For Someone Like You

I woke up from Devin’s obnoxiously loud alarm, then began to sing along with it – Artist Vs. Poet’s cover of Mean – and a cranky Dev was forced to rise out of her slumber and smack her phone until it shut up.

“…All you are is mean. And pathetic, and a fucking whore! And mean!”

A pillow was hurled at my face and forced me to stop.

“Having two annoying alarms does wake me up at least,” She moaned.

“…Someday, I’ll be livin’ in a big ol’ city and all you’re ever gunna be is –”

“Shut the fuck up, Alex.”

“Time for school! Time for school!” I hopped onto my feet.

“I can’t today, okay?” Devin covered her face with her pillow. “This bed is too comfortable.”

“Well I’m glad you always get the royal treatment,” I leapt on her bed, beginning to hop on it. “College in an hour! Gotta get to your internship! Going to the studio! Learning stuff! Whoo!”

“Five more minutes.”

“Come on, I’ll make pancakes.”

“Get out of the room, I’m going to get changed.”

“Wear something Stephen would like!” I called somewhat quietly as I exited the room.

I knew that John was most likely awake and reading already, and Brian was a heavy sleeper. Jess was at the back of the hall and Josh’s room was as far away from ours as possible, so I could be a little loud.

John appeared in the hallway next to me in his boxers. “Did she change her alarm yet?”

“No, but she expects pancakes.”

“She can wait. Come on.”

He and I stood at opposite sides of her door and waited for her to emerge.

“Someday, I’ll be livin’ in a big ol’ city and all you’re ever gonna be is mean… Yeahh!” We sang together dramatically.

“Why you gotta be so mean…” D grumbled, crossing her arms. “Pancakes now.”

“On it!” I raced to the kitchen and noisily prepared breakfast for six.

Before I was done cooking, the rest of the house entered the kitchen, either because the smell of food or John waking them up. We had a nice, family-dinner-type conversation, and soon Devin was walking out of the door.

After an hour or so of playing Mario Kart, Stephen, John and Jess had to leave, and Brian begged to be a part of something. They didn’t complain, then waved at Josh and I.

Josh was hard to get along with at first, but after a week of living together, he and I bonded over stories and small doses of alcohol – Josh would go out during the day and buy me a bottle of something new. I developed a taste for something brightly colored and weak, so he usually brought home something of the sort. We’d spend the night while the others were sleeping or reading to watch TV, listen to records in “his” room, and drinking lightly. He was a lot more complex than one would think after recently meeting him and surprisingly intelligent; something I admired greatly.

We talked about traveling, people we’d met, being in love, hatred, family, lust (he’d taken to calling me Mother Mary because of my lack of interesting stories), and as we lied on his bed for the day, our conversation turned to my departure from Michigan.

After a quick dinner and a call from Stephen saying they’d be late, we retired back into his room and both opened our second bottles of hard lemonade and sharing a large mixed drink. He confided in me about his cheating experiences, and I opened myself to telling him a secret.

I started by telling him about Dev and I’s first experience with I See Stars, how we got to work for AP tour back in 2011. Then, I went on to let him know about the day we spent with them the year before, when Devin had fallen madly in love with their cute, shy guitarist and how I’d practically done the same for their… uhm, graceful, strange screamer/keyboardist. When I graduated from high school, D and I moved closer to them. I got a job cutting hair as soon as we moved into our apartment and got us both internships at a local radio station through people we knew in Grand Rapids. We lived in a much nicer apartment than the one in LA, though it was just as small and in a much more out-of-the-way area.

Devin wanted to move in with Jimmy as they became more serious, leaving me to pay the bills by myself, going against my semi-Dave-Ramsey type savings pattern when I had to live paycheck to paycheck without a roommate. Zach and I weren’t exactly in love, nor was our relationship the healthiest, but he wanted a place to crash and I needed money. He moved in within three weeks.

The first month was fine, until I started noticing the little bit of money I’d saved from tips for concerts was missing. I addressed the problem, but he swore up and down that he hadn’t touched it. Of course, I’m the trusting type, so I shrugged it off and considered the possibility of me sleepwalking and hiding it from myself.

