Do You Know Your Enemy, Darling?

When I was a little girl, I wasn't surrounded by a lot of stuff. Just a lot of good people. I didn't have a computer that could ruin my innocence. I didn't have a phone where people could insult me. And I didn't watch a lot of tv, so I didn't really know about the media.

But that all changed when I moved and got my first laptop. I wanted to catch up with everyone, and exposed myself to so many things that I had never known before. I learned about depression. Sex. And eating disorders.

Being surrounded by all of this stuff truly does ruin a person. If I hadn't been exposed to this stuff still, I would probably be one of those girls on the baseball team or something. Not this girl with bulimia. And if my friends had been the same way, they wouldn't hate themselves. They would see themselves as beautiful and wouldn't resort to sex and stuff.

I think that even though I was exposed to it, I didn't change as a person. My mind just developed more. I still put other people ahead of me. I would lie and tell people I was fine and that I wasn't slowly killing myself if it meant they were happy. Their problems always came before mine.

This was probably one of those times. I needed to ignore what I was thinking, and what my stomach was doing to me so I could focus on Zoey and Skylar. Zoey had just been shot. And of course that comes before me. This was even more deadly than bulimia.

And Skylar had resorted to cutting. She hadn't told anyone, but I could see it. Her fingerless gloves couldn't hide it. But I think everyone was so involved with this that they looked past it, which seemed to please Skylar.

"Dillon, you haven't said a word since we got here." Joe said, rubbing my back. I snapped out of my thoughts, and looked up at him. He looked truly mortified.

"I'm just scared." I said, looking back down. And I was. This girl I had grown to know over the last few weeks had been shot and I knew there wasn't much I could do. I couldn't even offer to donate blood because you have to be a certain weight in order to do that, and I definitely didn't weigh that. Not anymore. And they always had you eat before and after to keep your blood sugars up.

"We all are." Joe said, rubbing my back. A nurse led us to the ICU, allowing each of us in at a time. Tom was already in the room though, so we all had to wait.

"I wish there was something we could do." Skylar said, glancing at her wrists. I knew she was thinking of donating blood as well. But they wouldn't let her as long as she cut.

"Well, you could always donate blood." The nurse said, looking at us. And as expected, Skylar looked away as Tom walked out. I looked up at him.

"I wish we could, but we have a show tonight and need our energy." Joe said. "And even if we don't do this show, we have to do tomorrows." He muttered.

"I can donate a bit." Skylar said. I could see Tom smiling.

"What about you ma'am?" The nurse looked at me. I could feel all eyes on me.

"I can't." I said quietly. "I'm scared of needles." I lied.

"Seriously?!" Tom growled, storming over to me. "You're not going to help Zoey because of a little fear?" He glared. He hated me.

I wanted to say something, but nothing was coming out of my mouth. No, I'm not going to pass out. This is not about me. This is about Zoey.

"You're right. I'll do it." I said, standing up. I felt darkness wash over me, but it cleared up after a moment.

"This was please, we need to weigh you." She said, leading me to a room. Skylar followed as well, as did the guys for support. "Stand on the scale please." She said, motioning towards it.

Skylar walked onto it, and weighed enough the nurse said. You had to be at least 100 pounds.

"Okay, just go into that room." The nurse said, pointing to a room. She nodded and walked into the room. Jackson followed her, keeping his distance.

"Your turn." The nurse looked at me. I nodded, and walked over to the scale. I have to do this. For Zoey.

I stood onto the scale, and pushed myself down on the scale. An old trick I learned. It made it seem like I weighed more than I actually did.

"105 pounds." She said. I nodded. Success. I had managed to make myself weigh an extra ten pounds. "Make sure you eat something afterwards." She said. I just nodded again and walked into the room.

Joe was talking, but I wasn't paying attention anymore. Instead I quietly laid on the chair and leaned back in it as they stuck the needle into my arm to draw blood. I shut my eyes tightly as they drained my body.