Let's See What You're Not

Shim

My day surprisingly got better after that. I expected loads of people to be teasing me and talking about how I was crying earlier, but no one was. I'm not sure if it’s because some people are actually nice, or if it’s just that less people noticed than I thought (most likely the second one), but either way I'm glad that today’s going well now.

The only downside was that I didn't see Mark all day. There wasn't anything I really wanted to talk about with him or anything like that. I mean, have you ever noticed me wanting to talk to someone? No? That’s because I don’t want to speak to people. Obviously. But even though I didn't have any reason to want him here, I still did. I missed him today if I'm honest. It wasn't just him who was off though. Emma was as well. Although she annoys the hell out of me most of the time, she’s never purposely been mean to me without good reason and I’ve kind of missed her nagging presence in lessons. Very weird. I missed two people today.

A thought just hit me. (Shocker) They’re both not in. What if they’re both not in together? I'm not sure why but I really want to know why they’re off now. Who else do they hang round with? Oh, wait, no one.

Mark’s close to it but I'm not asking him why they’re off.

Looks like I'm just going to have to wonder.

You don’t think they’re...?

You know...

Together together?

Mark and Emma have always been close and I know they’ve never fallen out. Why didn't I think of this sooner? I bet they’re a couple! Mark’s been leading me on all this time when he’s got a bloody girlfriend!

Not that I care.

And crap, did I say leading me on?

I didn't mean it like that. He hasn’t led me on because that would mean he’s faking to be interested in me, which he isn't because he isn't acting interested anyway. Plus it would imply that I really like him and that I think he likes me back. That’s wrong on both counts because he doesn't like me and I don’t like people full stop.

School was okay today and I tried to do the work as well. In fact, tonight I'm planning on heading into the library, by the beach, so I actually have somewhere to do my homework. Imagine how shocked my teachers will be when I actually hand work in for once. They’d think I was pranking them or something!

I was in a great mood, until I got to the pier. I was only walking that way because I wanted to have a little nosy round Mark’s (don’t ask), but I really regret doing it now. It’s worse than Frizz and Black Beard this time; much, much worse.

“N’aww look at you with a smile on your face,” he laughed as he walked over to me.

As soon as I knew it was him the smile was gone and there was no chance of it coming back.

“Stay away from me,” I hissed before attempting to push past him.

When my body pushed against his he grabbed onto me and held me against him. I tried to struggle out of his grip but that was just making it worse.

“Oh, owww, Shimon,” he moaned teasingly, making me realize that the way I was trying to get away from him was disgusting.

“Grow up Casper,” I hissed, trying one last time to push him off me.

I don’t want his arms around me. I don’t want him near me at all!

“Come back to mine,” he smiled.

“No.”

Why would I want to go his? I know full well what he wants and there’s no chance he’s getting it. I'm not gay and I was certain he wasn't either. I bet this is some joke or a set up. Knowing him he’s plotting something that will make other people start thinking I'm gay or that I tried to rape him or some crap like that.

I wouldn't rape anyone.

I haven’t raped anyone.

“I think you’re forgetting something,” he hissed into my ear. “I. Own. You.”

The good mood has gone. Shim’s gone. He’s going to make me go with him and I won’t be able to stop him because I'm too weak to do anything.

“Why are you doing this?” I asked him shamefully.

“You know why. It’s fun messing with you, plus you need to be punished,” he said with a wink.

I forced my hands into a fist and tensed up completely. He promised he wouldn't bring that up. He promised no matter how bad things got between us, he wouldn't mention that.

“Your word means nothing,” I spat. “Even if I do what you want you’ll still bring that up again or tell the whole school that I'm on the streets. I can’t trust anything you say so why the hell should I do anything for you?”

He laughed at me before shaking his head.

“I’m a man of my word,” he smirked. “You do what I want, I keep my mouth shut.”

Liar. He just keeps on lying. How can someone lie so much? How’s it even possible? He’s already broke his first promise. He said I needed to be ‘punished’ and there’s only one thing he could be on about and that’s the thing he said he’d never talk about again.

“I'm not going with you,” I told him firmly.

I know all of this is useless though. He’ll get what he wants...he always does.

“Fine. You come with me, no funny business, and I’ll not only keep my mouth shut, but I’ll give you money. How’s that sound?” he smiled at me. “I know how much you hobo type need money.”

I'm not a charity.

I'm not that desperate for cash.

I'm standing my ground.

There’s no chance I'm falling for this!

“F-fine,” I stuttered, before biting down on my lip.

