Promise Me This

Kendall slowly drove back to the apartment, tears clouding his jade eyes. Something inside him continued to break as he made his way up the four stories. He opened the door, and everything looked the same, but in the course of a day, nothing really was. He slammed the door behind him without a second thought, walking into the bedroom to sleep.

As soon as he entered, he knew he wouldn’t even close his eyes that night. Everywhere he looked, he was reminded of what had gone down that afternoon. The dressers and end tables were lavished in pictures of the two smiling, laughing, and making faces. The sheets he laid on smelled like her, and it made him think of the way she’d glared at him the last time he saw her, her golden eyes dripping crystalline tears.

After the longest night of his night, tossing and turning, the sun came up again. It hurt even more, knowing that the world was capable of going on, even when something so great had fallen apart. As he made his way to the kitchen, he knew he had to go. He’d hurt her so much, and defying her wishes would only make it worse. He picked up his phone, tossing it in his hands a few times before dialing.

“Kendall?” his brother, Kevin asked.

“Yeah. Listen, I know it’s short notice, but is it possible you could get Kenneth and help me move? The guys will be here too, but it would take too long with just the four of us.” He tried to keep his voice steady, but his older brother saw right through it.

“What happened?”

“Kate wants me out.”

“We’ll be there in a half hour. It’s gonna be alright, bro.” Kendall squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head. No one could promise him that, when his whole world just walked out of his life. The brothers hung up, and Kendall dialed in the next number, bracing himself.

“Hey, Kendall. What’s up?” James asked. Kendall knew James would be the most calm, and be able to get Logan and Carlos to help.

“I need you and the guys to come to the apartment. I’m moving back with you guys.” There was a silence on the other end, and he heard James suck in his breath.

“No problem. But you owe us all an explanation when we get there.”

“Okay. Thank you James.” With that, he hung up, not waiting for a response. Within fifteen minutes, the front door was swung open, and his band mates stood in front of him. Carlos’s arms were crossed, Logan stood awkwardly with his hands in his pockets, and James sat down on the couch, dragging Kendall with him.

“Okay. What the hell happened? Where’s Kate?” he demanded as Logan sat in the armchair and Carlos at the desk. All eyes were on Kendall, but he just stared at his hands.

“There were pictures of Katelyn and me all over the news. The studio wanted me to go out with her a few times to boost ratings.” Three jaws hit the floor; Kendall had never told them about the studio’s requests.

“Kendall, you’re an idiot,” Carlos snapped, burying his face in his hands. James smacked him, motioning for Kendall to go on.

“I had told Kate I was going for lunch with you guys that day, and when she saw the pictures, she confronted me.”

“Idiot,” Logan muttered, and James shot him a look. Kendall squeezed his emerald eyes shut, running a hand through his sandy locks.

“Then what happened, Kendall?” James asked softly. Kendall couldn’t meet any of their eyes.

“We got into a fight about me lying. And when I came clean about why I did, she wanted to know why she wasn’t good enough for the famous Kendall. We just kept arguing, and she told me she wanted me and my things gone by Monday. Then she ran out, and I didn’t stop her, and now I have no clue where she is.” There was a moment of complete silence, and James made a face.

“I’m sorry Kendall, but you really are an idiot,” he said softly, and Kendall shook his head, his face tormented.

“If I’d known this is how you’d all act, I wouldn’t have called, and I would’ve asked Kenneth or Kevin if I could stay with them,” he mumbled, standing up and walking to the kitchen.

“Your brothers are coming?” James asked, and Kendall slowly turned back to them, nodding.

“Yeah, they should be here soon.”

“Then we start with the boxing?” Logan asked, and Kendall nodded again. Carlos still sat, his arms crossed, glaring out the window. Soon enough, the doorbell rang, revealing the two older Schmidt brothers. Both of them gave Kendall a half-hug, before entering and looking around.

“Where do we start?” Kenneth asked, rubbing his palms together. Kendall looked around, biting the inside of his cheek.

“Well, most of my things are in the storage unit. James, since you have the truck, would you mind going to get them? Maybe bring the guys?” Kendall asked, turning to the tan boy.

“No problem. Logan, Carlos, c’mon,” he said, motioning to the door with his head. Kendall tossed him a set of keys, raising his hand in goodbye. Carlos shut the door a bit harder than necessary, the thin walls vibrating a bit. It left just the brothers in the small space. Kendall motioned to the back rooms, and they started packing his things into cardboard boxes.

“So, no more you and Kate?” Kenneth asked, pulling some drawers out of his dresser. Kendall folded the shirts, setting them into the same box, nodding.

“Nope,” he said, popping the ‘p’ sound. His older brothers exchanged a look.

“Did you tell Mom and Dad yet? ‘Cause you probably should,” Kevin said quietly, and Kendall gnawed on his cheek again.

“Not yet. I don’t know how. They really liked her.” Kendall gave a small chuckle, putting all of the silver picture frames face down. He couldn’t think of how things were, not now. He didn’t want to break down in front of his brothers of all people.

“Well, they weren’t the only ones, Kendall,” Kenneth mumbled, and Kendall looked curiously at him.

“Did you know she got me a new program for my video blog for my birthday?” Kevin asked, setting down the box he held. Kendall watched him a few moments, processing.

“No.”

“Or did you know that while you were gone touring, she’d visit Mom and Dad every other Sunday, and help Mom garden, or talk current events with Dad since you weren’t there to?” Kenneth asked, and Kendall hung his head.

“No.”

“We’re just saying, girls like her don’t just come along,” Kevin said, putting his hand on his little brother’s broad shoulder. Kendall tugged it away, not meeting their eyes.

“You think I don’t know that? You think any of this is easy for me?”

“Kendall…” Kenneth whispered, but Kendall wasn’t listening.

“You think I like knowing that I screwed up the best thing that ever happened to me? You think that I want to tell Mom and Dad that I royally messed up? I love Kate, and I always will. But I destroyed my chance.” The older two exchanged a look, before dropping it.

“You know, kid,” Kenneth said after minutes passed, the only sound heard being objects falling into boxes. “If this is meant to be, it’ll happen. Just give it time.” Kendall nodded, and they grabbed all of the packaged items, carrying them down the stairs to their cars.



By the time the sun had set that night, Kendall was lying across his navy comforter in his old room. The noise in the middle of the city was much louder than it had been in the Valley, and he found it hard to concentrate. The latte walls felt like they were closing in on him. The one thing that stood out in his mind, though, was the gleaming silver picture frame that sat on his end table, next to the brass lamp. He had taken only one picture with him, despite his head’s warnings; it was at the Big Fresno Fair, Kate had a giant, wispy cotton candy in her hand, and her nose crinkled as she smiled. Kendall’s arm was around her, and he wore the biggest smile; it was the night they began dating.

It was close to a year ago, and everything had been so different. Their lives had been filled with laughter and smiles, sneaking kisses when their friends weren’t looking. Now, as the tears streamed down his face, he was hyper aware of it. The girl he loved wasn’t speaking to him. He heard his friends in the other room, and although Carlos was the only one to openly show it, he knew they were angry with him as well. They loved Kate just as much as they loved him.

As he closed his jade eyes, allowing the traffic to lull him to sleep, he knew how badly things had ended. He didn’t know if Kate would forgive him. He knew that eventually his friends and family would. However, he knew as long as Kate hated him, he hated himself as well.