Falling Out of Line

So far, the only thing we had accomplished this Wednesday was a staring contest between me and Sean.

I was determined to win.

Why? Well, why not? Neither of us had anything new to say yet, so we might as well fill the time with something.

Cory shook his head in disbelief that we were being this childish, but he didn't combat it. He must be used to Sean acting like this.

Well, I had a trick up my sleeve.

I took in a deep breath, and blew it out directly in his eyes.

He blinked and back away.

Victory.

"You little cheat-"
"Sean..." Cory said to him in a tone of warning.
"But he totally cheated!!"
"Don't get all worked up over nothing."
"Fine. Rematch."
"Sean-"
"No wait, arm wrestling. And no cheating this time." He slammed his elbow onto the table.
I rolled my eyes and did the same. I've learned he's athletic and competitive, which makes me wonder why he isn't still an athlete or coach of some kind.
"Cory, can you count us off?" he asked.
"Really? Oh fine." He stood up, held both of our hands together, then counted, "One, two, three, go," and let go of our hands.
We went at it, and even though he was much stronger than I was, we were equally as stubborn and persistent, so I refused to let him pin me.
This was going on a lot longer than expected, so I decided to start a conversation.
"I gotta ask, why do you want to adopt me anyway?"
Sean looked at me, then grunted. "Why do you want to know?"
"I'm curious."
"Well, Cory and I both like you."
"Besides that."
"You seem like a good kid, but I bet nobody really gave you a chance, am I right?"
"What?"
"I know a little bit about you - parents were M.I.A., you don't have many friends, you prefer to stay alone so you won't have to deal with disappointing people. I get it, I've been where you are, with different circumstances. You're afraid to get too close to someone new because you think they'll leave you as soon as they see your true self."
"What makes you think that's who I am?"
"Because I know you. I was you."
I glared at him, then slammed his hand down on the table. He stared at his hand, then up at me.
"You don't know me at all." I got up and left the room.

I don't know what that was about, but he's nuts if he thinks he knows me. He's never met me before, and he can't possibly assume he knows me. So what, my parents left me and I suck at making friends - it's not a big deal. I'm a charity case, but that doesn't make me relatable to other people. Like, "oh I know how you feel" or "I've been there." You haven't been there. You haven't been disliked and disowned by everyone you've ever met just because you're not worth their time! You can't share my sympathy, and I don't want your sympathy either.

Cory came and found me in the kitchen. Us kids really weren't allowed in here, but as always, I was ignored. He stood beside me but stared at the utensils on the counter.

"Do you like to cook?"
I stared at him. "I've never cooked before. I'm guessing this isn't the reason you came to talk to me though."
"It's not. I want to know what happened to you."
"Don't you and your husband already know that?"
"I know the exact same things that Sean knows: you're an orphaned child and you don't get along with people. All of that is in your file that the orphanage has on you. I want to know what happened to you from your point of view."
I blinked. "My point of view? What, that I know nothing about my parents and that I don't get along with people because they write me off as soon as they meet me?"
"Yes, why is that?"
"How the fuck should I know? I'm not in their heads. I don't know them, and nobody takes the time to get to know me!"
"Well, me and Sean are trying to do that now but you keep fighting us. I may not agree with how Sean went about talking to you, but I think he's right - I think you are afraid to get close to people because you don't want them to hurt you, so you don't give them a chance, do you?"
"Quit acting like you know me."
"I'm not saying I know you, I'm trying to figure you out. You aren't directly telling me anything, so I have to resort to asking you yes or no questions."

I looked at him. He held a soft but determined gaze. I knew he and Sean were like polar opposites, but they are both good at trying to figure people out. I wonder if they really were something like I was, distant and hard to talk to. I can't really compare myself to anyone, because I have no idea what people see when they look at me. I just know that they don't like it.

I sighed. "You could be right. I don't know."
He nodded. "That's a start. Listen, I don't need to know everything that's happened to you. Sean and I just want to be able to talk to you. We thought that might be easier if we could get you to open up by finding out what made you so shielded in the first place."
"That's good reasoning and all," I put a hand on his shoulder, "but next time, just start with a normal conversation."

We went back to the rec room. Sean was on his cell phone, looked up at us and smiled, then focused back on his conversation.

"I know this has been a rough start for everyone, but perhaps you and your husband would still like to discuss adoption, but of another child? I assure you we have much less problematic-"
Sean cut off Ms. Knead, completely ignoring the person he was previously on the phone with. "Who said anything about not wanting to adopt Tyler?"
"What?" For once, me and Ms. Knead were on the same page.
"I thought we loved him, didn't we Cory?" He nodded. "So then why are we talking about adopting a different child?"
"Uh... well I... just assumed that-"
"We wouldn't want him because he's rude and stubborn? That's why we liked him in the first place."
"What?" I swear, if me and Ms. Knead do that one more time...
Cory smiled. "If it's alright with Tyler, we would love to adopt him."
We didn't even say what this time - we just stared at them.

So... remember when I said these guys were odd?

Point proven.

