at the stars.