The Trouble of Taboo

I drove slowly towards the shopping centre. I was not in the right mind set to experience shopping or for being around Lucy. I was well aware of my extensive feelings for Paige; however, could I cancel my engagement for that? I had been acquainted with Lucy since university. We had seemed like a good match, but recently she seemed to irritate me more than anything and the bedroom department had deteriorated massively. Lately, for any happy endings it required me reminiscing about Paige. I would close my eyes and pretend I was with her; it did not bode well for a life-long marriage.

I arrived at the shopping centre, parked and headed towards where Lucy was waiting. My mood soured even more when I saw her. I wanted to retreat as far away as was possible. Her attire reflected that she was deliberately going too far; not even the most desperate of men were giving her any attention. I immediately reflected on Paige and her easy, thrown together but perfect look and attempted to allow that image calm me.

Lucy caught sight of me and waved “I’m here baby.” Well obviously. How could I not observe her when she had decided to dress in such a way: a much too small skirt and knee-high boots on what was a relatively cold day? I sauntered to her and forced a smile onto my face.

“Hello.” Was all I could think of to say. She pulled me into an embrace and instantly, I compared her body to Paige’s: Lucy’s came off worse.

“Hay, baby. Have a good day?” She enquired. I nodded as she began to manhandle me into what I knew would be the first of many shops. I could not understand why I had to be here; she ignored my opinions on the matter. I longed for something small and quaint; she demanded a big affair where all of the attention would be on her. It made my stomach turn. It seemed that to her our wedding was about the appearance, as if this was a high school prom and not the rest of our lives. As if that was not enough, she insisted on everything being extremely feminine, which included my tuxedo. “Neil!” I heard that grating voice pierce my thoughts and I turned to look at her, barely having time to cover my obvious disgust.

“Yes?” I demanded. I was exhausted and just wanted to retire at home and reflect on my dealings with Paige.

“What is up with you lately baby? You’ve been all distant and non-committal. Are you having second thoughts? Cause that’s normal baby. I know you love me and I want to marry you.” She carried on and my anger grew exponentially. Apparently, she was privy to how I felt but only seemed to want me as someone to marry. I had officially had enough.

“No. I am not okay! I am tired of being part of a relationship that carries no meaning. Especially one with a person who does not know anything about me or how to express love towards anyone except herself and her shoes! I am retiring home and I do not want to be in this relationship anymore. I am calling this whole sordid affair off!” I half yelled. I no longer cared that I was making a scene. I turned to walk away, when Lucy grabbed my wrist. “What?” I asked, resigned that I could not even leave on my own terms.

“You don’t mean that baby, you’re just stressed. Go home and I’ll stay at my parent’s. We’ll talk tomorrow.” She said and walked off towards the shops. I rubbed my face; I could not even terminate the relationship without her controlling me and turning it back around to what she wanted. I stalked off to my car and drove home. I felt glad to know I would have my house to myself tonight at least, although I would have much preferred to have Paige alongside me. I was halfway home when my phone rang; I pulled over and answered it.

Paige’s POV

I walked home slowly, smiling and then worrying. Today had been emotionally exhausting: not only had I passed out, but Neil knew about my problem and I didn’t like someone knowing. Admittedly, I was glad it was him and not someone else but still it worried me. Then I remembered the way he had kissed me after school, how I had kissed him back and he’d not looked as if he regretted it at all, which made me happier. However, could I really get my hopes up on him again? He did still have a fiancé and was still my teacher; we couldn’t be together, not properly. Who knew being a Year 10 could be such a pain in the ass? I slid in through the side door and went straight to my room collapsing on my bed to try and sort my head out.

It had been about half six when I’d finally gotten home, which was really late for me, but I didn’t care it was worth it to have been able to spend time with Neil. I closed my eyes and imagined his face the way it was earlier: looking into my eyes and smiling at me as if I were a goddess; he really did make me feel special. I suddenly sat up, crap! I hadn’t gotten that piece of paper out of my exercise book. I had gotten too distracted by Neil. Shit! What was I going to do?

I was freaking out when my bedroom door slammed open. I realised that, for the first time since I had put the lock on my door when I was 7, I hadn’t locked it. I looked towards my door and saw my father stood there.

“Where have you been? You were late hooome. I was waittiing fooor you. I was worried.” He stuttered. He was drunk. I instantly scooted back as far away from him as possible. My heart was thudding with fear as he stepped into my room and shut and locked the door.

“I was late leaving school.” I said my voice surprisingly calm. “Why are you here?” I asked him, trying to stand my ground.

“Whaaat do you meeean? I’m here to see my lovely dau*hiccup*ghter of course.” He stumbled towards me. I could feel myself shaking with every step he took towards me.