"Uh... I don't... okay I'm confused. Why do you want to adopt me again? I'm a bratty teenager that's gonna be fully independent in a year anyway."
"Parents don't have an expiration date. We would still be a family even after you became an adult. I thought we made it clear that we like you, but it's up to you, Tyler. You can stay here if you want."

I didn't know what to say. I could stay here, wait out the year, then keep to myself and focus on my for the next few years. It did interest me, the idea of actually having a family for once, but I still didn't want to risk it. If I just tried to live on my own but something went wrong, at least then I could just say that the circumstances weren't right for me. If I try living with another family, then everyone will just blame me when it doesn't work out. I'm tired of getting rejected for reasons I don't understand. I know Cory and Sean seem like nice people, but I really don't know them that well. What if they get tired of me like everyone else does? What if they stop wanting me? I'll have screwed up my last chance at friendship.

They looked at me, kind smiles, eager eyes. They looked like a harmless couple, they got along very well, but appearances don't mean anything. After all, people don't start ignoring me until they try to look past my looks.

"Alright, if you can promise me that you'll wait at least four months before you try to get rid of me, then I'll go with you."
They looked at each other confused, then Cory said "Why four months?"
"That's the longest I've ever been in a foster home. I want to see if you can beat that record." Sean bit his lip. They felt sorry for me. "I don't need your sympathy, I just want your word."
He nodded and they both came up to me. "You have our word, then." He shook my head.
"Great! Shall we fill out the paperwork then?" Ms. Knead wasted no time trying to get me out of here.

The grown-ups went into her office to get down to business. I was still standing there, wondering what just happened. Am I really being given a chance to have a family who wants me? Why now, when I've pretty much given up on the whole idea?

I don't know why, but I have a feeling this new life of mine is going to be full of surprises.

***

I sat in the back of their car clutching my backpack. I didn't have many belongings, just a suitcase of donated clothing and a backpack with my school supplies, a pack of playing cards, and my alarm clock. Even my luggage is boring. -_-

They tried talking to me on the ride to my new home. I didn't have much to say - school was good, I don't have any friends, I don't like any particular music or sports or tv or movies - I have no life basically. The rest of the ride was spent listening to the radio. Awkward...

After driving for a few hours, we pulled up to a suburban cul-de-sac. When I say it looked like something off of a movie set, I am not lying. All of the houses looked the same, the lawns had their own personal touches but were kept neat and trimmed, there were a few kids playing in the street, a woman with a stroller on the sidewalk, and even birds were chirping melodically. When we stepped out of the car, I had to check to make sure I was really awake.

I don't think we're in poverty anymore, Toto.

"Hey, there are my two favorite boys!" A shrill woman yelled from across the street. She ran over as fast as her bright red heels would let her and hugged Sean and Cory tightly.
"Hello, Lauren." They said simultaneously.

Lauren looked like she stepped right out of the 1950s, wearing a blue sleeveless dress that was poofy at the bottom. Her hair was perfectly curled into brown swirls, and I bet if you touched it, she'd go all Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde on you. Her lipstick matched the color of her shoes, and her smile seemed somewhat forced. She was naturally intimidating. If this is how she dresses on a daily basis, I'm going to be scared for my life.

She handed them a gold envelope. "Now you two have to come to Jordan's homecoming party, and of course he and his friends might want to take off early to do something more "fun" as he would put it, but he's been told to stay at least an hour since this is, after all, his party." She barely breathed during that run-on sentence!

Cory and Sean nodded as if she was acting completely normal. Sean put his hand on my shoulder and I begged him with my eyes not to introduce me, but he didn't notice. He nudged me towards the scary woman, who looked at me with what I've come to recognize as disgust, which she quickly hid with another her forced smile.

"And who do we have her?" I tried not to roll my eyes as she spoke to me in a childish voice.
"This is Tyler. Remember when we said we were adopting?" Cory smiled.
"Oh," her smile faltered. "Of course I remember, I just didn't think you would adopt a child so... mature."
In other words, she was expected a little kid. I already got the feeling I wouldn't be welcomed her, either.
"We figured he deserved as much of a chance as any other kid out there. We just bonded with Tyler. He's such an interesting kid, I bet he'll make lots of friends here, don't you think?" Cory said.
Lauren bit her lip, then nodded. "Of course he will. Maybe he and Jordan will even become friends."
"I'm sure they will. Yes, I think Tyler's gonna fit in around here just fine." Sean ruffled my hair. I felt like there was some type of competition going on here, like they were fighting over who would have the better son. I wonder who was winning.
"Yes, well remember to bring the dessert! You know everyone just adores your cooking, Cory!"
"Thank you, Lauren." He smiled.

She blew kisses at them and barely waved goodbye to me as she hurried back across the street.

"I hate that woman." Sean muttered under his breath.
"I do too, but we have to play nice." Cory nudged him.
"Why do you hate her?"
"Ugh she's a total bitch."
"Sean!"
"What, he's old enough to have heard that before!"
Cory just rolled his eyes. "She's a back-stabber, a social-climber, and a gold-digger. Most importantly, she has control over the whole town. Let's just say she has friends in low places. Everyone just stays on her good side so she won't destroy you."
I nodded, feeling even more scared of her now.

