Think Again

~Spencer's P.O.V.~

The coffin was heavy. I was in front of it's right side, Morgan and Rossi behind me. Hotch, Kevin, and Will were on the other side. JJ, Garcia, and Chief Strauss walked behind us carrying roses. Henry walked with his mother, and Jack walked next to him. We reached the open grave and sat the coffin down on the mechanism that would lower it six feet into the ground. Stepping back, I stood next to Morgan, Garcia, and Kevin and waited for the priest to begin.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to mourn the loss of Kelsie Parish."

I stared at the black coffin, willing this to be a joke. I wanted the lid to open and for Kelsie to sit up, laughing. I wanted this to happen, but I knew it wouldn't. Kelsie wasn't going to wake up.

Keslie was dead.

Tears of anger forced their way past my eyes to blur my vision. Garcia's hand found mine and gave it a squeeze as the first tear slipped. I bowed my head to hide my crying, not wanting to ruin anything. Morgan placed his hand on my back, patting reassurance in me.

When the beginning of the ceremony ended, one by one, we went up to place our rose on the casket. When it was my turn, I walked up and set the flower gently on the lid. I let my fingers linger on the smooth surface as I whispered, "Good bye, Kelsie.... I love you."

I moved back as my broken heart sent a wave of tears through me. Taking my spot back, Garcia touched my arm before going up. Morgan stood next to me, silent. When everyone had gone, the priest said a parting prayer and the coffin was lowered. The gravediggers came up and began filling the hole with dirt. It took them ten minutes to complete the task, then the ceremony was over.

We stood there, numb with the feeling of loss. I stared at the bare soil, then moved up to her headstone.



Garcia and JJ came and stood on either side of me. JJ turned to me and said, "She's okay, Spencer.... You know that right?"

I nodded and sighed, "I know."

"Spence... she knew how you felt about her."

I nodded again.

"Come on. Lets go to the reception hall."

I turned and walked with JJ and Garcia to the car that would take us to the hall. Getting in the car, Morgan drove us across town. He was speeding, saying we were late. I looked at him and said, "Morgan, slow down."

"Can't, man, we're late."

"Morgan you're going to get us killed."

"Trust me, kid."

I watched as he sped through D.C. and then at the red light we were heading towards. "Morgan... you know the light is red, right?" He said nothing, "Morgan the light is red, slow down." He didn't. "Morgan slow down!"

JJ and Garcia were calling from the back seat to slow down. Morgan sped forward and my heart stopped as he entered the intersection. I turned to look out my widow and caught the sight of the grill of a semi truck before it hit us.Shards of glass broke into my face, cutting my skin. The impact jolted us into more oncoming traffic, and soon I saw nothing.

I felt a pressure on my chest, like a hand. Opening my eyes I saw Derek Morgan hovering over me. Sounds of people murmmering and walking came to me and I moved my eyes to see where I was. I was in the waiting room of a hospital, sitting in a rather uncomfortable chair. Across the hall I saw JJ, Rossi, and Hotch - Hotch still waring his FBI bullet proof vest.

"Wake up, Pretty Boy," said Morgan, "You keep making weird sounds, I had to wake you up from it before anything bad happened to you."

Sitting up I nodded, "Yeah... thanks." Straitening out my clothes, I looked at Morgan and asked, "Has the doctor said anything?"

He frowned, "The champagne had two times the amount of lethal dosage for a human. Her shirt absorbed the liquid and slowed the rate of absorbtion into her skin, but they were able to treat her before anything perminately damaging happened."

I nodded, "Good."

Morgan patting reassurance into my shoulder when the doctor came out. We all stood and he gave us a smile, "She's stable." We let out a sigh of relief, "She'll be moved to a room where she'll stay for a few days, then I recommend her being put on bed rest for a week. She'll be able to fly home after that, assuming everything goes well. She'll have to take a regimen of pills daily, then eventually monthly as she regains her strength."

Hotch nodded, "When will she be able to work again?"

"A month, and that's if she takes it easy in the field."

Hotch nodded, "Thank you."

"I'll let you know when you'll be able to see her."

We nodded and sat back down. I bounced my knee for a minute, then I stood, "I'm going to find coffee... do any of you want some?"

No one did, so I left, following the signs. Finding a machine, I ordered a black coffee, and went back the trip taking me twenty minutes. Rounding the corner, I found my team gone. I asked a nurse where they were and she gave me a room number. Going down the hallway, I entered the single to find everyone standing around Kelsie's bed. They were smiling at her, so she must be awake.

Walking over, I saw her for the first time since leaving her outside of the ER. She was pale and had a layer of sheen over her skin. Her hair was matted and not as brilliant as it usually was. When I joined the group, everyone grew quiet.

"We'll see you tomorrow, Kelsie," said JJ, "Have a good night."

She smiled and everyone left. I moved to her bed side and looked down at her. Sitting in the chair, I took her hand in mine, "How are you feeling?"

"Like I've had poison absorbed through my stomach."

I smiled.

"But other than that, I'm okay."

"Good."

She frowned, "Spencer... I didn't have feelings for Dorian Wilde.... And he kissed me first-"

"Kelsie, Kelsie," I let out a small laugh, "You don't have to say anything... and please calm down. You're not in any condition to be exposed to stressful emotions."

She sighed, "You're the reason why I was able to hold on for as long as I was able to."

I smiled, "Really?"

"Yeah."

I frowned, "I um... fell asleep in the lobby."

She laughed, "Yeah?"

"Yeah. I um... I had a dream that we buried you."

She frowned, "Well luckily you didn't have to. Thanks to you, Hotch, and Derek."

I smiled slightly, "I was afraid I'd lost you."

She smiled, and squeezed my hand. I smiled at her, then stood from my chair to move my face closer to hers. "I don't want to loose you, Kelsie.... Not like that."

She looked into my eyes and said, "With you here, you won't have to experience that."

I cupped her face in my hand, and I kissed her. At first I thought she wasn't going to like it, and I thought I had done the wrong thing, but when she kissed me back I knew I was okay.