“You should go...go lie down.” I told him, trying not to stutter with fear at what was about to happen. He laughed and shook his head.

“Well come join me then Paiige.” He said as he pulled me towards him and down onto my bed. I knew he could feel that I was shaking. I saw him smirk at it. Smirk at knowing he still could scare me.

“No, please don’t.” I begged him, my voice wavering now that the full set of fear had set in. I tried to push him off of me but even drunk he was stronger than me.

“Now, now Paigge. Be a good girl for daddy.” He slurred at me, ripping my top off and leaving me in my bra. He leered at my chest. “I think you’ve grown since last time.” He grinned at me.

“Please don’t dad. This is sick, you’re sick. Just leave me alone.” I said trying to push him off of me over and over again.

“Now, now! That’s no way to talk to your daddy; especially when he’s about to give you such an amazing present. And say thank you when I compliment you bitch!” He yelled at me in that gross sickly voice he had and slapped my face. I could feel the tears rolling down my face.

“No! Get off of me. I won’t let you use me to make yourself feel like a better, bigger man!” I yelled at him and he rebounded from the force of it. I took my chance. I pushed him off of me with one great bit push, ignoring the pain in my wrist. I scrambled off of my bed and rushed to the door. My fingers wouldn’t grasp the key properly. I felt my father grab my leg. I kicked him off and heard him gasp. I managed to unlock the door and I ran right out of the house and down the street. I pulled out my phone and the piece of paper and rang the number. “Please answer, please Neil, please” I sobbed to myself.

“Hello, Neil here.” I heard his voice and broke down completely. “Paige?” He asked his voice concerned. I took a few deep breaths.

“Is it okay if you come get me please?” I asked him hurriedly, trying not to show I was still crying.

“Certainly. Where are you, Paige?” He asked me and I looked around trying to figure out where I was. I had calmed down enough to be able to talk properly.

“Umm, I’m not sure. Not far from my house. Oh, I think I see the cinema.” I told him, glad that the town was so small that such a thing was a good landmark.

“Okay, I am on my way. Stay there. I will be there shortly.” He told me and hung up, but not before I heard a car starting and the wheels screeching. I hoped he was being careful. I walked to the cinema, so he’d be able to find me easily and just waited for him, tears silently falling down my face.

Neil’s POV

I could hardly think I was so worried. I could not remember ever hearing Paige that upset. Not even earlier when she was scared of me trying to look at her wrist. I was petrified as to what could have happened. I applied my foot to the gas pedal and sped to the cinema. Luckily, I was not too far.

I arrived at the cinema and instantly noticed Paige. She was stood there in just her jeans and brassiere. I abandoned my car not even cutting the engine. I grabbed my jacket and rushed to her. I instantly placed my jacket around her and she slipped it on.

“Thanks,” she mumbled. I embraced her and could feel that she was freezing even through my jacket. My arm remained around her as I guided her towards my car. I placed her into the passenger’s seat and flew around to the other side. I sat in my seat and looked at her, her eye makeup was smudged and her hair looked as if she had been pulled through a hedge; somehow, she still managed to look beautiful, especially in my jacket. I admonished myself knowing that now was certainly not the time.

“Paige? What happened?” I asked carefully, my hand lightly rested on her shoulder and made her jump. I went to retreat my hand but she grabbed hold of it. Tears were falling down her face and I pulled her to me, kissing the side of her head. “Paige, Paige, dear. It is okay.” I tried to reassure her as I rubbed my hand down her back, pulling her close to me as she sobbed.

It took her a few minutes to calm herself, but eventually her sobs slowed and she pulled away. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to soak your shirt.” She told me. I laughed out of shock and shook my head.

“It is more than okay. Are you okay, Paige?” I asked, my voice full of concern again. She shook her head.

“It was my father, he tried to umm...” She trailed off her voice wavering, but it was clear what she was going to say, after all with what she had been wearing, what else could it be.

“It is okay. I understand. Do not worry. I would like to bring you home with me, if that is acceptable to you? You can stay there.” I told her, lifting her face to look at me. I noticed a red mark on her cheek. I brushed it lightly; the bastard must have hit her. I inhaled deeply as I tried to reign in my anger at what this man had done to my Paige... except she was not MY Paige, and she could not be because of our situation. I exhaled quietly, but smiled at her, I wanted nothing more than to make her feel better.

“But...” She started and I looked at her. “What about your fiancé?” She asked me; suddenly, standing up to Lucy earlier had become the most brilliant of events.

“She will not be residing there. It will not be an issue. There is nothing to worry about.” I replied, smiling and she smiled back at me. I moved her hair away from her face and stroked her cheek gently. She was so beautiful and she would be remaining with me tonight. My smile grew. The weekend ahead had suddenly become a lot more appealing.