Falling Out of Line

Having Tyler's friend over yesterday got me remembering my teenage years. The way Tyler and Lewis were becoming such close friends...

Almost my whole life is full of memories shared with Sean, which is probably why I enjoy every minute of it. Sure, there were some dark moments in our relationship too... we fought sometimes, and kept the biggest secrets from each other, but when we really needed each other, nothing could stop us from caring about each other.

Sean has always felt like he needs to protect me, and I know that he's too pigheaded to convince him otherwise. I don't always need saving, but I am glad that he is my superhero. I try my best to help Sean as much as he helps me, but some people just push you away when you try to help them. Sean hates feeling vulnerable. The issues with his father really affected him, but you wouldn't know it unless you were as close to him as I was. He flinches whenever someone gets violent, and if he even so much as accidentally hits me on the arm, he'll start apologizing.

When we were teens, he almost punched me. That was when he had his big meltdown at school, and when the principal suggested he go to a youth mental institution. When I think about that, it actually makes me feel good because I know that he has changed and that he loves me so much that he would never lay a hand on me. I'm sure Sean likes to pretend the whole thing never happened. Forget and move on. That's what he does. He never truly lets go of anything, and I hate that he's still beating himself up for some things that he didn't even have control over in his life.

He's grown so much, though. He's very mature and considerate. Everyone loved him in college, except for the occasional homophobic people who learned to shut their mouths when Sean started to threaten them. He's defensive and strong and brave. His grades were very good all through college, and his professors really liked him. He's smart and lovable. I know for a fact that he's one of the best teachers at his school, and I'm sure he's even encountered some kids that are just like how he used to be. Sean is just... amazing.

"Crap." Sean muttered as he came down the stairs. I smiled at him and asked him what's the matter. "One of the buttons on my jacket fell off."
I stood up from my chair and went over to him. "I think I have similar buttons in the sewing kit. Leave it on the chair and I'll fix it later."
"Thanks." We kissed. "I'll be home at 4:40. Tyler's going to the movies with some friends and should be home by..." he stuck out his tongue as he tried to think. "...Later."
I giggled. "Alright, I'll call him."

I handed him his lunch and briefcase after he took off his jacket and put on another one. He took them booth, and smiled. "Who would have thought that we'd be married with a kid?"
"Wasn't that the plan?" I kissed him softly on the lips.
He kissed me back, a little harder but not forceful. "Since first grade, babe."

My heart fluttered in my chest as he said bye and walked out the door.

Can't you see why I love that man?

Oh no, I almost forgot!

I ran to the door, throwing it open. He was sitting in the driver's seat about to close the door. He stuck his head out of the car and looked at me with concern.

"I didn't get to say that... I love you, Seanie."
He gave a heartfelt smile. "I love you too, Cor. I'll see you when I get home."
He drove off.

I went back inside the house and looked around. My career was basically being a housewife, but not just any housewife - a suburban housewife. If I were going to stand up with my fellow females out here, I had to go to the same extremes that they did: Clean the whole house - done yesterday before Lewis came over. Cook breakfast and lunch for Sean and Tyler - done. Sean doesn't mind doing the laundry even though I hate it with a passion. The hampers are always full - Sean's clothes are always covered in chalk and paint and food, and Tyler's clothes are as messy and wrinkled and foul-smelling as a typical teenage boy's clothes would be. Doing the laundry is time-consuming and back-breaking and I hate it-hate it-hate it. Which is why Sean does it for me. Tyler takes out the trash and is supposed to clean his room, but it always gets magically messy again a day after he cleans it.

I went through the bedrooms to gather the clothes and put them in the laundry room, and I vomited from the stench of man smell. I never smelled this... burly or pubescent. What is wrong with these boys?!

After that, I went back to Tyler's room to clean up the mess that had appeared since last night. Books scattered everywhere, plates with crumbs of food left sitting on the floor and the desk, shoes thrown everywhere like they were frisbees, and his comforter and pillows were all on the floor. How did this mess accumulate since LAST NIGHT?!

