I'm Not Over You
A Precious Gift
"Cassie, would you like to share something." Everyone looks at me waiting for me to start speaking and I debate in my mind whether or not to stand up.
"Go on girl," my best friend, Imani, next to me says softly pushing me with her shoulder. I shake my head and stand up slowly. Everyone in the circle looks at me, their faces pulled up into a smile, their eyes filled with curiosity.
"Hello. My name is Cassie. This is my second month here. Some of you maybe know me, some of you may not. Like all of us, I was in an abusive relationship. Yesterday I was thinking, and I realized I'm grateful I met my ex-husband." Everyone's eyes look at me with confusion and questions. I laugh at the silence and look toward Imani. She nods at me, her short head bobbing along.
"Without Logan, my ex, I wouldn't have my gorgeous little girl Veronica. She's my life. And without her, I don't know where I would be." I sit down quickly wondering if what I said made sense. The Domestic Violence Support group always made me nervous to talk. Even though they were like me in a way.
For the rest of the meeting, all I could think about was myself. It had been two years since I actually had been with Logan. I would see him in court, his smirk always on his face, but other than that, there was no us. For the longest during my abusive relationship with him, I thought I would be stuck with him for the rest of my life. But when I found out I was pregnant with our daughter, I realized I had to leave him. He was furious when I told him, he beat me to the point where I had to go to the emergency room. All I could think about was Veronica. Luckily for me, 9 months later, she came out 5pds 8 ounces with no problem. I lived with my best friend ,Imani, until Veronica was 2 months. My grandfather then bought us two a gorgeous apartment but died two months later. He left me his inheritance money. My parents, who don't talk to me, were furious. I got over it and don't talk to them.
" That was cute what you did girl," Imani says suddenly beside me getting me out of my thoughts. We're in her mustang on the way to our best friend, Annabella V, house to pick up my daughter.
"Cute?" My eyebrow raises up and she nods. I clutch the seat as she avoids hitting the car and honks crazy at them.
"Seriously! Learn how to fucking drive! Shit. Yeah, I mean it was nice. Veronica is a plus from your relationship with that dirt bag." Imani of my best friends was the toughest and the meanest. She was overprotective which was a great benefit sometimes but other times it wasn't. It was kind of like having your own protective dog around.
"Ha, yeah. Even when she acts up, I can't get mad. I try and explain to her she's a miracle baby. It's cute how she reacts."
"So does she ask about her dad?"
"She's nosy so she knows that her dad was horrible with me. She understands that he isn't allowed around her. I mean sometimes I see she notices kids with fathers and stares, but she never says anything. And my therapist says I should ask her what's wrong but I'm scared of the answer, ya' know?"
"Yeah. But you're great with her. You need a man for yourself, not for her." She snaps her fingers and winks at me causing me to roll my eyes.
"Girl, shut up. I need to concentrate on college and my daughter. Plus see about a job."
"Blah blah blah. Tomorrow is Saturday and we are going to the club. Annabella has to check someone out there and we get in free she said."
I sigh knowing my girls wouldn't get me out of this one. No excuse worked no matter how hard I tried. But who knows, maybe tomorrow would be enjoyable.
"Go on girl," my best friend, Imani, next to me says softly pushing me with her shoulder. I shake my head and stand up slowly. Everyone in the circle looks at me, their faces pulled up into a smile, their eyes filled with curiosity.
"Hello. My name is Cassie. This is my second month here. Some of you maybe know me, some of you may not. Like all of us, I was in an abusive relationship. Yesterday I was thinking, and I realized I'm grateful I met my ex-husband." Everyone's eyes look at me with confusion and questions. I laugh at the silence and look toward Imani. She nods at me, her short head bobbing along.
"Without Logan, my ex, I wouldn't have my gorgeous little girl Veronica. She's my life. And without her, I don't know where I would be." I sit down quickly wondering if what I said made sense. The Domestic Violence Support group always made me nervous to talk. Even though they were like me in a way.
For the rest of the meeting, all I could think about was myself. It had been two years since I actually had been with Logan. I would see him in court, his smirk always on his face, but other than that, there was no us. For the longest during my abusive relationship with him, I thought I would be stuck with him for the rest of my life. But when I found out I was pregnant with our daughter, I realized I had to leave him. He was furious when I told him, he beat me to the point where I had to go to the emergency room. All I could think about was Veronica. Luckily for me, 9 months later, she came out 5pds 8 ounces with no problem. I lived with my best friend ,Imani, until Veronica was 2 months. My grandfather then bought us two a gorgeous apartment but died two months later. He left me his inheritance money. My parents, who don't talk to me, were furious. I got over it and don't talk to them.
" That was cute what you did girl," Imani says suddenly beside me getting me out of my thoughts. We're in her mustang on the way to our best friend, Annabella V, house to pick up my daughter.
"Cute?" My eyebrow raises up and she nods. I clutch the seat as she avoids hitting the car and honks crazy at them.
"Seriously! Learn how to fucking drive! Shit. Yeah, I mean it was nice. Veronica is a plus from your relationship with that dirt bag." Imani of my best friends was the toughest and the meanest. She was overprotective which was a great benefit sometimes but other times it wasn't. It was kind of like having your own protective dog around.
"Ha, yeah. Even when she acts up, I can't get mad. I try and explain to her she's a miracle baby. It's cute how she reacts."
"So does she ask about her dad?"
"She's nosy so she knows that her dad was horrible with me. She understands that he isn't allowed around her. I mean sometimes I see she notices kids with fathers and stares, but she never says anything. And my therapist says I should ask her what's wrong but I'm scared of the answer, ya' know?"
"Yeah. But you're great with her. You need a man for yourself, not for her." She snaps her fingers and winks at me causing me to roll my eyes.
"Girl, shut up. I need to concentrate on college and my daughter. Plus see about a job."
"Blah blah blah. Tomorrow is Saturday and we are going to the club. Annabella has to check someone out there and we get in free she said."
I sigh knowing my girls wouldn't get me out of this one. No excuse worked no matter how hard I tried. But who knows, maybe tomorrow would be enjoyable.