Let's See What You're Not

Shim

The older man stood over me with a devious look on his face. It was his turn and I knew exactly what he meant by that. He wanted to touch me; he wanted to feel me.

I stared up at him from where I was lying on the bed, completely naked. I never thought it was right for someone to see you like that, but Aunt Jenny told me it was fine... She said this was normal. To her this was our secret game. It made me feel bad though. I was so exposed. They knew every inch of my body and what to do with it. I didn't want them knowing that... I didn't want them doing that.

Nick dropped down on top of me and placed a sloppy kiss onto my lips. I kissed him back, not knowing what else to do. Aunt Jenny taught me well. She was a great teacher for me; she showed me how to make sure the other person enjoys our game as well.

I felt Nick laughing against my lips as the door opened and Aunt Jenny walked in. I laughed along with him because I didn't want him thinking I didn't get the joke.

“Aww Shimon,” she cooed, looking over at me.

I smiled awkwardly at her.

“He’s being a good boy for me tonight, aren’t you kiddo?” Nick told her, rolling off me for a few seconds and kissing my auntie on the lips.

There’s something about kisses on the lips that I find weird. They’re sort of disgusting. Other than the pain I go through when Nick tells me to ‘brace myself’, I think it’s the worst part of our little games. It’s not as bad with my Auntie though. I trust her more than Nick. It hurts when I play with him.

“Come sit on my knee Shimmy,” Aunt Jenny instructed me.

I quickly pushed passed Nick and went over to her. She grinned at me as her and Nick exchanged a look that I didn't understand. I smiled at them anyway, wanting them to think I was smarter than I was.

“You’re getting big now aren’t you?” she smirked as she looked me up and down.

I grinned a toothy grin at her. That’s why I love spending time with my Auntie; she treats me right and makes me feel good.

My skin crawled as she started rubbing her thumb against my inner thigh. It sent shivers through my entire body.

“You like that?” she asked me, whispering into my ear.

I shivered again.

“Y-yeah,” I lied, knowing it would upset her if I told her the truth.

“How old are you now Shimon?” Nick asked me.

“T-twelve,” I moaned out as my Auntie’s hand grabbed around me.

“Good boy,” she cooed at me, applying more and more pressure.

My eyes shot open. Not that...

Why?

I could barely breathe anymore. I was about to let the tears stream down my face but I quickly remembered where I was. I'm stuck in a tent, sharing a sleeping bag with Mark. There no chance I'm letting myself cry now. He’s fast asleep at the moment but I can’t risk it. He already knows more than I want him to. If he sees me like this things will get even more complicated.

I tried closing my eyes again but as soon as I did I had to force them open. It was happening again. I can’t let it happen.

Instead of going back to sleep, because I knew I’d just mess myself up even more if I did, I just lay there, staring up at the tent ceiling. It’s stopped raining now so I could probably get away with sneaking out. I’d end up waking Mark as I tried to get out of this stupid thing though, but for some reason, I don’t want to hurt his feelings. If I leave now, he’d hate me.

I pushed those thoughts aside and let myself think about other things. I was warmer than before; thanks to Mark. It’s his fault that I had that dream though, I'm sure of it, but he’s also responsible for saving my life. I can’t be annoyed with him for that.

When the tent became boring to look at, I turned back to watch Mark. He looked so relaxed as he slept. It was cute. I'm not sure why I expected otherwise, but he seems so free of worry and fears. I haven’t fallen asleep like that since I was nine years old. There’s always been something there for me to be scared off; a reason for me to keep one eye open...

“Let go!” I yelled as Rob dragged me into his house.

Casper followed in after us, jumping up and down and cheering like the freak he is.

“Screw him up Robbie!” he shouted as Rob wrapped his arms around me.

Through the whole time I was near him, I kept having flashbacks of Nick and Aunt Jenny. It made the whole thing even worse.

After a few seconds, Rob pushed me back against the wall, making me slam the back of my head against it. I closed my eyes tightly, fighting back the pain as best I could.

“He’s so skinny,” Rob told his brother in a firm voice.

“Break him then,” Casper laughed.

Asshole.

“He’s already broken,” Rob mumbled as he lifted me up onto my feet. I opened my eyes again and looked at him. His eyes looked apologetic.

“What the hell Rob?” Casper shouted, pure rage strengthening his voice.

“Leave me out of your crap, Casper,” he spat. “I'm not raping someone for your stupid revenge. I doubt he even did anything,” he whispered the last part before supporting my weight as we walked over to the front door.

“Why are you helping him?!” Casper shouted as his brother walked me outside. “He raped his own auntie!”

Rob slammed the door in his face.

Thank you.

“Go home, Shim,” he told me harshly. “Do whatever you’ve got to do...Just stay away from Casper. He doesn't need you in his life right now.”

I looked up at him with innocent eyes. I wasn't angry anymore, I wasn't even scared. To be completely honest, I couldn’t feel anything. Even the pain in the back of my head was gone now. I was fine.

For a few seconds, I was fine...

“Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.”

I growled under my breath as I heard Mark snoring.

What I said before about him being cute when he sleeps, I take it back. He’s more annoying asleep than he is when he’s awake.

Second thoughts, I take that back too. Mark’s not annoying, he just cares. Do I need someone to care though? Do I need him?

“Shhh,” I whispered, smiling at myself because I knew he wouldn't hear me.

“Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.”

For God’s sake! He’s actually mocking me now.

“Mark, shut up,” I mumbled in my sleep deprived state.

I froze when he let out a deep moan. Okay, what the hell? I better not be listening in on some porn dream. Eww. Now that would be awkward.

He suddenly rolled over on top of me. I winced as his weight dropped onto me. Either I'm weaker than I think I am, or he’s heavier than he looks, because this is killing me right now.

“Mark,” I moaned, trying to push him off me.

“Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.”

Brilliant.

After enduring a few minutes of pain he put his pressure onto his side instead of me. He was still pretty much on top of me, but it wasn't hurting anymore so I was fine with it. I smiled to myself when I thought about it like that. I'm not freaking out over being so close to Mark. Hell, he’s practically lying on top of me right now, but I'm not having those stupid flashbacks. I'm thinking about it still, but I'm not bothered right now. I'm fine...

I decided to relax for the first time in months. I can actually let my guard down around him, even if he’s too unconscious to notice I'm doing it.

I closed my eyes and I drifted off to sleep. It wasn't like any other times I’ve had though, I actually slept.

It was amazing.