Zach and Jimmy left for tour afterward, but was only gone for three weeks and left me with most of the rent money he’d owe me. He came home from an after party – either drunk or high off of whatever they served.

He let me know that he had slept with a dozen or so girls while he was gone – getting into greasy details about his threesome. He laughed at the fact that I’d never get any, then let me know how terrible of a musician I was and that he’d never love me – he just enjoyed the fact I was cheap to live with and that he could… use me.

I ignored his fit of rage, pinning his aggression on whatever he had consumed that night. I told him goodnight but locked myself in the bedroom, crying. I tried calling my friends Chris and Jonah – but no answer. I texted D, letting her know I was leaving for GR if he kept it up.

To say the least, it did.

He had never hurt me physically, nor did he usually skip a check. But the way he treated me was inhumane. I packed up, flipped him off with no intention of apologizing, and got into my car for a two and a half hour drive.

I stayed with my friend David until my parents opened up my old room for me, then I got another job cutting hair, religiously forcing every penny into a savings account. I couldn’t get another internship at the radio station I loved, the radio host that I knew moved temporarily and the rest of the radio’s employees didn’t really care about my situation and my passion for music.

To make up for the lack of music in my life, I took up playing the drums at an old friend from high school’s studio. Soon, I was teaching David how to play. He became even better than me, and we decided to form a band. We joined forces with my friends Christopher on guitar and Jonah with his bass. Though we booked many shows at local places including the one D and I spent half of my senior year driving to and from. We had a secure fanbase, but I received a call from Devin asking if I wanted to move to LA with her. I packed up and left as soon as she was accepted into the college she was in.

“So Devin is with someone,” Josh stated at the end. “But Brian…”

“She’s not really with him. Jimmy really hates being so far away,” I told him, annoyed. “They’re not together. They haven’t even talked much since we left.”

“Stephen’s into her too,” Josh pondered. “Somehow, we could…”

“I like that all you got out of me spilling my heart out to you is that my best friend is single,” I snorted. “I haven’t told anyone about Zach other than Dev and David…”

“What he did was unforgivable. It sucks that you sacrifice so much for your friends and they take advantage of you,” He raised an eyebrow at me.

“Thank you,” I huffed.

“Wait, you were in a band, too?”

“Yeah. Jonah and Chris had both been begging me for years. David just made sense, considering how good of friends we’d always been. We were really good, but I wanted to travel. I’ve always dreamed about coming to LA.”

“I’m sure we could somehow bring you guys on tour with us if you guys really were good.”

I grinned sarcastically. “Totally, Jonah and David would love to drop out of college and Chris would love to leave his girlfriend.”

He sniffed. “Come on, Mother Mary. Everyone wants to take risks and explore.”

“I guess you’re right. I mean, look at how big of a risk I took…”

“Yeah, you’re a rebel.”

“I might as well do something crazy,” I laughed.

“Want me to buy you a pack of cigarettes, kid?” Josh asked, jokingly. “You can start being a rebel now, I have to get more anyway.”

“Not my thing… But I wouldn’t pass up a cigar.”

“Wait, what?” He chuckled. “You’re serious?”

I shrugged. “I don’t do many crazy things. Doesn’t mean I don’t do stupid shit.” I smiled. “Watermelon or mango Phillies, please.”

“So polite… But I’m not going to even try to remember that.” He grumbled. “Just come with me.”

I grinned and stood. “Why wait?”
He stood up as well and walked to the door. When we reached the outside, I felt a chill run down my spine and latched onto his arm. He looked down at me, but didn’t push me away.

“We could run,” Josh proposed. “I don’t feel like driving.”

“I can’t run,” I reminded him. “I could drive you.”

“Let’s just walk. Not like we have anything to do anyway.”

I shrugged. “You’re right. Everyone’s asleep.”

We walked down the driveway and took a left, then I was distracted by a soft booming sound from the Summer Set’s neighbor’s house. I walked slower for a moment, straining my eyes to see what was going on.

“They’re having a party,” Josh explained, pulling my arm to let me know I was walking slower than he wanted me to. “They’re fun, but it’s just them and a few girls today.”

“That’s lame, they should invite you.”

