Status: Being Revised. Thoughts and Opinions are always welcomed
Alone
Alone
Bianca, have you thought about college? I asked Bianca during lunch the next day.
"Well yeah. A lot more this year than any other year since it's my senior year."
I've never thought of it I wrote back to her as a reply.
"Why?" I shrugged my shoulders.
"Well what brought it up to you then?"
My art teacher.
"Hmm, well what did he say?"
He said I could get an early admission with my drawings.
"Wow that's great." I shrugged and nodded in an 'I guess' manor.
"Well then what's the problem, really?"
I've just never really thought about it, I guess. She thought it over for a moment then pulled someone else into the conversation.
"Leo what do you think about college?" She asked him.
"I don't." Was all he said. She sighed and shook her head. She then turned to Zachy.
"Zachy what do you think about college?"
"I think that if I don't get good grades then there is no reason to think about college." She sighed in frustration this time.
"You two are no help what-so-ever!"
"You should have figured that out a long time ago." Zachy replied. I smiled.
"Sorry Kirsten, but it seems like you're going to have to ask someone else for information on this subject." I nodded and finished eating my lunch.
On my way to my English I ran into Chris and decided 'Why the hell not' and showed him the same question I had asked Bianca earlier.
"Kirsten I can't give you a good enough reply in the couple minutes we have during passing time. I'll meet you at that bench from the other day and we can talk about it there." I only nodded and kept on walking to English.
"Hey Kirsten, so how has the college hunt gone?" Leo asked as I sat down beside him.
Not so well. I wrote down then passed him the notebook. He looked at the notebook, wrote something down in the notebook then handed me the notebook.
That sucks. Sorry I wasn't much help earlier.
It's fine.
Good I read the note then nodded towards him.
I tried listening to the teacher as much as I could but college was still on my mind. I don't know why it was bothering me so much, but it was. By the end of class I had no idea what the teacher had said, what the homework was, or what we had learned today. I had to get college out of my head so I wouldn't fail my classes. But that just made me think of it more, because if I failed a class then I wouldn't be able to go to college. But then again I didn't even know if I wanted to go to college or if I could even get in. I put my head in my hands trying to get rid of the head ache that had suddenly appeared. So many thoughts over the same subject were hurting my head. I just needed to stop thinking and relax, and the only way to do that was to get out of the one place that really made me think about college. School.
During break time I escaped school and headed for my dorm. Once there I shut the door, turned the light off, closed the curtains, turned music on but made sure it was on a low volume then I crawled into bed. I felt something move against my leg, so I pulled back the covers and saw Bubba there. I sighed and brought him up to my pillows. I cuddled up to him and tried to fall asleep. But I had thoughts in my head still, they weren't on college anymore though they were on my nightmares.
I still wondered why I had them. I mean they made me go through therapy to talk about everything that had happened, but it never helped. I never tried to talk to the therapist about what I had gone through. He would just talk, and I would listen and nod my head, like I understood everything.
I looked over at Bubba, he had fallen asleep already. I smiled at him and petted him. Looking at how small he was reminded me of my younger ages when my family was still happy. I closed my eyes and started remembering the good times with my parents.
"C'mon Kirsten let's go to the swings." I nodded my head excitedly and my dad and I raced over to the swings. I ran as fast as my 3 year old legs would take me.
I won of course, but only because dad let me. I got onto a swing and he started pushing me. A few moments later my mom was on the swing beside me, and my dad was pushing her as well.
--------------------
"Look what Aunt Julie got you Kirsten." I looked at the dress. It was pretty. With its pinks and purples.
"Thank you Aunt Julie." It was my 4th birthday and all of dad's brothers and sisters had come, including his parents.
"You're very welcome Kirsten." My Aunt Julie said while picking me up and nuzzling my neck. I giggled at that.
----------------------
"Mommy, Daddy, I'm scared can I sleep with you?" I asked as I rubbed the tears from my eyes. It was late at night. I was 6 years old and I was at the age where I thought there were monsters in my room.
"Of course honey, come get in between us." I smiled and ran up to their bed. I had a little trouble getting on, but I finally managed. I crawled in between my parents.
My dad put his arms around me and my mom started brushing the hair away that had fallen in my face. Then she started to sing. She always had the prettiest voice. I slowly fell asleep to the lullaby she sang to me.
I woke up to Bubba licking my face. I shooed him away and sat up in bed. I looked at the time it was 8:00. I sighed and rubbed my face, It was wet. I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror to see my face tear stained. My eyes were red and puffy as well. I had been crying. Once my face was somewhat more decent looking, I took the time to really look at myself, which I hadn't done in a while. My hair was a plain light brown like my fathers, my eyes were big and green like my mothers, my nose and mouth small like my father's mother, I was skinny from not eating enough, and I was short, there wasn't much that was special about me, but I guess that meant I got less attention thrown my way, which I did like.
