With You

I showed up at Rob's house the next morning with one thing on my mind. I wasn't backing down. I'd gotten a taste of how bad Rob was, seeing that the drugs had turned him back to the person I'd hated in our high school days, and now I was ready to face that inner demon of his. There were going to be no surprises. I knew how bad it was, how bad he was, and I knew I had to be the one to fix it.

With a trash bag in hand, Jessi and I climbed the stairs. I opened the door and peeked in. He was still on the bed and he never moved in acknowledgment to me. We began our mission. Bottles, cigarette packs (empty or not), and the packages of Meth I found in one of his drawers--they all went quietly into the large, black, plastic bag.

I gave it to Jessi to take away and looked at her solumly. "Whatever you hear or whatever Rob may say or do, you need to know he doesn't mean it. This isn't him so don't be intimidated if you get into this."

"You sure you don't want me in there?" she asked, concerned.

I nodded. "I need to do this by myself. Don't worry about me."

Reluctantly, she left me and I went into the room and threw open the curtains, sunlight spilling into the room, giving me a sense of courage as I went over to Rob.

"Get up!" I yelled, shoving him.

He woke up and turned on me. I could see by his eyes that he'd recently used. This was going to be fun. When his blurry eyes focused, his face grew hard, angry.

"Get out of here," he growled.

"No, I am not leaving until I know you'll get your self back together."

"I don't need you to do anything."

"Rob, I am not joking! Get off your ass and get straightened out!"

"I don't need you telling me what to do!" he barked.

"Like hell if you got a choice! I'll tell you what I want and you're going to do it!"

He rose from the bed, a towering, threatening figure. I was small compared to him and now I felt exceedingly tiny. He balled his fists as he glared down at me, his eyes unnerving. He was going to lose it and I was the first thing in his path, but I wasn't going to let him win.

"If you're going to hit me, then hit me," I said evenly, glaring right back at him.

I honestly thought he would. This wasn't my Rob. This was his worst side, the side very few people ever saw. I hated this part of him because it wasn't him.

He didn't move, only continuing to glare at me. "I want you to leave," he said through clenched teeth.

I moved closer, made myself taller, and increased my glare. "No."

"You're a real pain in the ass, you know that? Move on with your life, Jen. Mine'll be done if I want it to."

"I won't let that happen," I said.

"Why?" he snapped again. "Why can't you just leave me alone? You wanted to be alone and I listened! Why can't--" His body suddenly shook with a coughing fit. It became bad enough he had to sit down on the bed, trying to force the coughs to quit while I just looked at him.

When he finally stopped, I spoke. "That's why. I can't handle seeing you like this. I care too much about you." He didn't say anything and glared at the floor. "If you aren't going to get help for me then do it for the guys. Do it for Jessi and your parents. They're not worth losing."

After that, I left him again.

</3

I was sitting in the apartment alone, waiting for Teal to get home or a call from Adam to get me out of there. I'd dug my guitar out and retuned it, feeling a lot more at ease. I strummed "The Messanger" and hummed along with it. I wished Chester had been there to sing it. No one could beat Chester at that song period.

The door opened and Teal walked in, dropping her purse on the floor with a sigh. When she saw me with my guitar, she grimaced.

"Bad day?"

"Not sure..."I said, picking the beginning of "A Place For My Head". "We'll see soon enough." She looked at me questionably, but didn't say anything and went to the kitchen. "Where's Prince Dastan?" I asked, using one of my many nicknames for Dustin.

"He went to visit some old friends, I guess. Where's Hotty Adam?" Teal wiggled her eyebrows at me and I just shook my head and switched to Steve Earl's "Guitar Town".

"He's probably becoming the next DiVinci or something..."

"I thought it was DiCaprio..."

I looked at her. "Wow...You need some cultural reeducation."

Teal rolled her eyes at me. "I'm kidding, Jen."

"Sure..." I said with a smirk, then I turned serious. "Teal...you were so against me and Rob splitting up the first time, why are you for it now? Why are you encouraging me to move on all of a sudden?"

Teal's shoulders dropped and she looked sad. "Because I'm seeing how this whole thing with staying in his life is ruining you. I don't like to see you miserable and when you envelope yourself in this shit, that's what you are." She blinked rapidly and took a deep breath. "I can't think about almost losing you again. I think with you moving on from Rob...I think that'll help."

I looked at her in silence before I smiled. "You're the bestest friend ever you know that?"

She gave me a small smile. "I know."