I cleaned Tyler's room and left a note, telling him to keep his room clean or I'll stop cooking. I didn't mean that he would starve, just that I wouldn't be cooking him food anymore. He would have to suffer with take-out food, which for some reason was terrible in the suburbs. I guess most people just made their own food out here.

Usually my days are kept busy by cleaning or cooking for the many events and parties held out here in the suburbs, but this week was surprisingly quiet. I had faced a horrible and yet wonderful realization - I was a housewife with nothing to do.

Since I was still dirty and grimy from cleaning Tyler's room, I decided that I would go out for a run. I haven't ran since college. I still remember how surprised everyone was that I could run so fast even though I used to have asthma. Sean was my biggest cheerleader. He came to every practice, every meet. And for some reason, I think he was more attracted to me when I was being athletic. He was a sports guy though, so I guess that's not surprising.

Now that I think about it, Sean and I haven't been... romantically intimate since we adopted Tyler. I think it just seems awkward, trying to make love when there's a child in the house. I've heard stories about couples facing that dilemma, but I guess I didn't think about it applying to us.

I'm so thankful that Tyler is accepting of his two gay parents and his gay best friend. There are a lot of hateful and ignorant people out there - tolerant people aren't as common as I would like, especially not with teens. But Tyler is different.

Sean and I used to joke that our child would be gay just like us. Of course, we have no control over that, but wouldn't it be funny?

So wrapped in my thoughts, I hadn't realized that my run had taken me from the house all the way down to the shopping district. There were cute shops here that aimed at the older residents of the suburbs. I know there is another shopping district near Cranbrook Academy that's geared more towards teens and young adults. I don't really shop in either districts - I just head to the grocery store most of the time. I think I need a hobby other than cooking. Maybe I'll keep running during the day. I feel really refreshed and energized already.

As my run slowed to a jog, I passed through the park. There were couples of every age here: little kids, adults, elderly, a few college students from the neighboring suburb, and teenagers who really should tone down on the PDA. Wait, teenagers? Shouldn't they be in school?

Whoa, it's already 3 p.m.? I must have been running longer than I thought!

I headed back to the house and took a shower. I got dressed and stood in our bedroom, the house was so quiet. I stared at our bed, now used only for sleeping, and got an idea. Tyler won't be home for a while - we have the house to ourselves...

I switched into my decorator mode, lighting candles around the room, pulling the curtains closed, playing soft music. I ran downstairs, nearly tripping over my own feet, and grabbed a bottle of wine, some leftover strawberries and chocolate from the fridge. I grabbed two wine glasses and a bottle opener. I melted the chocolate in the microwave, then brought the food back upstairs and set it on a tray on the bed. As I was trying to relight one candle that had gone out, a voice in the back of my head said, "What are you doing? Why are you making a fool of yourself? Who cares if it looks 'romantic' or not? Sean's not a sappy romantic - he won't make a big fuss out of it, so why are you? It's just sex."

I frowned at my inner voice. Maybe it was right. I mean, I've learned in the past that trying to make things all nice and pretty for Sean didn't matter because he was a regular guy and he didn't care about deep red satin sheets or whether the music playing in the background was classical or country. Our own bed had a dull green blanket on it now with white sheets and pillows, and Sean wouldn't care if there were Barney sheets. What if Sean just wants sex and doesn't care about the romance? What if he doesn't even want sex? I'll look like a total fool then. I know some of the other housewives complained that their husbands don't pay attention to them or the things that they do.

The front door closed downstairs and I jumped. I hadn't even heard him pull up in the car.

I knew it would take him a while before he came upstairs. First he would take off his shoes, then his jacket, and then set down his keys and his briefcase. He would loosen his tie as he walked around trying to find where I or Tyler were in the house. He'd grab a drink from the fridge and then call out to see who was home. Then he would eventually make his way upstairs. I had a good five minutes before he would come up here.