I sighed to myself and went back to my room. I fell onto my bed with arms spread and just looked at the ceiling.
This just wasn't my day.
"Well yeah. A lot more this year than any other year since it's my senior year."
I've never thought of it I wrote back to her as a reply.
"Why?" I shrugged my shoulders.
"Well what brought it up to you then?"
My art teacher.
"Hmm, well what did he say?"
He said I could get an early admission with my drawings.
"Wow that's great." I shrugged and nodded in an 'I guess' manor.
"Well then what's the problem, really?"
I've just never really thought about it, I guess. She thought it over for a moment then pulled someone else into the conversation.
"Leo what do you think about college?" She asked him.
"I don't." Was all he said. She sighed and shook her head. She then turned to Zachy.
"Zachy what do you think about college?"
"I think that if I don't get good grades then there is no reason to think about college." She sighed in frustration this time.
"You two are no help what-so-ever!"
"You should have figured that out a long time ago." Zachy replied. I smiled.
"Sorry Kirsten, but it seems like you're going to have to ask someone else for information on this subject." I nodded and finished eating my lunch.
On my way to my English I ran into Chris and decided 'Why the hell not' and showed him the same question I had asked Bianca earlier.
"Kirsten I can't give you a good enough reply in the couple minutes we have during passing time. I'll meet you at that bench from the other day and we can talk about it there." I only nodded and kept on walking to English.
"Hey Kirsten, so how has the college hunt gone?" Leo asked as I sat down beside him.
Not so well. I wrote down then passed him the notebook. He looked at the notebook, wrote something down in the notebook then handed me the notebook.
That sucks. Sorry I wasn't much help earlier.
It's fine.
Good I read the note then nodded towards him.
I tried listening to the teacher as much as I could but college was still on my mind. I don't know why it was bothering me so much, but it was. By the end of class I had no idea what the teacher had said, what the homework was, or what we had learned today. I had to get college out of my head so I wouldn't fail my classes. But that just made me think of it more, because if I failed a class then I wouldn't be able to go to college. But then again I didn't even know if I wanted to go to college or if I could even get in. I put my head in my hands trying to get rid of the head ache that had suddenly appeared. So many thoughts over the same subject were hurting my head. I just needed to stop thinking and relax, and the only way to do that was to get out of the one place that really made me think about college. School.
During break time I escaped school and headed for my dorm. Once there I shut the door, turned the light off, closed the curtains, turned music on but made sure it was on a low volume then I crawled into bed. I felt something move against my leg, so I pulled back the covers and saw Bubba there. I sighed and brought him up to my pillows. I cuddled up to him and tried to fall asleep. But I had thoughts in my head still, they weren't on college anymore though they were on my nightmares.
I still wondered why I had them. I mean they made me go through therapy to talk about everything that had happened, but it never helped. I never tried to talk to the therapist about what I had gone through. He would just talk, and I would listen and nod my head, like I understood everything.
I looked over at Bubba, he had fallen asleep already. I smiled at him and petted him. Looking at how small he was reminded me of my younger ages when my family was still happy. I closed my eyes and started remembering the good times with my parents.
"C'mon Kirsten let's go to the swings." I nodded my head excitedly and my dad and I raced over to the swings. I ran as fast as my 3 year old legs would take me.
I won of course, but only because dad let me. I got onto a swing and he started pushing me. A few moments later my mom was on the swing beside me, and my dad was pushing her as well.
--------------------
"Look what Aunt Julie got you Kirsten." I looked at the dress. It was pretty. With its pinks and purples.
"Thank you Aunt Julie." It was my 4th birthday and all of dad's brothers and sisters had come, including his parents.
"You're very welcome Kirsten." My Aunt Julie said while picking me up and nuzzling my neck. I giggled at that.
----------------------
"Mommy, Daddy, I'm scared can I sleep with you?" I asked as I rubbed the tears from my eyes. It was late at night. I was 6 years old and I was at the age where I thought there were monsters in my room.
"Of course honey, come get in between us." I smiled and ran up to their bed. I had a little trouble getting on, but I finally managed. I crawled in between my parents.
My dad put his arms around me and my mom started brushing the hair away that had fallen in my face. Then she started to sing. She always had the prettiest voice. I slowly fell asleep to the lullaby she sang to me.
I woke up to Bubba licking my face. I shooed him away and sat up in bed. I looked at the time it was 8:00. I sighed and rubbed my face, It was wet. I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror to see my face tear stained. My eyes were red and puffy as well. I had been crying. Once my face was somewhat more decent looking, I took the time to really look at myself, which I hadn't done in a while. My hair was a plain light brown like my fathers, my eyes were big and green like my mothers, my nose and mouth small like my father's mother, I was skinny from not eating enough, and I was short, there wasn't much that was special about me, but I guess that meant I got less attention thrown my way, which I did like.
I sighed to myself and went back to my room. I fell onto my bed with arms spread and just looked at the ceiling.
This just wasn't my day.