Status: Being Revised. Thoughts and Opinions are always welcomed
Alone
Alone
You know how when some people are afraid, nervous, or in pain; they think of their "happy place"?
Well that's what I was doing I had screamed my heart out and no one had heard, but the guy put a piece of clothing in my mouth so I couldn't scream anymore.
I had thought that if I had screamed someone would have come in to save me, but I guess that was only in fairy-tales.
I kept having flashes of me and my parents together being happy; that was my happy place.
Then after one memory of my family left me, a new memory came. But this one wasn't of my family. It was of me at the orphanage having fun with the other kids there. And then after that one, another came of me and Bianca, and Zachy, and Leo.
I realized then that my happy places weren't just of my family, but of my friends, and the family they were turning into.
I started crying again. From the realization and from the pain this guy was giving me.
The guy just kept going. I don't think he will ever stop. Even when I thought he was done; he started up again.
It felt like hours before he finally finished. When he did finish he just gave me a sick-goofy smile and fell off the bed. The next thing I heard was snoring.
I just laid there. Thinking about what happened. I had just been raped. I knew I wasn't going to do anything about it. And that was probably the saddest thing about tonight.
I finally got out of the bed. Took the gag out of my mouth. Got my clothes back on. Then I headed back to my dorm.
I walked in and everything was silent and dark. I walked to my room and immediately took my clothes off. They all reminded me too much about tonight. I got my pajamas on and went to bed.
I felt Bubba nibble at my hand and I just stared at him.
He curled into my side and fell asleep. I was jealous of him. He could fall asleep with no worries what-so-ever, unlike me. I was too afraid to fall asleep. Afraid of the nightmares that I knew would haunt me as soon as I closed my eyes.
I looked at the clock. 4:00 a.m. I wasn't going to school, so there was no reason for me to sleep. But after tonight I knew I needed it. So instead I thought of happy things and fell asleep to those things.
I woke up sweaty to an annoying beeping sound. I had the nightmare; just like I knew I would. I still felt the tears from the nightmare running down my face. I shut my alarm off and just stared at the ceiling.
I needed a break. I needed to get away. I got up and got dressed. I grabbed my stuff. I grabbed Bubba and his leash. I left.
I had no idea where I was going, but I knew I had to get away for the day. So I went to the first place that came to mind Rocky's .
I looked around the place. In the little time that I had been here I had been shown Rocky's. Which to me was the coolest place so far. Half the place sold games, books, movies, and music. Then the other half was an ice-cream parlor to relax at. I know it's weird, but I loved it, and they allowed pets, so it was all good.
I looked around more then I fell into one of the bean bags they had out. Bubba came and sat in my lap.
All I felt like doing was crying, until I couldn't cry anymore, but I told myself no. I told myself to be proud, because most girls that got raped wouldn't come out of their rooms for months. I was out the next day and I was trying to get better.
I got up and went over to the music section. I looked at all the CD's and none really caught my attention. So I decided to put on the headphones they had there and listen to the sample music they had.
I was getting ready to take off the headphones when this song came on. I listened to it and felt a lot better. I looked up the information on the song and went to go and look for the CD.
After a couple of minutes of searching; I found it. It was Stripped by Christina Aguilera. I looked on the back to make sure the CD had the song, The Voice Within , it did. So I went to the cashier and paid.
After Bubba and I had gotten some ice-cream we headed back to the dorm. I listened to the whole CD and felt a tinier bit better. But I still was confused, scared, sad, angry, and I didn't know what to do about the raping.
I laid down and soon fell asleep to more nightmares.
Well that's what I was doing I had screamed my heart out and no one had heard, but the guy put a piece of clothing in my mouth so I couldn't scream anymore.
I had thought that if I had screamed someone would have come in to save me, but I guess that was only in fairy-tales.
I kept having flashes of me and my parents together being happy; that was my happy place.
Then after one memory of my family left me, a new memory came. But this one wasn't of my family. It was of me at the orphanage having fun with the other kids there. And then after that one, another came of me and Bianca, and Zachy, and Leo.
I realized then that my happy places weren't just of my family, but of my friends, and the family they were turning into.
I started crying again. From the realization and from the pain this guy was giving me.
The guy just kept going. I don't think he will ever stop. Even when I thought he was done; he started up again.
It felt like hours before he finally finished. When he did finish he just gave me a sick-goofy smile and fell off the bed. The next thing I heard was snoring.
I just laid there. Thinking about what happened. I had just been raped. I knew I wasn't going to do anything about it. And that was probably the saddest thing about tonight.
I finally got out of the bed. Took the gag out of my mouth. Got my clothes back on. Then I headed back to my dorm.
I walked in and everything was silent and dark. I walked to my room and immediately took my clothes off. They all reminded me too much about tonight. I got my pajamas on and went to bed.
I felt Bubba nibble at my hand and I just stared at him.
He curled into my side and fell asleep. I was jealous of him. He could fall asleep with no worries what-so-ever, unlike me. I was too afraid to fall asleep. Afraid of the nightmares that I knew would haunt me as soon as I closed my eyes.
I looked at the clock. 4:00 a.m. I wasn't going to school, so there was no reason for me to sleep. But after tonight I knew I needed it. So instead I thought of happy things and fell asleep to those things.
I woke up sweaty to an annoying beeping sound. I had the nightmare; just like I knew I would. I still felt the tears from the nightmare running down my face. I shut my alarm off and just stared at the ceiling.
I needed a break. I needed to get away. I got up and got dressed. I grabbed my stuff. I grabbed Bubba and his leash. I left.
I had no idea where I was going, but I knew I had to get away for the day. So I went to the first place that came to mind Rocky's .
I looked around the place. In the little time that I had been here I had been shown Rocky's. Which to me was the coolest place so far. Half the place sold games, books, movies, and music. Then the other half was an ice-cream parlor to relax at. I know it's weird, but I loved it, and they allowed pets, so it was all good.
I looked around more then I fell into one of the bean bags they had out. Bubba came and sat in my lap.
All I felt like doing was crying, until I couldn't cry anymore, but I told myself no. I told myself to be proud, because most girls that got raped wouldn't come out of their rooms for months. I was out the next day and I was trying to get better.
I got up and went over to the music section. I looked at all the CD's and none really caught my attention. So I decided to put on the headphones they had there and listen to the sample music they had.
I was getting ready to take off the headphones when this song came on. I listened to it and felt a lot better. I looked up the information on the song and went to go and look for the CD.
After a couple of minutes of searching; I found it. It was Stripped by Christina Aguilera. I looked on the back to make sure the CD had the song, The Voice Within , it did. So I went to the cashier and paid.
After Bubba and I had gotten some ice-cream we headed back to the dorm. I listened to the whole CD and felt a tinier bit better. But I still was confused, scared, sad, angry, and I didn't know what to do about the raping.
I laid down and soon fell asleep to more nightmares.