Falling Out of Line

"Are you ever going to tell him that you like him?" Naran asked me, his head bent down to inspect the computer.
I sighed. "Why would I do that?"
"Because it's going to drive you insane if you don't say something to him."
"He's not gay. I don't want to creep him out and lose another friend."
"I understand that, but you should still be honest with him. I've seen how you get when you like a guy - you're a nervous wreck and start to worry about every little thing, and then you get depressed because you think you're never going to find love, and I'm tired of your mood swings."
I glared at him. "Well, then I won't put up with your mood swings when you like somebody!"
"I don't have mood swings. I'm a guy."
"HEY! I'm a guy too! And for your information, you ARE bisexual - you could be just as girly as I am!"

He grunted and started messing around with the equipment - wires and plugs and stuff - I'm not good with electronics.

"But I'm not girly." He responded.
"Hmph." I frowned.
"Don't take it personally, Lewis. You just have to admit that you're a bit more in touch with your feminine side. " He connected something together in the computer. "You grew up with your sisters, and I was raised by my dad, who is the farthest thing from sensitive. We adapt to our environments."
"Don't try analyze this again - I'm gay because I'm gay - I didn't choose to be, I just am. What environment made you start liking guys too?"
He cursed as something sparked. "Gym class."
"Seriously?"
"Don't judge me. I didn't even realize I was interested in guys until I got an erection in the locker room."
I snickered. "Really?"
"Didn't I just say not to judge me? Laughter counts as judging me."
"I'm not laughing, I swear." I bit my lip and smiled at him. He rolled his eyes and went back to work on the computer.

Naran is a great listener and wonderful advice giver. He's not very talkative about his own life, but he says that's because there's nothing exciting about his life. He's dated girls before, but never had a boyfriend. I don't think he really cares one way or another - he's not a very romantic or sexual person normally, but he'll get a little mushy when he's dating someone he really likes.

All of a sudden, Tyler burst through the classroom door and quickly shut it behind him. He locked the door and crouched below the window, but was still looking out of the opague glass.

"What are you-"
"Sssh!" He cut me off.

He watched the window, then ducked down when a figure walked past. Tyler waited a few minutes before looking out the window again, then unlocking the door and looking out into the hallway. He let out a relieved sigh and closed the door again.

"Kaitlyn's been following me like a vulture. Every time she gets me alone, she starts flirting with me."
"I'm not surprised. Kaitlyn's been known to have a thing for new guys at Cranbrook, and you are attractive."
"Huh?" Tyler looked confused. "Nevermind."
"Why are you so scared of Kaitlyn hitting on you?" I asked.
"Other than the fact that she's evil?" Naran joked.
"Yes, other than that." I laughed.
"She's just really over the top. Everyone is so eager to stay on her good side, and I'm a little worried what she'll do to me if I piss her off. And she's a little too "popular" with the guys, if you know what I mean. She's not my type at all. I honestly thought that the popular girl that everybody loved and feared was just a joke on TV, but she exists, and she's got a thing for me."
"Poor Tyler." I laughed.
"Things would be so much easier if you were gay." Naran winked at me and I rolled my eyes.
"What do you mean by that?" Tyler asked.
"I guess he means that you don't have to worry about a bunch of girls going after you, or guys really. Gays live in secrecy at Cranbrook, and unless you're me, you don't get bullied."
He gave me a sorry look, but I shrugged. "It's no big deal, Tyler. I'm not a very likable person."
"Stop talking like that! You're extremely likable!" He tried to defend me, but I shook my head.
"I have two friends, and you two just happen to be the only guys here that don't hate me."
"That's not true at all. Nobody hates you. Cambree likes you, and that guy Jacob likes you. Even Kaitlyn and her friends like you. And most importantly, your best friends like you. The only dicks here that are too stupid to see how awesome you are are the jocks. There isn't much you can do about them. They're always gonna be ignorant and make fun of anyone that isn't them."

I didn't want to listen to him try to boost my confidence, but he looked so determined to cheer me up.

He doesn't understand that I've been feeling like this long before he showed up, before Naran showed up. I just can't get myself to feel liked, to feel wanted. Maybe I'm depressed. I don't know.

Tyler came over and hugged me, shocking the shit out of me. I felt his warm body press against me... in a totally friendly way. I sighed, from bliss and disappointment. When he finds out that I have a crush on him, this friendship is gonna end, and I'll end up feeling even worse than I do now.

