Falling Out of Line

"Tyler! You have visitors!"

Visitors. Visitors are what Ms. Knead calls families looking to adopt one of us. She was a very fake woman, trying to seem nice in front of people who were willing to take kids into their homes, as if it was a huge burden on Ms. Knead to have kids in her orphanage. I think orphaned kids are supposed to be in an orphanage, miss. It's sad having a lot of orphans, but what can you do? Some people just can't appreciate what they were given.

What was confusing to me, was why I had visitors.

I'm seventeen, and boring. I'm a huge burden to everyone I come in contact with, because nobody likes me.

Why would I have any visitors?

Now, before you ask, I am not depressed and I do not have low self esteem. It is a proven fact that I am not likable. My parents didn't like me at all, they gave me up as soon as possible and left me with no clues on how to find them - even the orphanage doesn't know who left me here as a baby. At school, I was a virtual nobody. Even when I tried to make friends, they didn't like me very much. And I'm not as well-liked at the orphanage either, but I never tried to make any friends here.

For the past four years, I have been the only teenager here. I don't know how that worked out, but I guess most of the future teens either got adopted or got fed up with this and ran away. Everyone knows that orphans are like puppies: the cuter and younger and smaller you are, the more likely you are to be adopted. I've been in and out of here a lot, going from foster home to foster home, and I've never stayed long. I don't know why, but I just don't seem to be worth all the trouble. I could analyze why, but that would take a long time right now, and apparently I've got visitors downstairs.

I ignored Ms. Knead calling me again as politely as she could and went to the bathroom. My hair was a mess on top of my head since I hadn't bothered to comb it after waking up. I had on shabby jeans and a vintage-looking shirt that were donated at some point and were a size too big. My eyes were a dull blue, and they looked as tired as I felt. I grinned and ran downstairs in my holey socks.

Did I care if I got adopted? Nope.

See, my plan was this: live here until my eighteenth birthday and figure out what to do next. The orphanage kicks us out once we hit eighteen because by then we are legally adults and are supposedly able to take care of ourselves. I still don't know what I want to do with my life, but whatever I do has got to be better than this. I've always gotten good grades in school and participate in as many extracurricular as possible so I won't have to spend too much time at the orphanage. I'm not too bad at soccer and art, and I've been a bench-warmer on the debate team long enough that they just count me as a real member now. So it shouldn't be hard for me to get into college on my own.

Now I've got to scare off another family.

Wish me luck. :)

I jumped over the last three stairs and slid slightly on the hardwood floors. Ms. Knead looked like she was going to have a heart attack. I held back my smirk and looked at my visitors: two grown men. Odd. One of them laughed, while the other just smiled at me, as if he thought I acted like this all the time.

Ms. Knead cleared her throat, glaring at me out of the corner of her eye, if that's even possible. "Yes, This is Tyler. Tyler, these are the... um... I'm sorry, do you go by McClean or Barnes?"
The guy who was smiling at me shrugged. "We never really figured that out. I think we just hyphenated it."
"Yes, well, follow me to my office, please." She smiled at them and let them walk ahead of her. She smacked me in the back of the head and glared at me, telling me to behave myself. Fat chance of that happening.

We walked into her office. She sat behind her old wooden desk, the two guys and I sat on a couch facing her desk. When they sat down, I noticed the silver wedding bands on their fingers, and then their fingers interlaced and rested on their legs. So they are a gay couple. That's new.

I looked up from their hands and saw everyone staring at me. Why me? I never have to talk during these meetings.