Sean grabbed my suitcase and carried it into the house. I took one more look at my new neighborhood, how everything looked uniform and clean and sparkling, like a precious gem hidden away from the world so that it couldn't get it's grubby hands on it. I felt like Dorothy from the WIzard Of Oz, not just because I was in a strange new land, but because I was hoping this was a place where I could find what I was looking for - myself.

A brief tour of the house: large, inviting, and a faint scent of lemon cleanser. They must have been expecting me to go with them.

The living room was probably just used to entertain guests, because it didn't look very relaxing. I suppose they didn't want people to get the impression that they should stay too long. It had lots of weird metal sculptures and paintings, a few uncomfortable-looking chairs, a glass coffee table covered with neatly stacked magazines and coasters, and the occasional plant that stood in the corner. It fit the suburban lifestyle, but it didn't match up with Cory and Sean's personalities in my mind.

The kitchen looked like it belonged in the home of a professional chef: cutting edge equipment, electronic everything, shiny counter-tops and stainless steel as far as the eye could see. I looked at them. Sean shrugged and pointed to Cory. "He's the one that likes to cook." Cory smiled. "I can't help it. My mom got me into cooking ever since I was a kid, and the kitchen was always my favorite place in the house. It was Sean's favorite, too," he said, lightly hitting him in the stomach. "Hey, is it my fault that you and your mother are amazing cooks?"

Cory rolled his eyes. "Now Sean has a new favorite room in the house - the den. Come, let me show you the man-cave."

Cory led the way downstairs and then turned on the lights. It was amazing - a spacious room filled with everything any macho man could ever dream off: autographed footballs and baseballs, a giant flat-screen TV with four leather chairs just made for lounging in, a beanbag chair, a basketball hoop, Nerf guns?! This was every boys dream room.

Sean grinned. "Ya like?"
I just nodded, dumbstruck.
Cory sighed. "If I got the fancy kitchen, then Sean got the den. That was the deal when we started decorating the place. At least it's not upstairs for Lauren and the other housewives to frown at. 'It would be such an eye sore.'" he mocked.
"All the husbands love it here. It's amazing how husbands and wives can be the polar opposites of each other." Sean said.

I looked up at them, wondering if they were the polar opposites of each other. Sure, Cory was obviously more neat and effeminate than Sean, and Sean was the macho jock who seemed a bit clueless at times. I'm sure they clashed on how to decorate the house or what to wear, but I had a feeling they were beyond petty arguing unlike their couple counterparts. They had a bond that felt like it was years strong. It gave me hope that maybe I would find my own partner one day, a woman who would love me despite how average I was.

The tour of the house ended with my new bedroom upstairs. Plain white walls, a twin-sized bed made with fresh blue sheets, a heavy black trunk at the foot of my bed, a metal desk and black swivel chair against the wall, and a wooden dresser that matched the headboard of my bed. I assumed the rest was up to me to decorate. I put my suit case on top of the trunk and tossed my backpack on the floor. I sat on my bed, and Cory and Sean looked down at me, expectantly.

"Uh... thank you?" I said, unsure of what they wanted from me.
Cory smiled. "We'll let you get settled. Are you hungry?" I shook my head no. "Well, okay then. I'll come get you for dinner later then. Call if you need us."
They left.

Get settled? I had two bags, full of hand-me-down clothes and school books. Getting settled would take me ten minutes. Still, I did want to take a minute to enjoy the comfort of my new home. I ended up taking a nap, something that felt so much better here then in a cold, noisy orphanage.

***

I spent most of the rest of the summer inside the house, watching TV with Sean, watching Cory cook, watching them flirt with each other (too awkward for words). I started to see how things worked around here, and I was hoping that I could fit into their routine without messing everything up.

I was sitting in my room, messing around with the new cell phone they had bought me, when Cory came into the room.

"How are you getting settled, Tyler?" he asked, sitting on the bed next to me.
"Good. I like it here."
"I'm glad to hear that," he smiled. "I wanted to talk to you about school. I understand you were a pretty good student at your old school, but since it's so far away from where we live now, Sean and I thought you should attend the school nearby."
"Um okay, what school is that?"
"Cranbrook Academy. It's a private school."
"You mean like, with uniforms and stuffy headmasters?"
"Something like that. You do have to wear uniforms, but they aren't that bad and you don't have to wear them on Fridays. And I've met the headmaster - he seems very nice. I'm sure you'll like it there."

I doubted it, but I didn't like my old school much either. Maybe I should stick with these new changes in my life - it's been good so far.

"Okay," I nodded.
He smiled. "I will still have to take you shopping for school supplies, and some books that are required reading. If you want, we can buy you more clothes for Fridays. I've already ordered your uniform."
"That's okay, I don't really care what I wear."
"Well let me know if you need anything. School starts next week on Monday."

He got up and left. A new home, a new school, a new family, a new life... I don't know how I got so lucky. I didn't think I really did anything to deserve it - I was just another kid who kept to himself because nobody else would bother. I'm actually looking forward to my new school, and I have a feeling a lot more things are going to change about my life this year.