Foating with the Stars

I watched his expression change from a scared-to-death look to a I-really-like-this look. His body was tense as he sat in his seat, strapped in the coaster. His body loosened and he even began to giggle a little. His first rollercoaster and I was with him. It took a lot of talking him into to it to get him to even consider coming to an amusement park with me. In line, I had to drag him with me.

I watched him intently, watching his smile. His face move. The way he was scared and very much enjoying this. His laugh. His eyes sparkle. The way he gripped onto my arm. Everything about him.
Why did I ever fall for someone so loveable but someone so blind, someone so… not able to love me back.
My chest tightened, and I almost choked on this.
I never ever want to live my life with anyone but him. I know it sounds stupid, but I know he’s the one.
I’m so hopelessly stuck on him.

We came to a sharp turn, then a sudden drop and he moved his hand placement from my arm to my hand. He squeezed and gasped, closing his eyes. I considered leaning over, wrapping my arm around him. I decided not to in the long run, I’m such a coward. I hate that.
I’m scared one day he will fall for someone else, and I’ll always be the third wheel.
The ride stopped, he let go of my hand. I was savoring that moment, and now it was gone, it make me a little heartbroken. I’m use to it, though.
The handle bars raised, and he sat there for a second staring into space before the people who were going to take the coaster next finally came to the side of it. I climbed my way out, and so did he.

“How was it?” I asked him as we walked down the ramp on the way down. He looked at me with his chocolate brown eyes and smiled.
“It was scary, but I loved it.” Oh my God how I love his smile.
I’m convinced there’s no ladder to help me climb out of this. I’m falling in love. When I reach the bottom, there’s no climbing out. I’m so close to hitting the ground it scares me.

We went on many other rides, he liked most of them, which was amazing because I never thought I would even be able to get him into a amusement park. It was dark, and we were going to leave, but something caught his eye. A Farris Wheel. He shot a excited look to me. With a smile placed over my lips, I nodded and he grabbed my hand, catching eyes of curious lookers. They watched us, Two boys holding hands running to a Farris Wheel, it made me feel as if we are something larger than friends. Reality was screaming at me to follow it, but fantasy tempted me and I took the bait. I could live in the moment, right? Even though I know it was wrong, and would only disappoint me and break my heart in the long run. Emotions took it’s toll on my and the amusement park suddenly became symbolic. Always up and down, always in love and never the lover.
He was still holding my hand, and he pounded the ground with his feet out of excitement.
“I’ve always wanted to go on one,” he whispered in my ear, sending of waves vibrating up my spine. When it was our turn to get in, he let go of and dug himself into the seat, I laughed and joined him. Our handle was pushed against us by some worker, and he grabbed my hand again. It was like electricity to my skin. It rose, and he was beaming.

He moved his thumb slowly on my hand, my heart was over boiling with happiness and comfort it almost forgot we’re nothing more than friends.
I frowned, looked down at our hands and felt nothing but emptiness. Happiness flooded out of my body and I just felt numb. It felt like I was staring at out hands for ages. I neglected to notice he was staring at me. I felt something touch my check. I looked up at him and everything was blurry, the lights from the other rides were blurred. I didn’t know why until he completely ran his hand down my face and his smile turned down. He pulled his hand down.
“What’s wrong?” he asked with a concerned tone. I didn’t know what he was talking about, and I leaned up to rub my eyes and my hands got wet. I felt a tear roll down my check and on my shirt.
I was crying? I didn’t even notice until it was too late. I was sobbing until my stomach hurt.
“Ryan… what’s wrong?”
I shook my head, and held it in my hands. “Tell me.” He ordered me. When he waited long enough, and no answer was given to him, he side hugged me. I pulled away, and more sobs escaped from my mouth.
“Do not touch me.” I almost growled at him.
“H-how come?” He asked, shocked. I didn’t answer, just looked away. “Ryan.. Please just tell me!” He yelled about three times until I couldn’t take it anymore,
“Because you don’t mean it!” I yelled at him, and he just looked at me with a upset look I’ve never seen in all my years of knowing him. It was a new look.
“What are you-” he began, I cut him off.
“You’re always holding my hand, hugging me. I’m sick of it meaning nothing to you! Just stop it because it’s not helping!”
“Not helping what?” He’s so clueless.
“I’m in love. With you, no one else. Stop touching me so I can get over you.”

I looked away, not able to take the look on his face. The ground was way under us, and the stars seemed touchable. I felt like the tinniest person in the world and I just wanted to disappear. I felt a hand grab for my face, and I pushed it away. It was persistent though. I turned around to yell at him again, but I didn’t get the chance. As soon as I opened my mouth, he pressed his lips to mine. My heart fell to my toes. He moved his lips over mine slowly and I felt his hand go through my hair and push my head closer to his. My hands were at my side, not knowing what to do. I didn’t kiss back.

When he pulled away, his eyes found mine.
“Love is weird,” he began, and pressed his forehead to mine, “it’s a coward, it’s unbelievably scared of showing itself until it can’t take it anymore. I was so scared Ry.” He closed his eyes, but kept his forehead to mine. “I would have rather died keeping you as a friend, then showing my love and losing you.”
A tear floated down his check. His eyes opened, showing me how glossy they are. My hand seemed to float up, and I caressed his check with the back of my hand. He pulled in again and kissed me shyly, then looking to me for acceptance. I didn’t even wait. I pushed my lips to his. I wrapped my arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. I shut my eyes to get completely lost in him, in the moment. It finally felt right. My heart was singing. I was now on top of the world, stars floating around me. My fantasy came true, a hundred feet above the ground, above everything.
When we were off, and in the parking lot I felt arms snake around my waist and a head on my shoulder. Brendon’s placed a kiss in my check.
Words were whispered into my ear, they sounded like Brendon’s but I had to turn around to make sure it was him, that he was actually there.
“I do love you, George Ryan Ross. More than I can ever express. Words are too weak when it comes to this feeling. Words don’t describe how amazing you are and how full my heart is right now.”
“Can we stay awake for the rest of our lives?” I asked him.
“Wait, why?”
“I don’t ever, ever, want to wake up from this.” I informed him.
“This is not a ‘dream’, nor will it ever be.”