I could tell Ms. Knead was losing patience with me, so I raised an eyebrow at the couple and asked "What do you want me to say?"
"Tyler!"
The guy next to me smiled and said "It's okay. We just want to know more about you."
I stared at him. He was slightly tan, with black hair down to the middle of his neck. He wore a suit jacket and looked extremely uncomfortable in it because he kept fidgeting.
"I'm Tyler, I'm 17, and I'm an orphan. What else do you need to know?"
"What you like to do, where you like to go, just anything. Be yourself."
I raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm not that open with strangers."
Ms. Knead was ready to kill me. Pissing her off is an added bonus to me being rude to these people.
"Alright. My name's Sean, this is my husband Cory. I make my living as a a writing teacher and sometimes sub as an art teacher. I spend my free time doing random art projects even though I suck at it-"
"You do not." His husband interrupted.
"Yeah, I do. But I'm an amazing athlete, if I do say so myself. So is Cory-"
"I ran track - how does that make me amazing?"
"You set a ton of records."
"Not really."
"You can't brag for me and then keep quiet about yourself."
"I can and I will."
Sean rolled his eyes then turned back to me. "Anyway, I coach boxing at Myriad Academy where I teach, and I hate golfing. It serves no purpose."
"So you're a sports jockey and an artist? That's different." I said.
"Well, Sean is a lot more than that. He's incredibly sweet and a great listener, and helps out anyone who needs it." Cory said.
"Now you make me sound like a saint."
"As if." I laughed as Cory scoffed. Sean didn't seem too pleased, but he just nudged Cory.
"Alright, well as you know I ran track my last year of high school and did cross country in college. I really didn't set a lot of records but our team did bring in lots of praise. Now, I'm just a homemaker really. I love to bake, dance, and watch soap operas."
"O... kay then." I nodded. "Well, uh, I like... uh... I don't know what I like?" I felt stupid now. "I never really do anything. I don't hang out with anybody, I don't like school, and I don't have any hobbies."
"So what do you do?" Cory asked me.
"...Nothing."

They nodded as if that was a normal thing. I was a teenager with no life - as far as I know from watching TV, that isn't a normal thing. But they seemed like nice, understanding people.

I still wasn't looking to get adopted though. They'd get tired of me, and I wouldn't earn my keep there. Why don't they want a young kid to adopt? Why do they want a teenager anyway?

Ms. Knead spent a few minutes apologizing for my bad behavior and tried to assure the couple that I would be more obedient once they adopted me. They didn't seem to care about how I acted, though. They talked with Ms. Knead for a while, so I thought I was done here, but then they all turned to me and asked me:

"Do you want to be adopted?"

I was dumbstruck.

"Uh..."
"Be completely honest." Sean told me.
"Completely honest?" He nodded. "Well then, no I don't. I don't want to be adopted. I want to live on my own once I'm eighteen and figure out what I want to do with my life. It doesn't make any sense for me to get adopted now, and I'm wondering why you even want to adopt a teenager, especially if I'd only be around for a year."
"Would you be mad if you did get adopted?"
"What does it matter? I'm not gonna get adopted."
"You don't know that."
I rolled my eyes. "If you adopt me, then you are clearly insane. I'm not worth the time or the trouble, anyone who's met me can tell you that."

I stood up. "Am I done here?"
"Unless you have something else you want to say." He smirked. I glared at him.
"I'm not normally a bratty kid, and I won't draw nearly as much attention to myself."
"Then why act this way now?" Cory asked.
"Just wanted to get my point across."

They nodded, and when I didn't say anymore, I left to sit on the bench outside of Ms. Knead's office. I figured she would kick my ass for this later, but what did I care? She wanted me out of here as much as I did, but I wouldn't give her the satisfaction if she was going to be so obviously mean about it.

I must have spent the next twelve minutes just staring at the cracks in the wall (and somehow keep my sanity in place after that) because the couple and Ms. Knead just walked out of her office. Ms. Knead was still trying to murder me with her eyes.

"Well, Tyler, the Barnes-McCleans would like to visit you for a few hours on Wednesday and continue talking to you. They are very interested in you."

I raised an eyebrow. "Interested in me?" They nodded. "Why?"
Cory shrugged. "We just are."

Okay, I figured they were a little odd, but still...

"So, we have to talk again? Cause I don't really have anything else to say." I said.
"That's fine. We can do all the talking if you want." Sean said.
I looked at him. "I don't really care."
"Then we'll see you on Wednesday." He grinned. He and his husband talked to Ms. Knead for a minute, then waved at me, and left.

I'm... not quite sure what's happening here.

"You little brat!!!" Ms. Knead smacked me in the back of my head, hard.
"OW! What?!" I cried, holding a hand to my head.
"Next time, you better behave yourself, or I'll make every day you stay here a living hell for you." She growled then walked off.
"You already do." I mumbled under my breath.

Ms. Knead aside, it wasn't totally bad here. I've got a place to eat, sleep, and keep to myself. No one bothers me unless I do something stupid. Really, it isn't so bad here.

Still, sometimes I do wonder what it would have been like if I were adopted, what it would be like if my parents had wanted me... if anyone wanted me.