One Last Time

I was sitting in the waiting room of the maternity with Zack. There were pregnant women of all types there, and it scared the shit out of me to be pregnant. There were ladies there that were as big as a house! And then there were some of them that had just completely let themselves go. I couldn’t believe it! Oh and the worst part were the mothers and old ladies there for their daughters that were giving me dirty disapproving looks. Why were they looking at me that way? Did I look funny? If anything they were the ones that looked funny, with their silly clothes, and other, um, stuff. Maybe they thought I was in high school. But I wasn’t. I had graduated a long time ago! I was older than some of them there, oh well. Screw them. They were all just pissy pregnant ladies. Wait, I’m a pissy pregnant lady! Wow this sucks!

“Miss Anderson? The doctor will see you now,” said the nurse. Zack took my and in his as we stood up and followed the nurse into a room. The room was just like any other room in a doctor’s office, white, and anatomy posters on the wall, and that table thing in the middle of the room with the goddamn paper on it. But there was also a sonogram machine, and the metal things on the end f the table you were supposed to put your feet on when they, you know. But there was no way in hell they are getting me to do that!

No way in hell!

“I am sooo glad I am a guy right now…” said Zacky looking around.

“Oh you just wait until I get huge and pissy.” I said.

“You already are pissy,”

“Hey!”

“Haha, sorry. I couldn’t help it.” He said laughing, but then he whispered something that I could just make out, “But it’s the truth…”

After that little remark I just hit him.

“Ow! Hey watch it!” he said.

“And what happens if I don’t?” I said daring him.

“Don’t make me come over there!” he said poking me.

“You already are over here!” I said laughing.

“You have a point…” he said cracking his knuckles.

“You know, cracking your knuckles will give you arthritis,” said a low male voice, “How are you today Kat? I’m doctor Fisher.” He said. Dr. Fisher was a tall handsome man, and I didn’t think Zacky really liked where this was going. Zacky watched as Dr. Fisher ruffle through his wavy blonde hair in envy.
“So you’re only a month pregnant?” he said looking at his clipboard.

“Uh, yes.” I replied.

“Okay, well there’s not really much we can do with you today except take you blood and tell you what you should expect during your pregnancy.” He said.

Uh oh. I didn’t go well with needles.

“So what types of thing should I expect in my first trimester?” I asked trying to sound smart.

“Well, obviously you are going to have morning sickness that lasts until about week 12 to 14, and then you might feel a bit more exhausted, you will have tender breasts, you might need to go to the bathroom more often than usual, you might crave things that you never even liked before, your breasts will grow in size, and also there may be an increase in sexual pleasure. Oh and at the end of the first trimester you will start to see your belly get rounder.” He said like it was no big deal.

My mouth just dropped open. All of this? And just in the first trimester?! This is completely ridiculous! Although I thought I saw Zack smile when Dr. Fisher mentioned the thing about increased sexual pleasure.

“Wait a minute, holy cow! Um, all of this in the first 13 weeks? This is gonna be torture!” I said to the doctor.

“Yes, but your boyfriend here is going to have to deal with it too,” he said winking at Zacky.

“So when is she going to start to get mean?” asked Zack.

“Right about now, during the sixth week. Her hormones will start to go a-wire.” said Dr. Fisher.

“Great…” Zacky said exaggerating.

“Here. I want you guys to read this book together,” he said handing me a very thick book. I didn’t even bother to look at it. I just sat it on Zack’s lap as he shoved it in his hoody pocket.

Dr. Fisher then went out of the room and came back with Renee. My favorite nurse when I was a child. She switched to the maternity wing when I was a teenager.

“Hey Kat! I knew you were coming today for an appointment, and I also knew that you the needles so I offered to take your blood instead,” she said in a very cheerful voice.

“Yay! I never trust anybody but you,” I said holding out my arm. She washed it off with rubbing alcohol, and put the stuff on my arm. I closed my eyes tight and turned away just about crushing Zacky’s hand, while she stuck the needle slowly into my arm. I cringed as I felt I poke through my skin. Then about 30 seconds later the vile of blood was full and I relaxed.