So the question was, did I want to go through with this stupid plan for romance, or try to get rid of everything and pretend I didn't do anything?

"Cory, are you home?"

Crap. When I'm lost in my thoughts, time move a lot quicker than normal.

"I-I-I'm in the b-bedroom."

I closed the door, then sat down on the bed slowly, so not to disturb the tray of food. I closed my eyes and tried to reassure myself that Sean would like the romantic gesture, but I wasn't exactly convincing myself. "What if he's tired from work? What if he doesn't want to do anything today?"

I heard his footsteps coming up the stairs.

"He'll think it's silly that you went through all that trouble."

He opened the door and paused in the doorway when he saw me.

"What's all this for? I didn't forget an anniversary, did I?"
"No, I just... wanted to do something nice for you."
He blinked and looked around. "You set up all this just to be nice?"
I nodded.

He closed the door and came to stand in front of me. Then he bent down, held my face, and gave me the most passionate kiss ever.

I looked up at him. His look was one of love.

"How did I get so lucky to have you?"

I blushed, something that I did a lot and hated that I did, but Sean found it adorable. He kissed my cheeks and my nose and my forehead, making me blush even more. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him closer, making him fall on top of me. We kissed each other deeply, and I held him tightly. His tongue dove into my mouth, making itself at home. I moaned and pressed our bodies closer. After a minute, he broke the kiss and looked down at me.

"When is Tyler coming home?" he asked huskily.
"Later." I nipped his neck. "Much later."
He groaned and brought his lips to meet mine again.

***

I lay on Sean's chest, a warm pillow rising and falling with each breath. The covers were wrapped around us. Candles were halfway gone. The wine bottle was half empty and the strawberries had been devoured. Sean's fingers wove into my hair and massaged my head. I hummed and snuggled closer to him.

I think Tyler had gotten home a few minutes ago, but we were too relaxed to do anything like get dressed right now.

"Where are you gu- Oh!" Tyler came into the room and instantly covered his eyes. "Did you guys- oh my god!" He ran out of the room.
I was instantly regretful, but Sean just started laughing.
"How is that funny? He seems traumatized!"
"It's not like he saw anything."
"He saw his parents in bed - a man and a man. That can't be a comforting image for someone so new to having gay parents."
"I know, but his reaction was still funny."
I hit him on the chest and sat up.
"I'm kidding, Cor. Look, why don't we get dressed and go talk to him?"
"Hmm... maybe we should wait a while? It'll be too awkward right now."
He nodded and wrapped me up in a hug.

"Hey, we don't have to have 'the talk' with him do we? Because I am not prepared to do that."
This time, I laughed. "Oh god, I hope not. That would be awkward."
We laughed and resumed our cuddling position.

***

We had dinner later on, and it was extremely awkward. Tyler avoided eye contact with us the entire meal. When dinner was over and we had put the dishes in the dishwasher, Sean and I called Tyler into the living room.

"We have something that we want to show you." Sean said while putting in the video tape.
"Oh my god, what is this?" Tyler closed his eyes.
"Relax, this isn't inappropriate or... sexually informative." I frowned.
"Then what is it?" he asked?
Sean and I smiled as we sat down on the couch next to Tyler. The video began to play.

"We are gathered here today to join this loving couple..." the preacher began.

"Is this... your wedding video?" Tyler asked.
I nodded and snuggled into Sean's arms.

"... I believe each partner has written their own vows. Cory, would you like to begin?" The preacher asked.

I nodded, took Sean's hands in mine, and stared into his eyes. He was as handsome as ever, standing tall in a black tux and red bow-tie, his hair as messy as it always is, and a grin fixed onto his gorgeous face. This was the man that I was lucky enough to marry.