I politely hugged him back. "Thanks Tyler." I forced a smile so he'd think he had helped me. He smiled. Naran looked at us. He knows I'm faking. That's the thing that annoys me about Naran - he knows freaking everything.

"I don't have tech club if you want to hang out after school today." Naran said during third period, the first class we had together.
"Thanks, but I think I'm just gonna head home." I told him.
He nodded his head and went back to work.

I think I spent most of the day staring into space, trying to drown out my thoughts.

I've never had a boyfriend. I'm not especially cute or smart or funny, in fact most people think I'm just annoying and weird.

When I told my old friend Eddie that I was gay, he accused me of having a "homo crush" on him and called me a faggot. I didn't like Eddie that way, and I'm glad I didn't, because that would have killed me.

"Lewis!"
I jumped. I turned and saw Tyler running up to me.
"Hey Lewis. Wanna hang out today? Cory's baking a ton of cakes for some fundraiser, and he said he could make an extra one for us."
"No thanks, Tyler." I mentally kicked myself. I was too moody to do anything fun.
He frowned. "What's wrong. You aren't still upset about earlier, are you?"
"No no, my parents just want me home early today." I lied.
He nodded. "Alright. See you tomorrow then." he ruffled my hair and left.

I walked home. My three demonic sisters were already tearing through the house as usual, ages 7, 12, and 15.

"Lewis! Fatty keeps taking my dolls from me!" Addie - 7 ran up to me.
"Don't call your sisters bad names-"
"I only did it cause she keeps hitting me over the head with them!" Carrie - 12 yelled.
"You won't play with me!" Addie screamed.
"I don't have to play with babies!"
"I'm not a baby, Fatty!"
"I'm not Fat, baby!"

I rolled my eyes and left them to kill each other. I went upstairs and found Lori - 15 in her room blasting music.

"Did you know they were fighting again?"
"Duh." She rolled her eyes.
"So why didn't you stop them?"
"It's not my problem."
"They're your sisters."
"Not when they're annoying, they aren't."
"They're always annoying." I mumbled under my breath and went to my room.

I collapsed on my bed and fell asleep.

I woke up to my phone ringing. The room was somewhat dark and the sun was setting. My sisters weren't screaming at each other, so I assumed they either calmed down or killed each other. Either one was fine with me.

I picked up my phone and saw that it was Tyler calling me.

"Hello?" I said sleepily.
"What were you saying earlier, about it being easier to be gay?"
"Huh?"
"How it's easier to be gay at Cranbrook."
"Oh... I dunno, it just is. People don't really bother you because of your sexuality." I thought of Eddie. "They find plenty of other reasons to annoy you."
"So if I pretended to be gay, then girls would leave me alone and I still wouldn't get bullied?"
"Tyler, what the hell are you talking about?"
"I think I told Kaitlyn that I was gay... on accident."
I sat up. "You what?"
He sighed. "She kept coming on to me and she wouldn't take a hint. I told her I didn't like her that way, that I didn't want to date anybody, but she wouldn't listen. She kept asking me why I didn't like her, and I finally just said 'I don't like you girls!' I meant to say I didn't like Cranbrook girls, but she thought I meant I didn't like girls AT ALL and now it seems like half the school is texting me, asking if I'm gay. I don't even know any of these numbers!"
"Tyler..." I shook my head. "You just told the entire school that you're gay. Kaitlyn gossips about everything."
"But I'm not gay!"
"Then you need to tell her that."
"Yeah, but I've been thinking... maybe it would be easier if I was, you know. It's not like at other schools, where you get burned at the stake for being gay. I can handle the stupid jocks, and at least then Kaitlyn and every other girl won't come after me."
"Are there seriously that many girls after you?"
"Tons! I don't even recognize some of them from school!"

I sighed. I wasn't the only one that thought Tyler was hot.

"Tyler, I don't know how to help you-"
"Just don't tell anyone the truth yet. I want to see how it goes. And if it goes badly, then just back me up when I say that I'm not gay."
I sighed. "Whatever you want, Tyler."
"...Are you okay, you still sound upset."
"I'm tired. You woke me up."
"Oh, sorry. If you wanna talk though-"
"I'll see you tomorrow, Tyler." I hung up.

I fell back on the bed and tried to get back to sleep, tried to keep Tyler out of my head.