“Good. My car’s just there,” he grinned we climbed into his dad’s Ferrari. He always tells people it’s his but I know it’s not. His dad doesn't even let him drive it so I know he’ll be in trouble when he finds out. I’d love to be the one to tell him. His dad wouldn't believe me though... His whole family hate me and think I’m a dirty liar. They obviously don’t know their own son that well if they call me that.

“You haven’t been mine in ages,” he sighed as we stopped at a set of traffic lights.

I didn't want to be at his the last time I was there either.

His parents and my parents are good friends so when we were younger we had to spend a lot of time together. Their friendship also meant that my mum told his mum about everything that went on with my auntie. Casper eventually found out about it all too. He tried talking to me about it but I just shut him out. He obviously thought it was true so from that point on he made my life hell.

“What do you want Casper?” I asked him.

“Pay back,” he smirked. “I know what you are and it disgusts me Shim.”

“So that’s why you forced me to do that in the toilets then? That makes sense,” I said with a roll of my eyes.

If he finds me that disgusting why did he force me to give him a god damn blow-job? Seriously. And some people say that I have issues!

“Giving you a taste of your own medicine is all. Literally,” he chuckled.

“You don’t know anything Casper,” I muttered.

“I know you raped your auntie,” he snapped. “Forcing a woman into anything is seriously wrong. You should be locked up for life for something as sick as that. Incest as well! Do you have no respect?!”

There was no chance he’d understand. I'm not explaining myself to him either. No one gets it. No one believes me.

When Casper found out, he was my best friend. Even my best friend didn't believe me. He thought I was mad enough to do something like that. I'm not that sick!

“Don't question me,” I hissed, glaring out the window.

“Ha, I have every right to question you. You don’t have any respect for others do you? Your parents were right to do what they did.”

“How exactly?!” I asked him sharply, feeling tears in my eyes. I blinked them back but it didn't change how emotional I felt.

“You don’t deserve family,” he spat. “You’re scum. I'm glad we were wrong about you though. My family and your mum and dad thought you’d have your life back on track or be staying with a friend by now. They know you though; did they seriously think you had friends? I'm so glad you’re on the streets.”

I'm happy on the streets. I’m a lot happier living out here than I’d be stuck in a house with people who hate me or locked in a cell for something I didn't even do. I don’t hate living on the streets. It obviously has a lot of downsides, but I feel a lot safer here than I would do if I was back in that house with them.

“My mum and dad are out,” Casper told me. “I’ve called my brother over for a bit though, remember him?”

It’s impossible to forget Rob. He’s massive. The guy’s a pro fighter and Casper’s suggesting what I think he is then I should be terrified. One punch from Rob could quite possibly kill me. I really don’t need that. I'm not in the mood for dying right now... It could solve a lot of my problems but I’ve decided I want to give this life thing a chance first.

“Are you actually trying to kill me?” I asked him, sounding as calm as I could in this situation.

“No,” he smirked. “I told my brother what you did and he’s helping me get back at you.”

“Beating me up won’t change anything. You’ll still think I did it and I’ll still be innocent.”

“You’re far from innocent. I can’t believe you even said that,” he hissed, looking over at me with disgust on his face. “Rob recently came out. I don’t care that he’s gay. It’s a good thing when you think about it. You raped your auntie and I'm too straight to get back at you that way. Rob on the other hand...” he smiled.

I didn't care that we were in a moving vehicle. I was willing to take my chances now. I quickly turned and started trying to open the door but Casper had already locked it. My heart rate quickened. This can’t be happening.

“I’ll call the police,” I told him bluntly.

“You don’t have a phone Shim,” he smirked.

“I know where the station is though,” I reminded him. “If you set this up you and your brother will end up in prison and you know it.”

“You’re not reporting it though are ya?” he grinned.

Of course I'm going to report it! If his brother lays his fat hands on me I'm getting the cops involved as soon as.

“I'm sure we could report you as well Shim,” he smiled. “Plus I know you’re not a snitch. You’ve never ratted me out. I bet you haven’t even told anyone about the thing in the toilets. If you go to the police on us now, Rob will make sure you regret it.”

Threats! He’s threatening me.

Before he had chance to go on any further, we pulled up onto his massive driveway. I can still get away. I know I can. As soon as he unlocks the door I’ll make a run for it.

“There’s Rob!” he laughed, looking on as his brother stormed out of the house.

Casper grabbed hold of my arm and unlocked the door just as Rob opened the one next to me.

I'm so screwed.

“Let go of me!” I screamed as Rob pulled me out of the car and lifted me into his arms. “I didn’t do it! I swear!”