"Today, I get to marry my life long best friend, my first love, and my true love. Sean, when I look at you, I see... a goat?"
He frowned. "What?"
"I see a goat."
"Well, that's kinda mean."
"No, I mean there's a goat. Look, it's right over there!" I pointed behind him. He turned and looked at the uninvited guest that was chewing on a bouquet of flowers.

Sean laughed while I shook my head. "How is there a goat at my wedding?"
A man ran in, out of breath. "Sorry, I've been trying to find the fella. He escaped from the wedding next door. The couple ordered a petting zoo."
"Who orders a petting zoo for their wedding?" I shouted while Sean was still laughing.
The man shrugged. "Oh, whatever, can you just take it away?"

He nodded and walked toward the goat, but it started walking. The man leaped to catch it, but the goat ran and slipped out of his grasp. The goat knocked down the flower stand and rammed into the preacher. I gasped and jumped back. The preacher stumbled but Sean and I caught him from falling. The goat ran around, leaving a mess of disaster as the man tried to grab him again. Decorations were trashed and falling down, guests were frightened and standing on their seats. The goat found it's way into the reception area, and things only went from bad to worse in there. I couldn't look as I heard crash after crash come from the nearby room. The destruction stopped when Dallan and the man emerged from the room with the goat fighting to get out of their arms. They carried the goat out of the hall.

I looked around. The entire place had been wrecked. Everything was in disarray. Everything, all that work, all that planning, it was gone. The image in my head just seems like a stupid fairy tale now.

Sean held my hand. I couldn't stop the sob that jerked it's way out of my throat. He wrapped his arms around me as I cried.

"Ssshh... babe, it's okay. One goat is not going to stop our wedding."
"Everything's ruined now."
"No. Everything's just a little... different than we planned it."
"It's a mess." I sobbed. "The wedding's ruined."
"Are you saying you won't marry me unless there's a room full of flowers and a bunch of tables covered in stupid centerpieces?"
"N-no."
"Are you saying you can't marry me unless the place settings are in perfect order and the DJ doesn't play the right songs?"
"No."
"Are you telling me that if one goat decides to crash our wedding, you're just gonna call the whole thing off?"
I chewed my lip, shaking my head. He took my face in his hands and kissed me gently. He rubbed away my tears with his thumb and looked me in the eyes.
"I don't care if we get married in a parking lot and have the reception at McDonalds. As long as I'm getting married to you, that's all that matters. Is that alright with you?"

I smiled and nodded. He smiled back. I kissed him deeply. I sighed, feeling butterflies in my stomach start fluttering all over again. Sean could make me fall in love with him every day for the rest of our lives.

"Alright then. Let's get married." He said.
I giggled. "In the parking lot?"
"I meant in here, but why the hell not? It's a nice day outside."

I shook my head, laughing at my fiancee. Somehow I agreed to marry him in the parking lot, and everyone moved outside. The sun shone brightly, but the clouds kept the sun from blinding us. There was a perfect breeze that blew Sean's hair out of his face. The preacher said his part, and before I knew it, were were sharing our first kiss as... well, husband and husband.

The chaos of earlier luckily hadn't affected the food, but many of the tables and chairs were broken, so some people just took turns eating and dancing, some did both at the same time. Partway through the reception, our wedding even mingled with the other. We didn't go near the petting zoo though.

Even though it was a wedding day that was far from planned, it's still one of my favorite memories for Sean and I.

Sean kissed my forehead. I rested my head against his. Tyler smiled at us. "Alright, I get it. I have two gay dads, and I'm gonna see you get all lovey-dovey most of the time. Just keep it in the bedroom, and I promise not to go in there ever again."
We laughed. He got up gave each of us a hug before heading upstairs.

"Do you think we might try getting married again?" I asked Sean.
"Why, so an elephant can trash the church?"
I giggled. "No animals this time."
He hummed and rubbed my arms. "Maybe we'll renew our vows someday. But right now, I just want to get some sleep."

I nodded. He picked me up and carried me upstairs.