Falling Out of Line

My friendship with Tyler is getting increasingly difficult.

"Like I said before, I feel used."
"Lewis-"
"What makes you think this is a good idea?"
"I just want people to get off my back."
I raised an eyebrow. "And you think that by being gay, that'll work?"
He sighed. "People expect too much of me. I'm tired of the mob of girls following me, and their boyfriends trying to beat me up because they think I'm trying to steal their girl. And I tried finding a group where I fit in - it's not with the guys, it's not with the girls. And then there's Sean and Cory. They're great, but I still feel like it's obvious that I'm adopted. I don't fit in with them. Face it, I was born an outcast and I'll stay that way. I know you don't understand why I'm doing this, but if pretending to be gay will make things easier for me, then that's what I want to do."
"There's nothing easy about being gay."
"Is it really hard for you?"
"Are you kidding? I'm the poster boy for humiliation. Everyone makes fun of me, even Kaitlyn and her crew - and she thinks she's being nice to me!"
"Well... maybe I can make things better for you."
"How?" I sighed exasperatedly.

He chewed on his lip, a habit of his that made him look even hotter if that was possible. Then his eyes lit up with an idea.

"What if we were dating?"
My heart just jumped into my throat, but I had to coax it back down because I knew he didn't mean it the way I wanted him to.
"W-What do you mean?"
"We could pretend to be dating. That way people will believe that I'm gay, and nobody will pick on you because nobody has messed with me, and if they do bother you, I'll kick their ass."
I gave him a small smile. "Tyler, this is not going to work."
"Yeah it will. All we have to do is act... couple-y."
I giggled. "And how are we gonna do that?"

He shrugged, then walked over to me, putting his arm around my waist and pulling me in close to his side. I took in the smell his body-wash. God I just wanted to bury my face in his chest, I bet I was blushing like mad. His touch was making butterflies explode in my intestines.

"Is this okay?" He asked.
I nodded my head. Whatever kept him touching me.

He smiled at me, oblivious to how he was driving my body crazy right now.

"Alright, so all we have to do is just be together all the time. I'll walk you to class and we'll sit together at lunch... kinda what we do already."
"Will Naran be with us, then?"
"Maybe not for a few days, so people know we're not just hanging out as friends. They need to see us together alone."
"Then maybe we should go on a fake date... so they'll see us... together." I mumbled.
"That's a great idea! We can go to Coldstones after school. Kids from school are always going by there."
"And then we can just walk around together after that."
"Yeah."

I think I just tricked Tyler into going on a date with me.

***

"Alright, I texted Kaitlyn that I couldn't hang out today because I had a date, so she should already be gossiping about it." Tyler said as he sat down at the table with two cups of ice cream. Then he frowned. "Maybe I should've gotten one thing of ice cream," he looked up at me. "So we could share."
"Two is fine, Tyler. You're worrying about this too much. People are gonna believe that we're dating."
"Are you sure?"
I nodded.

He twirled his spoon around in his ice cream. I didn't understand why he wanted this so badly. I mean, he's told me before that he just wants to fit in and somehow he thinks being gay will help him, but I don't get it. Maybe I have to be in his shoes. He's been in foster care all his life, switching from house to house and never felt like he belonged to a real family. He never really made friends because he didn't spend much time at schools before he was moved to a different family, and he said he's never really found a group that he fit in with.

Watching him stress about this, as if it's his last chance at fitting in somewhere... it's kind of sad. He truly thinks that his friends and family are gonna dump him. But Cory and Sean seem like the nicest couple ever - I couldn't imagine them giving up on a child. And I'm too hopelessly devoted to Tyler to leave him. And Tyler is so popular now that he doesn't even need me. I feel like he's already merged into suburbia better than people who've lived here their whole life.

"Tyler, are you really that afraid that you're gonna lose everything you have here, just by being yourself?" I asked him.
He looked up from his ice cream and stared at me, looking a bit sad. "...I'm... I'm not gonna wait long enough for that to happen again."
"Tyler-"
"Here come some kids from school." He sat upright.

I sighed as he stuck a spoon out in front of me. I raised an eyebrow but before I could say anything, he shoved the plastic spoon in my mouth. I nearly gagged on the mint chocolate chip slowly melting in my mouth. Out the corner of my eye, I saw our classmates stop at the window and stare for a minute. I rolled my eyes as Tyler smiled at me, pretending not to notice. They came inside and pointed at us across the room before walking up to the counter and ordering.

Tyler put the spoon down and stared at me.
"I don't like doing this." I told him.
He frowned. "Why?"
"It's lying. I'm pretending to be something I'm not, and I came out so I wouldn't have to do that anymore."
"But you said you were okay with this." He pouted.
I sighed. I couldn't say no to him. Especially after I had already promised.

"Hey guys," a guy sang as he walked over with the other kids from school. I recognized him as one of the jocks who loved to shove me into lockers. I didn't know the other guy and the two girls. "Having a fabulous time together?"
"What do you want, Troy?"
"I just wanted to say hi and give my best wishes to the happy couple."
I rolled my eyes.
"No comeback? So you are dating?"
I chewed my lip and looked down at my ice cream. "Can you just leave us alone?"
I heard him and the other guy laugh before one of the girls cooed, "You guys look issho ni kawaī!"

I looked up at her. She was some short brunette that liked wearing her uniform skirt higher than most of the girls (but not as high as Kaitlyn's), and said "kawaii" and a bunch of other words in Japanese. I think she was in the Anime Club.

"W-What?" Tyler asked.
"She said you two look cute together." The blonde girl next to her translated. I felt my cheeks getting hot, which only made the brunette squeal. "Calm down, Amy. This isn't a yaoi."
"What's-"
"Don't ask." The blonde girl cut Tyler off.

Troy rolled his eyes. "Come on, let's leave the queers to their date."

Troy put his arm around the blonde and they walked out with the other guy and the brunette. I put my head in my hands and sighed. I didn't understand how girls found two gay guys adorable, but I also couldn't understand why most people found us disgusting.

"Well, that went well."
I glared at Tyler. He looked down and went back to his ice cream. I sighed, my anger fizzling out. "I'm sorry. That wasn't really aimed at you."
He nodded. "This... is this really bothering you?"
"I don't mind hanging out with you, Tyler. But like I said before, I feel like you're using me."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel that way."

I shook my head. Tyler didn't need me as a friend - he already had plenty. He took me on as a friend out of pity, and now he was using me. I was always gonna be treated like crap, and I was always gonna feel this way, even if Tyler didn't mean it. I might as well suck it up and get used to it.

I put on a smile. "Didn't you say you were gonna defend me from bullies like that?"
"Sorry!"
"It's okay. Just, next time, maybe you could tell them to back off a bit. I know he was mostly making fun of me, but you're involved in this, too."
"I promise I'll make things better for you." He smiled, reaching across the table to grab my hand. My pulse sped up as I stared at his perfect, toothy grin.

Geez, Tyler. You're already making things worse for me.