“We went a few days before you moved in. Not enough alcohol and too many old video games,” He smirked. “We met them through some friends, actually. Some warriors.”

I raised an eyebrow but didn’t make him explain. I simply kept my arms wrapped around his right bicep and focused my buzzed brain on putting one foot in front of the other.

We reached a slightly sketchy-looking party store not too long after, one that Josh knew well, apparently. He laughed and pointed at the front row of merchandise – any type of old, dirty magazine you could imagine – then stepped in front of the counter to ring a service bell.

A large, comic book store owner-looking man emerged from the back room with the obvious stretch of marijuana wafting in the air that escaped with him. My eyes watered slightly, but I blinked back the feeling.

“What can I do ya’ for?” He asked, rubbing his neck and leaning on the counter.

Josh told the man for what he wanted casually, then I pointed at what I felt like. After we’d received what we asked for, Jobe flashed his ID. After a second, he paused to ask the man for fancy-looking alcohol with little golden flakes floating in it. The cashier waved as we walked out, Josh opening the bottle as he left. 

He took a swig, then offered me some – even though I was slightly underage, I didn’t say no. The alcohol was extremely strong and instantly caused a burning as it slipped down my throat and warmed my stomach. I shivered slightly.

“You won’t hold this well at all,” Josh chuckled. “You’re a lightweight to begin with. Here, Mother Mary, take your cancer stick.”

I grinned and took the cigar out of its plastic case, causing a ‘pop’ to sound. I held it up for him to light and he obliged. I took a large drag of smoke into my mouth, then blew it into the air above me.

"You think you're so damn classy... but that only costs three dollars," He laughed at me.

"At least I'm not coating my lungs with tar and plutonium," I smirked back.

"Plutonium? Really?" He asked. "Well... fuck... but you can get mouth cancer."

"It's as big of a risk getting mouth cancer from smoking cigars as it is sucking dick."

"Guess that means you have less of a chance then most women," Josh smirked.

"Not entirely," I said defensively. "I've had my share of -"

"I can't see someone so innocent getting on their knees."

I took the bottle from his hand and took a few big gulps; I needed courage for what I was about to do. "By the end of the night, I'll prove I'm not as good of a girl as you think I am... If I don't, I'll shut the hell up when you call me Mary."

"And with whom are you thinking of?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Either we crash your neighbors' party if they're hott or I'll settle with you."

It took my now drunk brain that long to realize we were walking down our street.

"As I said, we weren't invited." Josh took another swig, as well. "That leaves you with me."

"Sweet, I guess." I stared simply, continuing to walk, but my steps became more difficult to place. The world swayed slightly, but my thoughts were still with me. When we reached the end of the driveway, Josh held my hand. "Excussee me, what are you doin'?"

"Taking you up on your offer," He shot me a sly, sexy smirk.

By the time we reached the door of the house, the barrier between my control and my impulses was blurry. I pulled Josh so that he was pressing against me and slammed my back against the door in one movement.

"What was that?" Josh gasped as I began to pull him by his hair so that his lips were a mere inch away from mine.

"Me coming through with the bet," I whispered, closing the space between us. My drunk mind spun more than it had been, and my knees threatened to buckle beneath me. His hair felt great between my fingers - being the freak I am, obsessed with hair - but I made my hands search when his free hand rested on my waist. He pulled me away, forced the door open, then pulled us inside together, not caring about the noise. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his hips. We continued kissing as he carried me to his room, then threw me on the bed and tore my over shirt off. I took the bottle from his hand, chugging down the rest of the liquid. My body screamed at me, but I was too drunk to listen.

I could only focus on one thing.

"You're drunk, Alex," Josh warned. "This isn't right."

"Don't care," I growled in a slur, unbuckling his belt with possibly more ease than I would have if I was sober. "Too late now."

I pulled his face down with my hands to allow our tongues to dance and I slipped his jeans down with my feet - congratulating myself on being able to do so. I then forced him onto the bed, flipping myself so that I was on top of him. I ripped off his shirt, allowing my shaky hands to feel the soft skin of his torso.

He leaned up to take my shirt off, then undo my bra with one hand. I tossed my unneeded clothes to the floor, moaning into our kiss as his hands -