“Great! So now how’d mom and dad take the great news?” she said taking the bottle, sticking a label on it and putting it in a drawer labeled ‘Expecting Mother’s Blood Samples’

“Well… they sort of found out the wrong way and now everyone hates me,” I said simply.

“Uh-oh. Since you’re not married yet your mom must’ve been fumed!” she said.

“Yeah,” I said looking at Zack. Then we heard a baby screaming its head off down the hall.

“Whoops! Sorry guys I have to go! Nice to see you again!” she said running out the door and down the hall. Then just as she rounded the corner the doctor walked back in.

“Okay, so I just need you guys to sign some papers for me and then you can be on your way!” he said. I signed where I needed to, as did Zack.

“Also, Miss Anderson, please be sure not to drink alcohol, or smoke, and to eat extra healthy for your baby,” he said as I walked out the door and down the hall. It was eerily quiet, and seemingly dark. Nobody was around for some reason. I got nervous so I laced my fingers with Zacky’s.

“Will you still love me when I’m fat and pissy?” I asked him innocently.

“I will love you and think you are beautiful no matter what,” he said kissing me on the top of my head.

Needless to say, that was he highlight of my day.

Zack and I drove back home from the doctors as I held the thick book in my hands. It was called, ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting’. I thought about taking the book and throwing it out the window, but I would probably need it.

“That visit is going to scar me for life,” I said trying not to remember all of the things the doctor had said about my first trimester.

“Oh come on, don’t let it scare you,” he said rubbing my shoulder.

“Well, back to hell,” I said as we pulled into my driveway.

I fidgeted with everything I could to put off going back into my house, but I eventually got to the door and walked through it. I braced for everyone to give me the cold shoulder, a raging fight, or the look of death, but I could have never prepared myself for this.

Everyone from my entire family immediately bombarded Zacky and me. Aunts, uncles, my grandparents, my cousins, mom and dad, even my brother and sister. They were all asking us questions like ‘what are you naming the baby if it’s a boy? Or if it’s a girl’ or ‘Who are the godparents going to be?’ and even, ‘Who is the real father?’ at that one I got sort of irritated ad said, “It’s Zacky! Who else would it be? I love him!” And then they looked disappointed. No one in my family really approved of me dating a non-Italian with all of those tattoos and plugs, and most of all, eyeliner. Although I kept trying to tell them that he was half-Italian, I guess they just didn’t like the fact that he was also half German and that he didn’t speak Italian. My grandparents, however, only spoke Italian so they would often make fun of Zacky without him knowing. I tried to stick up for him, but they would often shun me for back sassing.

We were now all sitting at my dining room table eating the huge dinner that my family had made while I was gone.

“So tell me,” I started, “How could you go from being so angry at us, to completely happy and inviting all of our relatives over for dinner?” I asked eating my baked Ziti.

“Well, at first were all extremely mad at you because well, you aren’t married, and you aren’t with a proper partner, and al-” started my mother.

“Okay! Get to the point please,” I said cutting her off saving Zacky the embarrassment.

“Well, then we all talked about it, and we decided that we can’t wait to be grandparents!” said my mother proudly, “Oh yes, and when I called to tell my sister she told everybody else and the they all drove over here because they are nosy little bastards,” she added.

“Well then, that explains it. You always were the gossiper of the family aunt Maria.” I said laughing.

“Yeah, well it’s what I’m good at,” she said simply.

I have to say, that night at dinner was one of the best family dinners that I have ever had. Everyone was nice to Zack, my sister was actually sober, and my dad and brother were very well behaved. And my other Aunt Zelda said that she would even plan the baby shower for me! Wow I was excited, but I wasn’t excited about the problems I was going to have during my first trimester. Although that night I did experience one of the better side effects that Zacky definitely loves. He was playing his guitar and I got totally turned on. I took him by the collar of his shirt, and threw him on the bed. I took off his belt buckle and undid his pants as he took off my shirt and unclasped my bra. Thank god the guest rooms are on the other side of the house!